AN: For the monthly challenge at LawlClan. Prompts: some random (really pretty) quote, "haunting eclipse", "Seven continents, 196 countries and five oceans, and I had the luck to meet you".
Thanks for reading.
Déjà vu
Surprises were all part of the game. Who would discover her? Would they adopt her, as Clan cats usually did, or would they be the sort to drive away a useless mouth? Would they be interesting enough for her to stick around, or would she end up trying her luck elsewhere?
The traveler would wait and see.
1
She had been scraping out the dried moss in the elders' den when it happened—but the cries of confusion drew her outside, where she too could look up at the sky.
"Larkpaw!" Lilypaw collided into her, knocking them both onto the ground. The white she-cat didn't even bother untangling the mess; she lifted her eyes skyward and meowed wonderingly, "Isn't that amazing?"
"Not really. Now get off me."
Lilypaw complied grudgingly, allowing Larkpaw to shake the dust from her ginger fur. "But it has to mean something, right?" Lilypaw bubbled excitedly. "Is it a message from StarClan? Come on, you can tell me!"
She was so annoying, so nosy—but Larkpaw could never say that out loud. They weren't even close; they had barely ever spoken to each other before today. "I keep telling you, StarClan wouldn't send messages to a medicine cat apprentice." Larkpaw sighed. "Besides, you're louder than a mockingbird. You'd never be able to keep anything quiet."
"Laaarkpaw!"
The darkness was starting to recede; the sun was, slowly but surely, shedding its black cloak. "It's just an eclipse. It's completely natural—"
Larkpaw froze.
"Something wrong?"
"I—I have to go," Larkpaw stammered. She didn't dare risk meeting Lilypaw's eyes. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
She disappeared into the forest, and never returned.
The next sun, the dawn patrol would find her broken and lifeless body, stiffening at the edge of their territory.
5
"Larkpaw!"
"What—"
Her best friend Lilypaw had rushed into the elders' den, panting. Larkpaw flicked her ear in annoyance. "Don't you have warrior training to get to, Lilypaw? Stop wasting time—"
"Time, there is no time! You have to come with me!"
Larkpaw studied Lilypaw's eyes. The panic in them was real. "Okay. But it better be important."
"It is," Lilypaw reassured her. "Trust me."
They were well into the forest when everything was suddenly plunged into darkness. Larkpaw looked up at the sky. "An eclipse? That's odd—"
"D-Do you think it means anything?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"Because—"
Larkpaw froze. Horror spread over her face.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing."
Lilypaw sighed in relief. "Alright then. Come on, I have to show you something."
She padded on, her heart pounding. Had it worked? Had she changed the past? If she turned right now, would she see Larkpaw still following, with that same annoyed look on her face?
Lilypaw turned, and saw that Larkpaw had long disappeared.
25
"Lilyheart?"
"Follow me, Larkpaw. Now. That's an order."
Larkpaw didn't understand—Lilyheart had been a strange cat since the day they had discovered her as a kit, abandoned in the forest. Ever since the Clan adopted her, her skills as a warrior and capability as a leader were quickly recognized; she had earned her warrior name in a single moon and her deputyship not long after. What did she want with Larkpaw?
Either way, she couldn't refuse NightClan's deputy. "Alright." She dropped the moss she had been holding.
Lilyheart was young enough that the two she-cats were of similar size, but she set a much faster pace; it wasn't long before Larkpaw felt the tiredness in her legs. "L-Lilyheart? Where are we going?"
"It's not much farther."
The eclipse. The vision of death.
"Larkpaw?"
Larkpaw froze, and was about to flee—but this time, the twenty-fifth time, Lilyheart pounced and pinned Larkpaw to the ground. "Tell me," she snarled, "tell me what's wrong! What happened just now?"
Larkpaw trembled, unable to hold Lilyheart's fiery gaze. "It's nothing."
"Liar!"
Larkpaw's eyes widened in shock. "I know what you're going to do!" Lilyheart hissed. "Why? Why would you kill yourself, Larkpaw?"
