Yeah, blah.
It's short like everything I write.
A little something about Buffy's death and her return.

Shadows and Silence


I am darkness.
I am not the darkness of evil, not despair or hate. I am the darkness that has chosen me, a shadow in the night, a hand that deals pain and names it justice.
I thought that I knew evil, I thought that it could be distinguished as easily as night and day, but somehow the moonlight can shine brighter than the day. The night with its million tiny lights that glow like suns, and the day can be dark. A day clouded by mist and rain with a dampening sadness.
I thought that I had seen the light, pretended that there was peace, but I know that the songs of heaven are my illusion of death. I know that, that place was never to be my resting-place. It was silence.
The winds would swirl around my mind and I would make the faceless sound into golden fields and flowing rivers. I would hear the call of life and ignore the desperation behind the whispers.
There never was any light, not until I opened my eyes in the hell of my world and saw the stars once again.
I am dead, as I am alive. Broken, as I am whole.
Then what am I?
The people here are not those that I left behind. They are falling, stronger and in that strength they drown. I stand with eyes that are both old and new and watch as they tie their nooses and climb the height. I won't wait for them to jump, if they want what I have seen, then I will show it to them.
I was never here to protect them, the watcher, the witches, the human, the demon, the key or the vampire.
They all have the darkness of human nature, they all know the taste of blood and the flavour of death, syrupy sweet with a burst of adrenaline. They are all the hunters and I am the Slayer.
Who is it I am supposed to Slay?
I am fates toy and death's whore, and I crave it all, the fight, the strength, the end. Sweat and blood with the pretence of goodness. I would laugh if my throat weren't so raw from the tears.
Yes, I am darkness, and I have watched the angels cry for me.
Now I start again, awakened from my grave, separated from my silence, into the arms of this Earth bound hell.
I see only grey in this world that is no longer bright, and so, I choose darkness.