Note: This is a rewrite. Let's see where this goes.
It's 2:24 in the morning and Tori Vega—the rising star, stared at the red digital numbers on her clock's face as she had been for some two hours now. She was also pretty sure her phone was about to ring in a few seconds. She scratched her eyes and pulled the duvet closer to her cold form.
Cold, just like her blood.
She laughed inwardly at the memories she had with her in Hollywood Arts—most of which are fallacies, cover ups, disguises they wore to prevent others from seeing who they became once they were alone. This one memory happened on a very hot day, Tori sweating along with her friends who kept complaining about Los Angeles weather—you think they'd be used to it by now—and then she arrived with her tray of food. Dry. Like water had never existed on her cool, porcelain skin.
Tori asked her if she was okay and why she wasn't sweating just like everyone else—enter the cold-blooded joke. She sneered at Tori but the Latina had been feeling brave that day and put her hands all over her—her skin, her neck, her face.
The younger Vega missed the days she'd let her touch her innocently because as much as she wanted to now, she couldn't.
The phone rang on cue and Tori lazily reached for it on the nightstand. The same nightstand she'd been watching time fly and it seemed like forever because there was literally nothing else to occupy her mind. She didn't even know why she couldn't spare herself valuable time to sleep but as soon as she had her PearPhone in hand, those reasons became irrelevant. She didn't even have to check Caller ID because she knew all too well who it was on the other line.
Jade West-Oliver.
"Did I wake you up?" The caller in question asked innocently with a twinge of I really don't care if I did, as she did every night. Tori rolled to her side and pressed the phone in her ear so Jade's voice reached every nook and cranny of her brain. It was like a drug to her; this pain she was causing just served more purpose in pleasure than any aspect of Tori's sanity. Tori nodded in reply, but remembered that she was on the phone. She closed her eyes and took in a large heap of air.
What she did next was let out a cranky, "Yes," with her brows furrowed. What did Jade want now—perhaps what she wanted every night? "But you can't come up this time." Tori told her straight. She swore could almost feel Jade's devilish smile on the other line.
"And what makes you think I want to come up this time?" Now she was in for it. Stupid—she cursed herself for being so stupid for assuming—this was Jade after all. One had to be prepared for comebacks.
Tori bit her lip and sat up; her bare back touching the wooden headboard of her bed. No, she had not slept with anyone prior; she just loved the feel of her sheets on her body and if anyone judged her for that, she really couldn't care less. "It's just what you always do," Silence. Good. "I'm not sure you'd be one to break routine, West." Tori still called Jade by her maiden name partly because it was catchy and partly because she still couldn't accept the fact that the girl had been happily married for almost a year now—with Tori as the maid of honor during the marriage proper.
They laid in silence for a while, thick tension in the air and Tori was sure that Jade had hung up. But for good measure, Tori thought, she had to say something just to know for sure if she really did hang up.
"Jade?" Tori said solemnly. She wished she hadn't because she heard rattling on the other line and a door that slammed shut.
Then the line was cut off.
Tori sighed—she felt defeated, she felt relieved. She just didn't know which emotion overpowered the other. She hated how far Jade took her sometimes; pushing her off her limits but ending up piecing her back together anyway. She hated how Jade made her heart spin like a madman, then how lost she'd feel because Jade would leave her up in the air right after. She hated the way Jade had the power to change her entire agenda—be it long term or short term, she had so much power over her and what Tori hated most was that she couldn't bring herself to hate Jade at all. Not even a little bit.
As expected, the door to Tori's unit starts rattling and something else she expected would be that Jade would be on the other end. She decided on leaving, acting asleep, or putting on clothes and she decided that it was the last one easiest to accomplish. Tori walked to her closet as the sounds of shaky footsteps on heels grew closer and she put on a cotton blouse and some underwear. She didn't want to look too ready for Jade, assuming that tonight was going to be one of those nights, but maybe some resistance would change the girl's mind.
She stood up too quickly and her head began throbbing. She looked at her open doorway (she had issues that needed to be settled by the end of the quarter, her therapist had quoted) and saw Jade standing with a sly grin on her face and a hint of lust in her eyes.
