Fallen One

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray Man.

Experiment I: Shinzo
My name is Shinzo. My life, consisting of 10 hellish years, is at its end.

I am finally going to die.

I have been at the Black Order for nearly all my life. Orphaned at birth, I was found by the people of Black Order when I was four years old. Somehow, I managed to live for three years before they found me. It was a miracle, they said.

Desperate for new exorcists, they used anyone who was nobody in this world as their test subjects.

Which means, me. An orphan with no relatives.

They did try to find my relatives, though. Or should I say, they pretended to find my relatives.

After two days of pathetic searching, they led me to a big room. I was not aware of what was going to happen to me.

I heard someone say, "Hevlaska, do it." Then a big creature came close to me, shortly after that, pain flared up in my body.

I screamed in pain. It felt like my body was going to be torn to pieces. The pain, something was being forced into my body but yet it resisted and was attacking me instead of my tormenter.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, that thing inside me escaped from my body. I collapsed to the floor; shivering from the wounds I felt burning in me.

Hands lifted me up and I felt myself being moved. After moving for a while, the person carrying me stopped and laid me down on something soft. I heard a door slam and people talking.

"Keep a close eye on her."

"It nearly worked, she could be compatible."

"Don't let her go anywhere."

I forced myself to open my eyes. Everything was blurring, I could not see properly. I twitched my fingers, trying to clench them together. My nerves felt melted and tangled.

I lay there for a day, just trying to get my fingers to move.

By the time I was seven years old, I had been through that same agonizing pain countless times, spending days, weeks, trying to feel human again after that.

I knew I would die soon. I was already mute and half-blind. My fate was sealed since they first found me. It was just a matter of time.

On my tenth birthday – my birthday being on the day they found me – I was brought to that big experimenting room.

I had a feeling something different would happen today. Even if I died, it wouldn't be surprising. I was mute, blind and deaf. Even if I died, nobody would care.

They got me to sit down on a chair. I waited for the expected feeling of pain.

It came shortly.

Today, as that thing – innocence, they called it - ricocheted through my body, I felt my soul following it as it smashed my organs, bones, nerves everything inside my body to bits. My mouth opened up in a silent scream followed by a wave of blood. Blood spurted out from any opening in my body. The pain in my body was growing, the worse I have ever felt and I felt my senses slip away.

I am not sure of what happened afterwards. All I could feel was that dreadful pain.

I am not even sure if I am alive.

All I know is that I am somewhere, waiting.

For what, I do not know.