Title: Prince of Dodgeball
Author: exwaiz
Warning: The main story is pretty much pairing-free. But the omake has shounen-ai in the form of TezukaxAtobe and Golden Pair-ness.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Note: Emi's prompt and Mei's title. And my insanity.

XxX

Inui wanted to try out a different method for practice. Oishi should have known better. He should have turned it down gently or something. Unfortunately, he trusted Inui's judgment. The same Inui who came up with the dreaded Aozu, Akazu, Penal Tea and about a hundred of other concoctions that would have made any ordinary person fall over and die.

Someone should have reminded Oishi that Inui possessed a certain sadistic streak. Of course, the one person who actually remembered just happened to be Fuji. And he was more interested in what Inui had in plan than the actual suffering that others might go through.

So there they were, borrowing the gym for the afternoon. The concept of dodgeball wasn't lost with the other members. They knew what was going to happen. They just didn't like it very much. They didn't like the fact that they didn't have an actual dodgeball ball to use. A basketball to the face wasn't something that anyone would want to experience.

Unfortunately, the other balls that they could have used were tennis balls and Inui weren't considering them as options.

That was how the Seigaku tennis team found themselves that day, divided in two teams with two basketballs between them, playing Inui's version of dodgeball.

XxX

The two teams were certainly strange. It seemed as if Inui just scribbled a bunch of names somewhere and picked them randomly. Each team had seven players.

Fuji, Momoshiro, Kaidoh, Katsuo, Kachirou and two other second years were Team A. Inui, Kawamura, Eiji, Oishi, Echizen, Horio and Arai were Team B. At first Echizen thought that it was strange that there were 5 regulars in one team and only three in the other. He didn't think much of it, however, when the game started.

They all found out the hard way that Fuji's talents did not stop with schoolwork, photography and tennis. His throws were accurate. He was certainly efficient, taking out Kawamura and Arai in one go. And Oishi...

Wait a minute? KAWAMURA, ARAI AND OISHI?

"Inui-senpai, is that legal?" Ryoma asked, pointing at Fuji and the basket of balls that seemed to have materialized out of nowhere. Inui fixed his glasses, all the while dodging a stray ball.

"I'm not quite sure."

"You're not sure?"

"Well, this IS my first time playing this game." Confessed Inui, eliciting a groan out of Ryoma.

"Well do something!" Hissed Horio who, moments ago, had hit the floor when a particularly vicious ball had been sent his way, courtesy of Katsuo no less!

"Why are you guys playing, anyway? You're not even regulars?" Eiji asked, hopping easily from side to side. He wore a huge grin on his face, egging the other team on.

"Inui-senpai picked our names!" Protested Horio.

"Tsch. Ok, that's it!" Growled Ryoma, picking up a misfire ball that one of the second years tossed his way and then tossing it back, smacking the same second year in the back. The older boy went down with a thud.

"Yeah! Great job ochibi!" Exclaimed Eiji, following Ryoma's example. In a blink, the only other second year non-regular was out of the game.

Inui picked up one of the balls just as Ryoma threw Katsuo out of the game. "Chances of taking out Kachirou out of the game...95." With that, he threw the ball across the gym. Kachirou, however, ducked just in time. The ball rolled away, stopping only when it hit the wall.

"Hmm. Strange. It should have hit him." Muttered Inui, pulling out his notebook. He looked through it, not watching the game at all.

"Inui-senpai!" Croaked Horio. "Look out!"

Too late.

Inui fell with a thud. Ryoma would rush and help, but he was too busy avoiding Fuji's balls. The Seigaku genius was smiling serenely even as he hurled the balls at both Ryoma and Eiji, the only two left. But while all this was going on, Kaidoh, despite being on the other team, rushed over to help Inui.

Only to stand face to face with Horio.

OK, not quite face-to-face, because Horio is a head shorter than the viper. But the two looked determined, even if Horio did look close to pissing his pants and Kaidoh kept hissing at him.

"Fssh!"

"I-I can take you on, Kaidoh-senpai!"

"Fssssh!" Dream on, shrimp.

Smack

THUD.

Ryoma groaned. "They cancelled each other out." Momoshiro winced.

"That's gotta hurt. That annoying viper's going to have to wear his bandana in class too."

"I didn't know Horio can aim so high." Remarked Fuji.

"Nyan...is that going to be permanent?" Asked Eiji, pointing at the big bump on Kaidoh's forehead.

"I don't know." Momoshiro said. Eiji leaned closer. Ryoma, who stood a couple of feet away looked to the side where one of the second years was finally gaining consciousness. He was so distracted that he didn't notice the ball until it connected to his head.

