"No. That's a terrible idea," Flame says with the flattest tone he can take.
Ai pouts at his friend's lack of approval of his genius idea that would revolution the world yet again. Flame isn't fun to be around, he's never about going for risky and fun ideas. The most reckless he's ever done was to go on a Ferris wheel! Talk about someone who isn't about fun… Whatever, he'll convince him to do something real cool for once. He just needs to sound convincing and charismatic. It's no big deal for an advanced A.I. like he is!
"But, like, if we do that, that means someone will be watching over Takeru! That's not something you want?"
"…Hmm…" Flame rubs the bottom of his face with his fingers, almost like one of those yellow faces he sees on Kusanagi's computer sometimes in a folder called "meme shit" (in all little letters), suddenly more interested. "What makes you think that?"
"Like, if Kiku dates Takeru, that means she'll parent him everywhere they go, right? Then that means there's always gonna be someone and you won't have to watch him over all the time! Doesn't that sound super cool?!"
"It sounds like it could be a decent idea… would it not come from you."
Urgh, that guy! Always being a killjoy on main like that!
"What's the issue if it comes from me?! If it's a good idea, then it's a good idea! I'm sure even Yusaku would say so!"
"Yusaku would shut you down, wouldn't he?"
Ai pouts again. This is almost slander, he swears to the fabled Egyptian card gods.
"I just wanna have fun… Love looks so cool in animes! But I don't see Yusaku date, like, anyone ever aside from Kusanagi so… Yeah. Takeru looks like he could be the protagonist who falls in love with a pretty girl and gets on adventures with her!
"You've watched too much shojos, Ai."
"What? It's not because he plays card games that he can't go on romantic adventures with his princess and you!"
"Yeah, no. But the core idea isn't too bad, I suppose…" Flame is still hesitant, but at least, he's starting to consider the idea.
Ai's eyes draw crescents as soon as he hears this. This is beginning to work, isn't it? This is merely the beginning, the first card he summons! His Battle Phase starts now! He can't fail when he's on the good path to success!
"Plus, they're childhood friends, so it's easy! We'll just have to tinker here and there, maybe write some texts that aren't really from them and tada! They'll be sweethearts!"
"I don't think you get what love is, Ai. We're AIs, not humans."
"Oh, so that's how you wanna play it…" He smirks internally (as he doesn't have a mouth, that's a default of design on their creator's part), thinking about how much his idea will blow his friend out of the water. "Then, what's that between Earth and Aqua? Aren't they, like, totally in love?"
That gets Flame quiet for a few seconds as he thinks of it. It'd have been easier to have a program to know that instantly, but the creator has forgotten about that feature too. Too bad.
"I hate to admit this, but you've got a point there. We could ask them for some advice… I'd rather ask you than your skewed vision." Ai is about to say something but gets interrupted before he can do so. "And your fling with Roboppy doesn't count, before you ask."
"Why you gotta be like that?" He rambles under his breath instead.
"I'm just trying to figure out the best outcome of this, and this means not listening to much of your ideas. For each good one you get, we receive a hundred bad ones with the next stupider than the last."
"Now that's just mean… It's just that you never consider them entirely!"
"As I said, I'm just trying to prevent you from doing stupid things that would put us in embarrassing, avoidable situations. Nothing more, nothing less. But I should ask Earth and Aqua about this dating thing… They may know if this is the right thing to do."
Heh. No-fun Flame has missed the point entirely. He wishes he could be surprised at this, but when it involves enjoying themselves, then that wretched Fire elemental can't get a grip. It's always up to Ai to find something fun to do because Aqua is too serious for this, Earth is too serious for this, Windy is… Windy and Lighting is… Let's just say that his sense of fun would probably lead to someone getting deleted from existence, so it's better if they don't ask him. Even just thinking about it sends shivers down his spine.
"How were you planning to do that in the first place anyway?" Flame asks as he sends something to Earth. "Send them amusing videos while pretending to be the other one?"
"That sounds like a good idea!"
"You've got to be kidding me…" He mutters under his non-existent breath.
"But I was thinking of convincing them to spend some time together, with no one else, and do stuff like watch a movie together, or walk around together, or play card games together…"
"How romantic."
"I know, right?! Then they'd maybe think of doing it more often, and after some time they'd be together, they'd get married and they'd have tiny humans together!"
"Those are called children, Ai, and do I need to remind you they are only sixteen? Nobody gets married at sixteen."
"Then maybe you've got a better suggestion, huh?!"
"Not by myself," Flame once again responds with the upmost seriousness, "but Earth and Aqua may have some. Even then, Ignis customs are different from humans, so I wouldn't trust our judgement too much."
"Gee, you sound like Earth when you're like this! And, huh, what about… Being together on a Ferris wheel?"
This gets a big reaction out of the red Ignis, a shimmer appearing in his eyes as soon as he hears this. Ah, touché! He knew he had a weakness for Ferris wheels ever since he went on one when they reunited at Yusaku's high school. Plus, he also saw that in another anime, so that must mean this is what teenagers are into.
"Now we're talking… I'm going to ask Aqua about it, then tell Takeru about it… See? This is the one good idea you've had all day, and will have all day."
"So you see that I'm a genius…" Oh. "What did you mean by that?!"
There is amusement in Flame's voice. "I don't see what you mean."
"Yeah, yeah, as if…"
Being Cupid is harder than he thought, especially with Flame… Maybe he should ask Kusanagi to do it with him next time for Yusaku, it could be a fun way to meet new people and have fun too. But nothing is going to stop Ai on his quest for matchmaking his friends together! Nothing!