"I thought I told you not to come up." Tori's voice faltered as Jade took a step forward, the heels of her boots sounding off of the linoleum tiles. Jade's intense gaze moved from Tori's eyes down to her stomach, then to her legs and finally to the tips of her toes—making the Latina shiver to her core.
"Is that why you're dressing up?" Jade cocked her head to the side, inspecting Tori's bed with her sheets in a mess. "Because you thought I'd listen to you?" Her grin grew wider as she chuckled under her breath. The paler woman stepped to her side, moving to circle Tori like a predator would its prey. "At least I didn't catch you naked again." Jade continued with repulsion, tongue grazing her teeth with no intention of hiding what she really wanted from her visit. She smiled and Tori took a step forward, eyebrow knitted and ready to make a comeback when Jade said, "You should really close your door at night."
Tori blushed and Jade's smile grew ten fold, "How much did you see?" was all Tori could ask.
"Enough—" Jade's voice didn't falter. "—but seriously Vega you should really—"
"I'm going to bed." Tori cut her off, a hand extended and eyes closed because Jade started to sound genuinely concerned.
"Hey, Vega" The half-Latina walked to the foot of her bed, "I'm still talking to you!" Jade snapped angrily as her hands placed themselves above her stomach.
"Well I'm done talking." Tori turned around to face her for what seems to be the last time; face tired and eyes foggy. She needed sleep and she knew very well that Jade wasn't going to give it to her.
Jade's smile grew wider and Tori looked away, as if it was going to help. "So you'd rather we don't talk?" The paler woman's voice grew silkier and silkier after every word she uttered. "I'm okay with that." Jade stood before Tori now, with the former feeling so tall because other than the heels on her feet, Tori made her feel like she was in control 24/7.
Air escaped Tori's lungs as she forgot how to breathe when Jade stood before her, tall and mighty, as if she knew how this was going to end up. The latter was in her usual outfit, all black. Leather jacket, black pants, a dark-colored tank top (army green) and black boots. She had more make up now than she did in school and now that she's a successful artist—career shifting more towards music and singing—with over ten hits and two albums, a third one in the making, Jade West-Oliver had her appearances to keep up.
Like most nights, Tori would try to convince her that she was sleeping on the bed, and Jade on the sofa, but she'd stealthily creep inside the bedroom and lie down beside Tori because Tori never did have the heart to lock the door knowing Jade was only steps away from her grasp (her therapist knew not of her sleeping patterns and company, perhaps the same reason she could never solve Tori's closed-door problems.)
So Tori tried again, "Listen, Jade, this time I mean it," her hand made its way to her hair with her eyes shut and Jade eyed the Latina down in a challenge. "You can't come in here, okay?" Tori opened her eyes, Jade shifts her weight and purses her lips, then suddenly stands up straight.
"Outside is fine." Jade said, moving forward to whisper something in Tori's ear. The rational part of Tori told her to push Jade away, and that dominant part of Tori that wanted Jade told her to stay and listen. But some ounce of Tori's strength was able to lift her hand and push Jade's shoulder weakly.
"I mean it, Jade." Jade looked at you with her menacing green eyes as her finger ran down her forearm. Tori shivered at Jade's touch but couldn't stop her even when Jade brought her hand to her lips in a soft kiss, tongue tracing her skin, "I mean it." Tori remained defiantly.
"Mean what, Vega?" Jade challenged, using her stern voice Tori was already used to as her base of power when in fact, the half-Latina was never scared of it. In fact, it kind of turned her on. Tori attempted to settle her hand down, but Jade caught it and brought Tori's knuckles to her lips. The Latina wanted to shrug Jade off but she couldn't, it was only when she brought them down that Tori relaxed.
"I'm going to bed." Tori said, ignoring Jade's romantic gesture. Anyone would expect to hear the sound of Jade's heels clicking on Tori's linoleum floor, following her, but she didn't hear anything but the nervous, wracking muscle in her chest that was aching right now. "Good night, Jade." Tori said once Jade reached the doorway, it seemed like she was going to behave tonight.