"H-How do you know that?"
"You don't have to do this," Lilyheart pleaded, desperation creeping into her voice. "Everything—becoming a warrior, becoming deputy, distancing myself from you… don't tell me it's going to be for nothing!"
Larkpaw looked away. "I saw a vision."
"And?"
How could she describe the flash of red, the pungent stench of blood as she watched an entire Clan get slaughtered? "I saw the death of NightClan. I saw your death. I saw everything. And… and it was all my fault."
Lilyheart's claws dug into Larkpaw's fur. "Don't give me that foxdung! The future isn't set in stone; I'm proof of it!"
"But I can't let you die."
I can't let you die either.
They stayed there for a while—Lilyheart glaring at Larkpaw, and Larkpaw continuously avoiding her gaze. "Promise me," Lilyheart hissed through her teeth, "promise me you won't die. You're not alone, you don't have to try and fix everything by yourself, why can't you see that?"
"…I promise."
"Truly?"
"Truly."
Lilyheart gingerly stepped off of the medicine cat apprentice. "Come on," Lilyheart meowed quietly. "The Clan will be wondering where we are." This time Lilyheart made sure to have Larkpaw walk in front of her, so she could catch her from bolting again. She didn't even let Larkpaw out of her sight once; she insisted on escorting Larkpaw at all times. No one really understood—but Lilyheart had spent her entire life preparing for the moment when her prestige within NightClan would be needed. The Clan may not have understood, but they knew better than to question her.
Only when night fell did Lilyheart dare let herself rest. Was this it? Was the cycle finally over? Sleep—finally, restful sleep.
When she woke, Larkpaw was gone—again.
48
The eclipse. The vision.
"I have to go—"
"Larkpaw." The medicine cat apprentice stopped in her tracks, and reluctantly turned. "I love you."
Embarrassment made Larkpaw's fur stand on end. But it didn't last long. She cherished the time she spent with Lilypaw, but for her friend's sake, Larkpaw had to do this. "Y-You're not making any sense, Lilypaw. I really have to go."
Lilypaw didn't try to stop her.
55
"I hate you! I don't care if you go kill yourself anymore. I hate you!"
Larkpaw stopped and turned, as she always did, every single iteration of this scenario. This time, she only smiled sadly. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Lilypaw."
Come back, I didn't mean any of it.
But she knew—from fifty four times of trying and failing, she knew—that Larkpaw would never come back.
60
Larkpaw could be creative with the manner she brought about her death. It hadn't taken Lilypaw long to figure that out. Sometimes the Clan found Larkpaw's body before Lilypaw could. Sometimes it was the other way around. Sometimes Larkpaw ran off during the eclipse, sometimes after.
Every time, Larkpaw died.
This time the Clan had discovered Larkpaw at the bottom of a creek. Her waterlogged body was resting in the camp clearing, where her Clanmates could mourn.
Lilypaw was tired of mourning, and tired of trying.
What a fool she had been! She kept diving, falling backwards in time to save Larkpaw; she started her life over from the day she was discovered by NightClan, the day she first met Larkkit. During the first iteration, they hadn't even been friends. But then Lilypaw relived their lives up until the day of the eclipse, over and over, getting closer to Larkpaw to figure out the cause to change the effect. And when the fated day arrived the parting was all the more painful.
She could always stop trying.
But she couldn't. She couldn't continue on, knowing that somewhere, sometime, there was a cause. She'd live her life over and over to find it, and change the future.
Because the traveler—the cat who could leap through time, who had gone through countless lifetimes and countless Clans—had finally met someone she could live for.
End
AN: So I thought this ended up a bit too S;G (curse you, good anime) but the idea was inspired mostly by a visual novel I recently played through, where no matter what decision you make, a main character will die. Players, including myself, would reload the game again and again, choosing different dialogue options and making different choices - but it wasn't the fault of the player; it's a tragedy, a death that comes about because of something inherent to that character.
So yeah. :D Thanks, as always, for reading.