Edward Elric was at colon bastard's house. The couple was doing alchemy shit together. The cock struck 7pm.
"Aw shite colon, I want some food", said Ed
"I don't have nothing ye twat", say colon, looking through his alcohol filled fridge, "I has some phallic looking vegetables"
"Perfect, I can shove em up yo ass", say Ed
"Or we can make a fookin nice salad", said colon
"lol gay"
Edward was very homo so he got turned on at the thought of salad so they made salad. Colon is gay too AU.
"Aw shite that's some hot ass aubergine", Ed nom-ed
"Aw shite we ain't got no dressing", say colon sad
"I'll put ma fookin dick in it and piss in it", said Ed, whipping out his alchemy wand.
"Aw shweet, now we got cook this bitch", say Mustang, putting on his alchemy condoms. He clicked his fingers and the whOLE FUCKIN SALAD SET ALIGHT. "whoops, lol"
"Aw shite you burnt the salad you potato", say Ed
"Boo"