"Vega?" Jade turned with her hand on the wooden doorway. Tori tried not to look at her but Jade's voice sounded so sweet and innocent that she couldn't steer away.
Tori bit her lip in frustration, "Yes, Jade?" Jade smiled coyly, head cocked as if she were saying no to herself and for some reason Tori was so sure she was biting her lip right about now.
"Nothing," Jade smiled, "Good night." Jade's hand slid down the doorway and she walked out to Tori's living room, "Are the blankets still where you keep them?" Jade asked, hands curling in her hair. Tori furrowed her brows and crossed her arms on her chest, inspecting Jade's lips to see if they were curled as she thought they were—yes, they were.
"Umm, yeah." Tori stammered, moving past Jade to reach inside the cabinet in the laundry room of her apartment unit. "Still here, you might not want to use the red ones though." Tori took a step back and spotted Jade only in her tank top. Jade gave her a small grin and moved closer.
"What's wrong with them?" She was a little bit closer than Tori would want but that's why the Latina took a step back.
"I thought you said you were freezing." Tori gave a fake cough as she ruffled her hair, curled strands falling over her shoulders even after she'd just gotten out of the bed—a natural reaction when exposed to Jade's porcelain skin. Skin she yearned to touch as the seconds flew by.
"I am," Jade defended, "So here, thank you Vega." She grabbed a blanket and moved out of Tori's way, the Latina eyed her carefully, trying to discern whatever it was Jade had in store for the night because she was pretty sure she had something in store for them, whether it was good or bad, Tori knew she wouldn't forget it.
"Good night, Tori." Jade said like a gentleman would, so poised and so controlled it seemed almost genuine. In turn, Tori just nodded back.
A few moments later, Tori was still wide awake since Jade was just outside her bedroom. It was killing her. She kept tossing and turning and she didn't know how long she kept doing that, but she was pretty sure the mattress was going to break from all the moving. A few minutes more of willing herself to sleep (to no avail) when she slammed a pillow on her face and screamed with the pillow muffling the sound. Tori hated feeling this way, so weak,and it was all because of the woman sleeping on her couch outside the room.
Tori lifted the pillow to find it soaked from all the tears she'd let out. It was so pathetic and what was sad was she didn't plan on doing anything about it. She loved Jade, yet she couldn't have her, even though they had these trysts, she could never trulyhave her—not now, not ever.
Tori rolled over to her side, her thoughts defeating her when she heard footsteps come into the room. Tori tried to fake sleep again, but she knew that she'd crack once Jade spoke to her. The bed dipped from Jade's weight and she crawled in closer. Tori tried not to move, but that was impossible when Jade's hand reached for her side.
"Vega, Vega." Jade shook and Tori acted as if rudely woken up.
"I told you," She said groggily, "This room, off limits." She faced the tattooed girl who didn't seem to be listening at all. "Jade!" Tori screamed but Jade simply looked her in the eye. Her fingers trailed up Tori's arm and made their way to her face. Tori doesn't react, she simply stayed there, watching her.
"Hmm?" Jade's fingers moved to the crook of Tori's neck, exposing her bare skin, traces of their love making still etched on it. "You bruise easily," She mocked, ghosting her fingertips on the purple marks. "Do you know that, Vega?" She smiled her Cheshire smile, and you cringe. How could a smile so beautiful have such morbid meaning?
"Fine," Tori stayed strong, sitting up as she brought her pillows with her. She made her way outside when Jade stood up to follow, grabbing the back of her shirt and when Tori looked back at her, the Latina simply stated, "I'm staying on the couch if you insist on staying on the damn bed."
"No, look, wait." Jade pulled on the fabric once more, "No funny business. Just sleep." She promised and Tori rolled her eyes because she said the exact same thing every night. She even demonstrated and lay on top of the bed, above the covers with arms folded neatly and hands on top of each other as she pouted. Tori let out a groan, a whine, and rolled her eyes again. Figuring that it would be easier to sleep on her own bed than the sofa, she retreated next to Jade, but unlike her, she went under the covers.
"I swear to God, Jade. I'm dragging you out if something starts happening." Tori threatened, and it actually felt good even though those words were just empty and hollow.
