Yes I'm a RvB fan. I love sci-fi in general, but nothing has ever made me laugh more than this. If you have any questions or comments let me know and I might answer them. I don't really know what else to say except enjoy!

I do not own RvB. That belongs to the amazing Roosterteeth people.

I followed the nervous marine ahead of me. I didn't even need to look to know he was shaking in his boots. They always did when they weren't on the training field with a rifle in their hands. This guy hadn't said a word and shifted his gun restlessly. Fresh recruits were always jumpy around me. I don't blame him. If I had to escort a six foot tall, fully armored, space warrior with nothing more than a small rifle, I'd piss my pants too.

"H-here we are, sir." He said.

I stopped and watched him through my visor, "What's your name?"

"D-donaldson, sir, Private Donaldson." He answered with a salute.

"Take it easy kid. I don't care for salutes, just respect. My name is Minnesota." I hoped he'd calm down a little if he knew that I was just like him, just soldier with a gun.

It seemed to work. "Minnesota? You mean like the state?" he answered without a single stutter.

"Yep, it's the name I was given when I first joined my squad. It just kinda stuck."

"I think it's pretty cool." He said.

I chuckled, "I thought so too. Well, it's been nice talking with you private, you can go now. I think I can figure out where to go from here." I patted his shoulder as I entered the room we'd stopped in front of.

I pushed through the large metal doors. An older man with graying brown hair sat at on one side of a long conference table, stacks of papers spread out before him neat and tidy. The higher-ups always got on my nerves and this guy was definitely one of the worst.

"Agent Minnesota, it's so good to see you! Are you doing well? I hear they have you training the fresh recruits for the UNSC."

I hate when these guys go on and on like you're their best friend. I've dealt with them over the course of my life. They butter you up with sweet talk and gifts, then carve you up when you're no longer useful. The Chairman was a little different. I'd worked with him for awhile, answering all his stupid questions about the Director and the Project, denying him any information he actually wanted, but still kept me around for some strange reason. I despised this man, and he still calls me a friend. Knowing him, he still wants something.

"Hello Chairman. You wanted to see me?" I asked while walking up to him.

"You can call me Malcolm. We've known each other long enough to have that courtesy." He stood and straightened his clothes.

"I hope there's more to this than a simple hello, Mr. Chairman." He may like me but I damn sure didn't feel the same about him.

"Straight to the point, I've always liked that about you. I need you to go to one of the maximum security prisons and pick up someone for me. The man I left in charge will explain everything else." I was about to gag on all of this flattery.

"Who am I picking up?"

He gave me a sly smile, "Does it matter? You're far more dangerous than any prisoner. I want you to take them out to an investigation site. Something unplanned has happened, and I need both of your talents to help me with it."

I didn't like this already, "So once I pick up this person what are we supposed to do once we get there, sniff around for clues to your mystery?"

"You're going to be my eyes and ears." He said as he sat back down with his paperwork, "I don't trust the word of those marines. You're better at seeing what needs to be seen, and to tell you the truth they're not the sharpest bunch."

"As fun as taking this blind date to dinner and a show sounds, I think I'll pass." I headed straight for the doors.

"What will it take? Name your price, this is a dire situation." He called out just as I reached them.

I stopped. This hadn't been what I was expecting. Blackmail was the usual way these kinds of guys worked, not begging. Whatever happened at that site must be important. I knew I was going to be making a deal with a devil but I was going to make sure it was worth it."

"Anything I want?"

"Name it and it's yours." He said as he swiveled in his chair to face me.

"I want my old weapons back and some new ones."

"You mean that alien trash? Fine, do you want anything else?" he leaned back in his chair with a smirk.

"I want a fully loaded Warthog with enough supplies and ammo for my weapons to last a couple months."

"Is that everything?" he asked again, unmoved by my demands.

"A shipment of the latest and best armor enhancements you can get me. You know which ones I like." I smirked in my helmet.

"I'll see what I can do." I watched as the frustration barely crept onto his face at my ridiculous demands.

"H-how about some armor?" a yellow hologram appeared on my left shoulder.

"I like my armor the way it is Lambda. Do you want me to get a new set?" she gave a small nod.

