Hey all! It's me again. I promise I'm still around.
It's been a weird year for me, personally. I know I have other stories to get to (specifically full moon, you'll have no doubt) but I just have a lot of feelings about Parks and Rec. And I'm giving the world the HP!AU it deserves.
So enjoy! I have a fun feeling about this one.

As far as Ron Swanson was concerned, Slytherin was just as fine of a place as any to be sorted. His entire family had been in Slytherin with the odd Hufflepuff or two thrown into the mix. And while he was a hard worker (his father had sent him to work in a lumber house over the past year, because child labor laws were truly a waste of time, and Ron was actually upset that he had to leave in order to come to school) and preferred to do things by hand, there was no denying that he could be a stubborn, antisocial git who only wanted what was good for him and him alone. So, while that Hat sat there and debated with itself about where to put the boy, the eleven year old just sat there with a stone face, not saying anything, for a grand total of four minutes and twenty-six seconds before calling out its decision of Gryffindor. That certainly made him upset, because who even wanted to be in Gryffindor? Gryffindors were simpletons who thought breakfast food was only to be eaten in the morning. But he was a Swanson and said nothing. He simply sat at the table as the sortings dragged on, his expression unreadable as he stared down at his plate. But sadly, no bacon and no eggs appeared on his place by sheer willpower from him. He'd figure out how to get food sooner or later, and if it came down to it, the boy at the end of the table looked fattening enough.

Donna Meagle, on the other hand, argued for a full minute and a half as to why she should be in Gryffindor. Being a half-blood, her only tie to this world had been through her father, and he himself had been a Lion. She had three entire arguments planned. And while the Hat listened to what she had to say, it just sighed and told her that this exact reason would be why she was better suited to be a Snake instead. The girl huffed and listened to what the Hat said, quiet for a moment before shrugging and deciding that it had been doing this for years upon years upon years, so it had to know what it was talking about. So she rose with the grace of a queen and strode over to her new seat, plopping herself down in between two older boys with no invitation whatsoever. She introduced herself immediately, and before long she had the whole table around her laughing. Maybe she did belong here, she thought, becoming more and more comfortable alongside the snakes with each passing moment.

The two were so far apart in life that it'd be crazy to think that Ron and Donna would ever become friends, let alone even talk to each other. But fate was funny that way, and when the two just so happened to be paired together in Transfiguration class, Ron had been ready to work silently and let his partner sit back, because certainly whoever they were wouldn't be capable of doing such a simple task, because this school was filled with imbeciles. He was quite proud of his vocabulary. There were certain things everyone should know, and "every synonym for 'most people'" fell under that category above woodworking but below hunting for one's own meal. He was surprised when the girl opened her book automatically, one hand on her hip and leaning against the table with the other as if she could be doing anything else right now.

"Alright Swanson, all I know about you is that you're good at this class. And I respect you for that. But I'm telling you now, I have no idea what I'm doing, so unless you want me to fail and be dragged down with me, you'll probably be doing most of the work." But the boy wasn't very intimidated. Or surprised that she knew his name. She had probably been watching the Sorting and recognised him from there. He himself hadn't bothered to pay attention. He didn't want any of them thinking he cared where they ended up. He simply raised an eyebrow, holding the girl's stare before speaking.

"Fair enough. Just know that I'm terrible at whatever class you're good at, then."

A slow grin spread over her face, which could only mean one of two things, and Ron Swanson was interested in neither of them.

"You know, I think I'm going to like you. Donna Meagle." She straightened herself and extended a hand to him, which Ron easily took and gave a firm shake. He wasn't an idiot; the boy knew how to shake hands with someone. His father had taught him early on how important a good, strong handshake was for a person, because handshakes said a lot about a person. And from he read from Donna's handshake was that she was strong, independent, and could possibly make a great acquaintance.

Donna Meagle was a terrible, terrible acquaintance.

Ron was absolutely livid. There was no way on Godric's green earth that he was going to watch a Quidditch game. Donna, with her nails painted green and silver just for the occasion, just rolled her eyes at his behavior.

"Aren't Gryffindors supposed to breathe Quidditch or whatever?"

The boy glared at her, his mouth set in a hard line. For the most, yes. Quidditch was an enjoyable pastime to either watch or participate in. But Ron refused to participate in school spirit. What was the point? He didn't even want to be here at this school, truly. There were plenty of other things he could be doing with his valuable time, such as exploring the Forbidden Forest, or fishing in the Black Lake, or figuring out how to cut down the Whomping Willow and make a set of furniture out of it.

"Besides. It could actually do you some good to get some socializing in. Come on, Ron."

"I do socialize. I go to class, I work with you and everyone else in said class. What I do with my free time is my own business."

But Donna Meagle was not one to be trifled with. She put a hand on her hip and stared the boy down, chest puffed out proudly.

"Oh, you're going to this game, Ron, even if I have to drag you by your feet."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Fine. You win. Now stop dragging me! It's demeaning! I feel like a deer carcass after a proper hunt. I should be the one hunting!"

"Mmmhmm. Next time think before you talk."

"Donna, why exactly are you sitting with me? Aren't you supposed to be sitting over there and leaving me alone?"

"Ron, you eat alone every day. I'm just trying to have breakfast with my friend."

"We are not friends. We're educational proximity partners."

The girl laughed. "Whatever you say, Swanson."

After a week, he stopped asking. The girl was going to do what she wanted. There wasn't any way in hell that anyone could be worse than Donna was.

So, yeah! That was the first chapter. I wanted to play around with Ron and Donna's dynamic. personally I never saw them together as much as I'd have liked them to be, but they're great characters on their own.
Let me know what you think. Chapter two is already in the works.
Please review, and ask me any questions you have. I'd be happy to answer them.