"Scared, Vega." Jade mocked when she retreated to the solace of Tori's space on the bed, taking note of the demarcation line between them.
A few minutes had passed and Tori thought Jade was going to stay true to her word when the latter shifted from her position so she was lying on her stomach. Tori felt her inch closer yet she still didn't move so Jade would think she was asleep… again, but there was no use fooling Jade—she was the illusion herself.
The next thing is unexpected—as it always was with her—Jade played with Tori's hair and she was quite amused. She bounced it here and there and laughed at how whimsical it was to have perfect, bouncy hair even in the middle of the night. Tori thought it was cute (and bearable) so nothing was done about it. Jade rolled on her back again and Tori knew somehow that she was staring at the ceiling as she drummed her fingers on top of each other. Jade let out a sigh and Tori did the same. Jade couldn't sleep, and neither could Tori.
The next thing Tori knew was that Jade's hand ghosted the fabric of Tori's shirt, tugging the Latina closer to her. Her forehead connected with Tori's back and Jade began to cry. Tori's brows knit in frustration. Jade West-Oliver did not cry, especially not in front of anyone. But maybe, just maybe, Tori wasn't just anyone to her.
"What's wrong?" Tori surrendered the fight her heart had long lost to her brain.
The Latina rolls over to face her companion and Jade hides her face in her chest, her arm snaking around Tori's waist. The tanner girl lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes again. But she gently strokes Jade's hair just like she did with hers moments ago.
It's just stillness now. Two forms perfectly molded into each other. Tori doesn't suppose this is so bad, but she wonders what got Jade all bipolar and dizzy in the head. One second she's screaming sexual innuendos in Tori's face, another she's burying her face in Tori's clothes.
Jade gets up and Tori simply stares at her, hands finding a way to Tori's sides, and she's suddenly on top of Tori, staring her down with tear-stained eyes. Tori let this happen, she's letting this happen and she doesn't know why. Maybe Jade needs to feel loved, but being who she is– Jade West-Oliver, she doesn't need much or a lot to feel it. People worship the ground she walked on, and Tori was definitely on top of that list.
Jade is leaning forward-a bit further than before-and kisses Tori's bruise. The Latina tilted her head so Jade would have more access to her exposed neck, and suddenly Tori doesn't care anymore.
Her knee finds the spot between Tori's thighs and settles themselves there. As kisses grow hurried, hungrier than the last and hands pin Tori's wrists down Tori notices that she's immobilized, not like she was going to move anyways, she was going to submit to her, and they both knew it. Jade's tongue darts in Tori's mouth and captures her in a torrid kiss. Tori responds just as vigorously and Jade's hands move to her face as Tori's tangles in her hair. Tori wants this, Jade needs this and it's all so beautifully sick and twisted and not to mention wrong.
She's married to Beck. Beck Oliver, your friend.
The thought haunts Tori and she stops just as her fingers were at the hem of Jade's tank top. She pulls it back down and circles her arms around Jade's waist. She couldn't do this, and she had to let Jade know.
"What's wrong?" Jade's picking at some loose string of Tori's cotton blouse. She sees the lust in Jade's eyes.
Tori looks away, "Get off me."
"Tori…" Jade begins, she screams at her –
"I mean it, Jade."
The paler girl rolls off of Tori and settles lying down beside her. Both are facing the ceiling and now no one's sure where things are going. But with Jade, Tori was always are unsure. She looks at her and tries to remember every curve, crook, angle, and texture of her face because she decides to give her an ultimatum.
"I love you." Tori says with her most genuine smile. Apparently, Jade already knows this and she has been waiting for her to say it. "God damn it, Jade I love you." She says again and it actually feels good now it's bursting out of Tori's lungs. Jade loves it all the more as she faces her. Now both of them were staring at each other, faces inches apart.
"But you're not mine." Tori's hand rises and her fingertips ghosts Jade's porcelain cheek, "Not mine." She reiterates, hoping it would be less true if she said it like a mantra.
It, however, won't.
"Then marry me." Jade says. Tori wants to say yes, but there's a little thing called: She already is.