THUD.

And Seigaku's boy wonder crumpled to the ground, dead to the world.

"OCHIBI!" Cried out Eiji. Betrayal shone in his eyes as he dashed to the side to grab two balls near Horio's body. "You'll pay for that!" He threw them at the two players left. Momo couldn't dodge it, startled as he was. The other ball missed Fuji by a good five feet.

"Got y-"

Fuji chuckled softly, holding the last basketball. "Ah. It seems as if I've won." He said cheerfully.

Lesson? Dodgeball is dangerous. Especially when Fuji is playing.

XxX

Seigaku's fallen team glared at the tennis genius as he packed his things and headed home.

"We should poison his drink." Muttered Eiji.

"Make him drink Aozu." Momoshiro said, nodding.

"He's immune to that now." Ryoma pointed out, nursing the bump on his head.

"Lock him in a room with that Hanamura-sensei?"

"He might kill her instead."

"Let's dye his hair while he's sleeping!" Exclaimed Eiji, excited all of a sudden.

"He's a light sleeper, he'd be up before you even get close." Muttered Ryoma.

"Oh? And how would you know, ochibi?" Eiji leered at him. Ryoma, however, merely stared back with disinterest.

"I have an idea." Inui said, closing his notebook. "But I do believe that there is a 98.7 chance that he will try and murder someone from our team if we proceed."

"What is it?" Inui's answer was a videotape. Ryoma, closest to him, caught a glimpse of the title and winced. Yes, they would definitely die if they carry out this plan. After all, Fuji is terribly protective of his brother and a video of his brother and a certain St. Rudolph manager might push Fuji's sadist level to overkill.

Then again, Ryoma liked a good challenge.

O.M.A.K.E

Tezuka knew that Seigaku would be fine under Oishi's care. He trusted his vice-captain and trust was an important matter for Tezuka Kunimitsu. Of course, to be fair, anything and everything is an important matter for Tezuka, but that's beside the point.

After his rather long break from the world of tennis in order to recuperate from his strenuous injury, he was ready to take back the reins of his team. He was rather enthusiastic, actually--on the inside of course, because Tezuka couldn't outwardly show any feelings, being the brick wall that he was--it had been a while since he played real tennis.

He would have been even more so if his boyfriend had not appeared out of nowhere and decided to take him home. As if he were some invalid. Which, of course, he wasn't. But Atobe Keigo insisted and when Atobe insists on something...well, it can get ugly. So Tezuka nodded his head like the whipped good boyfriend that he was and followed Atobe.

In hindsight, he should have known something was going on. After all, there was a lack of players on the courts. It was completely empty. And then there were the noises and cries of horror coming from the gym.

Atobe, intrigued, walked faster than Tezuka did. Tezuka chose to walk slowly behind because his captain-sense was tingling. Not to mention his eyebrow was twitching slightly, which was a sign of approaching danger. He considered warning Atobe for a moment, but by that time his boyfriend had thrown open the door.

And while Atobe had expected a grandiose reaction to his dramatic entrance, he didn't quite expect a basketball being hurled at him. Unfortunately for Atobe, his eyes were closed in his usual diva pose so he didn't see the ball. His boyfriend choked and caused Atobe to open his eyes and the diva was smacked in the head by a basketball.

"Oops." Fuji Syuusuke said, chuckling.

XxX

The last thing Oishi wanted to see when he woke up was a bunch of kitten-Eiji dancing around his vision. He shook his head, unconsciously crossing his eyes, but they wouldn't fade. He shook his head ever harder and slowly they began to fade. His vision was still blurry but he could make out blinking eyes and a mouth that opened wide.

"Nyaaaan! Oishiiiiiiiii!"

Gah.

When Eiji tackled him back onto the bed, he let out a strangled squawk. After his boyfriend began apologizing a mile a minute about his actions during the dodgeball game--what dodgeball game? --and how he felt bad that Oishi was hurt and that Eiji was going to hurl a basketball at Fuji's head in retaliation--Ah, so that's why his head feels like mush--and about a billion other things...

Oishi considered falling unconscious again.

But he had an Eiji clinging onto him, pouting cutely and explaining his brilliant schemes to get back at Fuji. And then the pain didn't matter anymore. So he merely chuckled at the appropriate moments, said "Mmm" at the right times and held his boyfriend closer.

He didn't remember what happened during the dodgeball match and he had a feeling that it was probably a good thing but he had an armful of Kikumaru Eiji to worry about so it didn't matter anyway.

おわり(For real this time)