The light drifting in through the high windows disturbed her sleep, and her eyes fluttered open slowly. She winced at the brightness and blinked a few times, and sat up with a loud cry as pain flowed through her veins. She looked down at her arms and chest, horrified at the long, deep claw marks she saw there. And then it all came flooding back to her...
She was cold, and lonely. And so she turned to him. Her killer, her worst enemy...and the only man who could make her feel alive again. She approached him cautiously, with great need shining in her eyes, and he had willingly accepted her, pushing her down on to the bed silently. They didn't need words; their bodies understood the dance which they were about to partake of. Kisses and caresses were the only language they both seemed to understand. That and pain.
He bit into her shoulder roughly, tearing her skin apart as he slid her miko garbs off her body, tossing them to the floor. In turn, she slipped her hands into his hakama, pulling them down his legs and letting his clothing fall away carelessly. His claws raked over her skin, ripping her flesh and causing her blood to flow freely around them. Then he kissed her, rough and bruisingly before spreading her legs apart and entering her fast and hard. She screamed out in pain and pleasure, meeting his thrusts. She lost herself in his touch, in the endless amounts of agony he sent coursing through her body which were always followed closely by the sweetest ecstacy she had ever known. They both exploded in unison, screaming each other's names into the dark night, and when she caught her breath again, she whispered in his ear, "I love you, Naraku." He simply nodded and rolled over, pulling her close to his body as they both drifted off to sleep.
She shook her head, driving the memories away. He was never there when she awoke in the morning, she always opened her eyes to find the bed cold and empty beside her. She fought back her tears, unwilling to cry anymore over him. For all the pain he had caused her, she didn't understand why she needed him so...why she loved him. But she did, heaven help her. She also knew that he would never love her back.
She laid back, sinking into the silken sheets on which she lay, tears streaming from her eyes. She wasn't supposed to feal anything anymore. Her body was dead, her heart was cold-so why did it hurt so bad when he used her and tossed her aside? The physical pain she could handle. His claws and his teeth, the bruises he left on her body were almost intoxicating. But the mental anguish when he left her, rejected her, refused to return her affections was enough to make her wish that should could return to the soil from which she had been so cruelly snatched.
She buried her face in the covers, inhaling his scent which was still so potent around her. She wanted and needed him, she loved him. She was tired of simply being used, of playing his sick, sadistic and lustful little games. She made up her mind that last night had been the final time; she would turn her back and walk away from him, no matter how much it tore her apart.
Gathering her clothing from the foot of the bed, she slid it over her bruised and broken body, gasping and wimpering in pain with every movement. She had so many scars from their lovemaking sessions, cruel reminders of her love for him and his lust for her. She tied her long, ebony locks back securely, and slowly got to her feet, stopping for a moment to steady herself and then walked slowly to the great hall where she knew he would be waiting for her. He always was.
As she entered, her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. Her lifeless heart was pounding in her chest, and she felt her cheeks flush as she stared at him. He was simply beautiful, everything she ever could have wanted. But no...she had to be strong, she had to end this before it ended her.
She approached him slowly, just as she had the night before. But this time, her intentions were different. This time, she was going to say goodbye...
"Naraku," she said, catching his attention, "I will not do this with you anymore. I cannot play these games. I have true feelings for you, but I am simply a toy to you. I will not allow you to use me anymore."
His eyes narrowed and he glared at her, catching her wrist and pulling her into his lap. She tried to struggle and break free of him, but her heart just wasn't in it. She was weak, and she knew that in the end, she would stay. She stared into his eyes, trying her best to be defiant, but his crimson orbs made it hard for her to breath. She swore she could see into his soul.
"Kikyou, you know that you will never leave me. You need me, just as I need you. You knew when this all started that this is how it would be. There is no escaping it."
He kissed her lips and brushed her hair back out of her eyes, wrapping her in a tight embrace. She returned the kiss, hating herself for giving in to him once again. His hands found their way to her skin, pushing her clothing off of her body once again. She shivered under his touch.
"Naraku...can you not tell me that you love me? Even if you don't mean it...just say it, just once..."
Could he say it? Would he be willing to, simply to appease her? She lowered her eyes, pulling her body away from his caresses and waited.
"Who says that I won't mean it, Kikyou? As hard as it is for me to believe...I do."
"You do what, Naraku?" Tears were running down her cheeks again. She could barely believe what he was saying; it was too good to be true.
"I do..." he brought his fingers up to gently wipe the tears from her beautiful blue eyes, "love you, Kikyou..."
As soon as the words passed his lips, she allowed herself to sink into him. Everything she wanted, everything she needed, he had just given to her. And she believed him with all of her heart and soul. She would stay with him forever, or at least as long as he would have her. He gathered her up in his arms and carried her back to his chamber, prepared to show her a different, gentler side of himself. Now, they would learn a new game...together.
