InuYasha howled helplessly as Kagome, in a fit of pique, repeatedly told him to sit. Sit sit sit. It's all he ever heard out of her anymore! Ever since she had found him with Kikyo in the forest, she had been finding the smallest reasons for sitting him. This time, he had simply asked for more Ramen.
After the spell wore off, InuYasha got woozily to his feet, glared at Kagome, and stalked off into the forest for some alone time. He fumed the whole way. Jumping into a tree, he sat on a high branch, cursing Kagome to the ends of the earth and back. Loudly.
Meanwhile, deeper in the forest, Sashi was searching for a certain herb. Being a priestess, Sashi could make all sorts of concoctions, but none that could bring her true love. She let her mind wander to that luscious monk she had met about a month ago. He was her new obsession. He and a gang of friends had shown up in her village, seeking information about Naraku. Sashi had fallen instantly in love with the monk, whose name was Miroku. If not for the demon slayer girl with the giant boomerang, Sashi would have indeed borne his children. Willingly. But no sooner had he asked that the slayer had brought her boomerang down on his handsome head. What was her problem?
Sashi was brought out of her memories by loud yelling of unsavory words. Following the voice, she finally reached InuYasha in his tree. He was trying to pull a necklace of beads off his neck, to no avail. Sashi yelled up to him.
"Hey….don't I know you? Weren't you traveling with that monk Miroku?" Sashi asked hopefully.
"Feh...who wants to know?" InuYasha replied.
"My name is Sashi. I am a priestess, the one in the village you visited about a month ago." Sashi replied. "Were you with him?"
"Yeah."
"What are you doing?" Sashi asked, watching as the hanyou bit the beads, trying to break them.
"I'n tryin to get thethe thtupid beadth offa me!" InuYasha said, his voice muffled by his mouthful of necklace.
"Why?" Sashi asked.
InuYasha told her the story behind the necklace, making Kagome out to be one evil teenager. Sashi listened, a plan growing in her mind.
"I can help you. For a price."
InuYasha stopped fighting the necklace. "Yeah? How?"
"I can remove the beads."
InuYasha froze. "You can?"
"I can." Said Sashi. "I can take them off of you and put them on someone else. Then you would have power over them."
InuYasha thought for a moment. Only a moment. "Name your price."
InuYasha walked out of the forest back to the group, looking in decidedly better spirits. He sat next to Kagome.
Kagome looked at him grudgingly, noticing the half-smile on his face.
"Looks like you had a fine time with Kikyo." She muttered.
"What are you talking about?" InuYasha asked.
"Don't make me out to be stupid, you bastard, I know where you've been!" Kagome cried. "You've been with her again! Well, you can just SIT!"
Nothing happened.
"SIT!"
Still nothing.
"Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit!" Kagome yelled until she ran out of breath. She looked at InuYasha's neck. The necklace was gone.
"Where's your necklace?" Kagome asked.
"I dunno….why don't YOU sit?"
Kagome started to reply, but smashed face first into the ground instead. Sitting up, ribbing her nose, she looked down. There were the beads, around HER neck!
InuYasha was laughing hysterically, rolling around on the ground. "Finally! Now you know how it feels!"
"What's going on? Why are these beads on me?" Kagome asked fretfully.
"Why don't you just SIT down and think about it?"
"GRAAAAGH!" Kagome cried as she hit the dirt again.
InuYasha laughed again. "I have you at my mercy now!"
For a glorious while, InuYasha told Kagome to sit every chance he got. Then he remembered Sashi's request.
InuYasha cornered Miroku in the forest. "Hey, I have something for you to do."
Miroku was suspicious. "What?"
"There's this girl…"
"Say no more." Miroku cut him off. "Where is she?"
"Where's Miroku?" Sango asked after InuYasha returned monk-less.
"Erm, he had somewhere to go." InuYasha said casually, looking at the fire burning low. "Kagome, this fire is pathetic. Fix it, willya?"
"But I…." Kagome began.
"SIT!"
Sashi was waiting for Miroku. Finally, she heard him coming. "This way, monk."
Miroku emerged from the trees, looking at Sashi. "Well hello there…."
"My name is Sashi. I am from the village south of here. You came through about a month ago and asked me to bear your child."
"Did I? I don't recall. There are so many women…" Miroku replied.
THWAK!
Sashi looked at the monk angrily. An angry red handprint was blooming on his cheek.
"InuYasha was right! You ARE a pervert!"
Back at the camp, InuYasha was laughing again as Kagome pulled her face out of the dirt.
"This is perfect!" He cried, wiping the tears of mirth from his amber eyes. "I'm so the boss of you!"
Kagome sat up, wiping the dirt out of her eyes. "You are such a jerk! SIT!"
InuYasha started laughing again. "That doesn't work on me anym….."
SLAM!
InuYasha plummeted into the ground, face-first. He sat up, rubbing his nose.
"What the hell….?" He looked down. There were the beads again, back where they belonged.
"W-What? NO!" InuYasha clawed at the beads, but they held fast.
Kagome looked up at him and smiled sadistically. "Sit, boy!"
SLAM!
"Sit!"
SLAM!
"SIT!"
SLAM!
"Enough! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" InuYasha said desperately, spitting sand out of his mouth.
Miroku returned, several handprints and bruises across his face. Sashi not only slapped, she punched. "InuYasha, that was a dirty trick to play on Kagome. Priestess Sashi told me the whole thing."
Miroku told the story, and Kagome looked madder than ever. So did Sango. The fight lasted throughout the night.
"SIT!" SLAM!
"Miroku, you slimeball!" BANG!
"SIT!" SLAM!
"You're such a…." BANG!
"SIIIIIIIT!" SLAM!
"Perverted monk!" BANG!
Miroku and InuYasha hid in the forest the next day, nursing bruised noses and bumps on the head.
"Dis is all your fault, bunk!" InuYasha said through his swollen nose.
"MY fault? I didn't make that deal with Sashi!"
wrestling match ensues
THE END