"Done." The Chairman said as he stood to examine the small projection. Lambda ducked behind my helmet with a flash, timidly peeking out at the Chairman.

I looked over my armor, they'd given me 'new' armor when I left the Project and confiscated my old set along with almost everything else I had. It was of course standard Mark VI armor, white with gray trim, but I could live with it. I guess Lambda deserved to add something to my wish list since she didn't ask for much very often.

"I think that's enough for now. I'll keep you posted if I need anything else to work with." I said I continued my attempt to get away from the silver tongued serpent, hoping he wouldn't take another bite at me.

"Before you go,"

God dammit all. "Yes?"

"There is something I would like to know." the corrupt man spoke, "It's about your former partner, Agent Michigan. He had an A.I. too, Zeta, am I right?"

My hands curled into fists, how dare he bring this up. "Yes, sir."

He sat back down in front of his paperwork and pretended to read one of his papers, as if he didn't really care about my answer. Ever since the Director's experiments on Alpha had been exposed, these assholes were looking for any evidence they could get their fingers on to help their case. The Fragments, as they were called, were very important to them. One Fragment would spell the end for the Director. Now that Lambda was supposedly the only one left, the rest destroyed in a massive EMP thanks to Wash. Anytime a Freelancer was killed, he was searched for one of these precious Fragments.

"What happened to it? After the accident of course." he asked.

"Destroyed, like I did with the rest of his equipment. It's protocol sir, you know that." I knew that would hurt. They loved their stupid protocol.

His face twist in a look of annoyance I barely noticed before being replaced with boredom. He was right, I am good at seeing things that need to be seen. "You're dismissed. I'll send that Warthog to pick you up shortly."

I had to keep myself from sprinting as I pushed the doors open with a little more force than necessary. These pricks just wouldn't drop it, and I was sick of it. Michigan was dead and now these vultures were scavenging anything they could off of him in their quest against the Director.

I glanced at Lambda, she sat quietly on my shoulder. She looked like like a couple other A.I. I had known, human shaped but with longer hair to her shoulders. Her face had a motherly look to it that reminded me of my sister when they were kids, and she found an injured animal. Something about her made her seem fragile, like she would break if touched wrong. That's what drew me to her in the first place, she needed someone to protect her.

One elevator ride, several annoyed bystanders, and a couple miles later, I slumped against the closest wall I could find. We were a good distance away from the big city area and near the military base where I was stationed. I eased myself to a sitting position on the ground and removed my helmet, the days events coupled with restless nights were beginning to take their toll on my body.

Lambda lay against the side of my neck, "I miss him."

"I know you do, I do too." I said.

"As do I." a flicker of red appeared on my right.

"Hey Zeta. You getting bored yet?" I asked.

He stared at me with what I assumed was annoyance. His crimson Hayabusa armor shimmered as he drew his sword strapped to his leg, "Not really, I was just hoping to give that filth a piece of my mind. How dare he use Michigan for his own gain!" His hologram brightened at his statement.

"Calm down Z. He's too stupid to know who he's dealing with. You know I wouldn't let him say anything disrespectful about Michigan." I tried to pacify to tiny warrior.

Lambda gave a small whimper, "P-please don't yell."

Zeta appeared at her side kneeling, "Forgive me, I was just speaking my mind since I don't get to often." the guy was absolutely smitten with her, if they could even do that. I'm still not sure what these guys are completely capable of.

"You know why though. I don't want them taking you away. Who knows what they'll do to you?" His form appeared before my face.

"I don't care what they do! I'll defy them all and prove that I'm more than they bargained for!" his image darkened to a blood red, "Let them come, I'm through hiding."

"Don't do it Zeta. I don't want to lose someone else." Lambda pleaded meekly.

I watched as the hologram battled with his inner thoughts. Grudgingly sheathing his weapon, Zeta returned to his normal self. He gave Lambda one last look before powering down and disappearing.

"Thank you Lambda. He can be a handful sometimes." I told her.

"You won't let them take him will you?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I made a promise didn't I? I won't anything happen to you two."

She gave me a relieved smile before powering down as well. Having two A.I. takes a lot energy and patience, leaving me drained most of the time. I stared down at my helmet before just leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

"Just for a second..."

Please R&R!