A/N: I love finding continuities in my favorite shows, seeing where lines of dialogue parallel for specific characters. 'Have to try' is one of the parallels for Caitlin.
Have to try.
Caitlin Snow hated those words.
I have to try.
I have to try.
We have to try.
I, we – the first part didn't matter. The rest of it, though: have to try.
Have to try, have to try, HAVE TO TRY!
Caitlin had heard those words too many times in her life.
Caitlin had heard those words from too many people she cared about.
I have to try.
Ronnie – the first time she lost him.
I have to try.
Barry – the first time he took a stupid risk in her company.
We have to try.
Ronnie – the second (and final) time she lost him.
I have to try.
Barry – countless times since then, stated without care.
I have to try.
Jay – before she found out he was Zoom. When she actually cared about him.
Have to try, over and over again. Have to try. Have to try. Have to try.
Those words didn't mean 'an attempt to do something.' Not anymore. Not to Caitlin.
No. Those words meant "This is what a hero does." (Barry)
No. Those words meant "I know how to get to you, to get under your skin." (Jay)
No. Those words meant "I love you, but I have to leave you." (Ronnie)
Those words had come from the love of her life, the hero she knew as a best friend, and the villain she'd both mourned (when she lost Jay) and feared/hated (when he'd revealed himself as Zoom). They had all said them when there was some risk involved.
And every time they'd said them, Caitlin had gotten hurt.
Have to try.
She'd never thought three words could hurt her so much.
…
…
Not those three, anyway.