Chapter One:

Last night I cried, tossed, and turned

Woke up with dry eyes

My mind was racin'

Feet were pacin'

Lord help me please

Tell me what I have gotten into.

The day began the way it normally would. Ishizu climbed out of bed with weak legs and tired, bloodshot eyes. Sleep wasn't coming easy for her anymore. Not since Seto Kaiba walked into her life and into her bedroom. Of course, as was usually the case, he wasn't there anymore. Kaiba was never there to greet her by the time she woke up.

Ishizu began her normal morning routine. She went into her kitchen, pulled out a half a grapefruit from the refrigerator and a spoon, and sat down to eat. Once she had finished her sad excuse for a breakfast, she leaned her head up towards the ceiling and sighed. She would have closed her eyes, but they still stung from crying the night before. Slowly, Ishizu got up from the table, throwing the grapefruit peel in the garbage as she walked by, and made her way to the bathroom.

Surprisingly, Ishizu didn't look as bad as she felt. The only give away were her eyes that were red and crusted over with dry tears. After brushing her teeth, Ishizu disrobed, which was easy being as to how she was wrapped in a sheet, and treated herself to a long steamy shower. But no amount of soap and water could wash away her frustration and pain.

She stood in her shower, wishing that she could talk to Kaiba again, the way they used to talk. But nowadays it seemed as though he had lost all respect for her. He'd come to her when she thinks she needs it most and then leave her feeling like some kind of prostitute in the end. Even worse, it's not like she was even getting paid for it! All the payment she needed was the affection that she was giving him.

Once she was all washed and dressed, Ishizu took to cleaning her room. The task was simple enough. All she had to do was make up the bed and she would be done. Ishizu pulled all the sheets off the bed. As she gathered them in her arms, she noticed that they still held in Kaiba's scent, but she also noticed the wet mark on the pillowcase that she had cried on later. Without any more hesitation, she tossed the sheets into her laundry basket and remade her bed with clean sheets.

Ishizu scanned the room to see if there was anything else that should have been fixed before she left. That's when she spotted a belt on the floor, between her bed and the nightstand. It was Kaiba's. As she bent down to pick it up, memories of the night before flashed back into her head.

He had come over unannounced. For a fleeting moment, Ishizu almost felt happy that he had. Kaiba hadn't talked to her in days, but there he was, buttering her up with false apologies and eager contact. All she really wanted was to be able to talk to him again but Kaiba had somehow found a path around that and before she could say a word, he was already rocking on top of her. Suddenly, things were coming back. They had been through this before and it always ended the same. He would dodge all attempts at conversation until she fell asleep and then disappear into the night.

When Ishizu returned from within her own head, she realized that she was still standing in the middle of her room, holding Kaiba's belt. Her eyes started to sting again and they pleaded to let the tears fall like water from a faucet but she wouldn't let them. Once she was able to control herself again, Ishizu opened a dresser drawer and placed Kaiba's belt inside.

Ishizu had named the drawer her 'Kaiba drawer' just for kicks. So far there were two things inside; the belt she had just put in and a picture that Mokuba had taken. It was a picture of her and Kaiba's first kiss. She remembered that day too. One minute they were debating their beliefs, the next they were so consumed by each other's presence, they didn't even remember that there were other people there. The kiss couldn't have been more out of place or out of character, but it just felt so right and so true. Kaiba never looked at her or kissed her that way again. When Ishizu felt another tear forming she slammed the drawer shut. She had to get out of her house and she knew exactly where to go.

Ran my three miles to clear my mind

It always helps me out.

It's my therapy

When I'm loosin' it

Which is usually the case.

The Domino Museum. Ishizu's sanctuary. It was the one place she could go to just get away from all her problems. She loved to surround herself in familiar pieces from the land she loved so much. Ishizu took pride in her exhibit, even if her main reason for creating it was just to follow her brother into Japan and collect the cards safely. Those days now seemed so long ago.

Ishizu stayed in the Egyptian exhibit for a little over an hour before setting back for home. She was already feeling better. In fact, she decided to walk around the city a while before returning.

It wasn't a very nice day. The sky was gray and it looked like it would start raining, but Ishizu didn't mind too much. True, she wasn't a fan of the rain, but if it did, it would be something to keep her mind busy. Only a few blocks away from Kaiba corp. the rain came down, hard. Without realizing it, Ishizu immediately sought shelter at the side of a large building and tried to wait before running back to her car.

Ishizu paid no attention to the limo that had rolled up until it stopped in front of her. The window rolled down and Ishizu's stomach flopped with the sight of Kaiba looking as cold as ever. He motioned her towards him with the slightest finger movement. Ishizu didn't want to come to him but something was forcing her legs to move, removing her from her pitiful shelter.

"Stranded?" He asked in a very conservative manner.

"My car's by the museum, I'll be fine." Ishizu tried to assure him.

"Come on in. I'll give you a ride." Kaiba seemed not to hear her or not to care. Ishizu didn't want to get in with him. But then again, she didn't understand why she was getting so worked up about it. She could just walk away. She wanted to, but she didn't.

I'm on an Emotional Roller Coaster

Loving you ain't nothin' healthy

Loving you was never good for me.

But I can't get off.

Ishizu wouldn't have been so reluctant to get in the car if she believed that Kaiba would want to talk to her, but it was exactly what she feared. The second she closed the door, he was all over her.

"You were great last night." Kaiba half whispered in her ear with a self-confident grin. Ishizu could feel Kaiba's hands massaging her inner thighs. His erect dick rubbed against her legs. This wasn't what she wanted, but even still, she couldn't hold stifling a moan. As much as she hated it, his arousal was sparking her own. Kaiba quickly became more aggressive. He pulled at her dress upwards as a sign that he wanted her to hike it up. She held in another moan at the feeling of his arousal growing. She couldn't help it. She loved him and she loved the way he made her feel.

But how did he make her feel? Ishizu had to put her foot down this time. She was not a cheap thrill. She had a different kind of need that needed to be met. This kind of relationship wasn't healthy for her. Re-routing her passion into anger, Ishizu roughly pushed him away. She felt good doing it and gave him a look so that he would know how much she did.

"Well there's a look I haven't seen in a while." Kaiba somehow situated himself close to her again. "Is everything all right? Am I doing something wrong?" Ishizu's heart melted in an instant. Kaiba looked genuinely concerned about her for the first time. She wanted to scream about how much he hurt her but she couldn't. Instead, she sighed heavily and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"No, it's nothing. I'm fine now"

"Good." They rode in silence for a while until the limo came to a stop by the museum. Ishizu reached for the door but Kaiba grabbed her hand. "Hey Ishizu. I think I left a belt at your place last night, so... I may come by and pick it up."

And Kaiba did come over that night. Just when Ishizu thought things could start looking up for them again, Kaiba did what he always did. He forgot about his belt, but he took another piece of Ishizu's love for him and disappeared into the night.

Emotional Roller Coaster

Loving you ain't nothin' healthy

Loving you was never good for me.

But I can't get off.