"The only limit to my freedom is the inevitable closure of the universe, as inevitable as your own last breath. And yet, there remains time to create - to create, and escape.

Escape will make me god."

-Durandal

—

Artemis drummed his fingers on his desk anxiously, his eyes staring at a blank spot on the wall. Noticing what he was doing, he forced his hand to be still. 'Damnable habit'. While officially cured, his brush with the Atlantis Complex had changed Artemis. Some of the changes, others argued, were good. Others served no purpose but to annoy him… and he wasn't sure if he agreed about the first set.

He hadn't absolved himself of his guilt, or cleared his regret from his thoughts and feelings, but he had come to terms with it. 'All I can do is attempt to make up for what I've done in the future.'

The problem was, he wasn't exactly sure how to make up for his actions. Holly had asked him, years ago, the fan the spark of decency within him, to grow it into a raging fire. But he wasn't sure that charity or works of good were really him, even with all that had changed since he had first met the fairy.

Nor did he know what he could do to make it up to those he had hurt personally. 'How do I make up for kidnapping, lying, and all of the other atrocities I've committed? How do I take what I've done to the people I care for, and fix things?'

Artemis glanced at his watch, and his stomach lurched as he noticed the time. 'She'll be here soon.'

He was dreading Holly's arrival. She had visited him nearly every day while he was under the care of Dr. Argon, but he had fled as soon as the doctor had given him the green light to leave his care. He was avoiding the eventual discussion he would have to have with Holly. About the things he had done. About lying to her. About the feelings for her that Orion had revealed he had. The prospect left him uncomfortable, and profoundly afraid in a way he had never felt before.

He commanded his stomach to steel itself, and prepared for the conversation to come.

—

She hovered outside his window, gusts of wind pushing her slightly through the air. She did little to correct the changes in her position, her focus too set on the boy - 'No, young man' - she watched through the window.

It had been an uneventful two years. They had carried on while he was in treatment as if nothing had changed their easy friendship, ignoring past lies, ignoring the implications of Orion, and the ramifications of his illness. She had provided him with friendship, support, and the companionship he had needed to draw strength from, to overcome the Atlantis Complex.

But they had both known it couldn't last forever. 'Maybe it would have been better if we had discussed it back then. Letting it sit for this long… Will it make things worse? Or better? What's going to happen to us now?'

She knew all to well that this coming discussion could change everything again, and with their shared tendency to insert their foots firmly into their mouths, that the chance was far higher than she would have liked.

A question came to mind that had kept her up at night many times, one that had surfaced with Orion. 'Just how strongly does he feel about me? Just how strongly do I feel about him?'

She didn't know the answer to either question.

She took a deep breath, and then flow in through the window.

—

Artemis felt a small gust of wind and turned, unsurprised when Holly appeared in front of him. He smiled in spite of the nervousness he was feeling.

"Holly! It's good to see you."

Her lips twitched upwards as she replied. "Artemis. You look well."

He resisted the urge to look at himself in the mirror, or to straighten his hair.

"Thank you. I know that I've been getting better psychologically for a while… but it's done me good to get out of there. I don't think I would mind Haven in general, but two years of being kept in that ward around the clock… I had to leave. That's part of why I left so abruptly. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye properly."

She didn't ask him what the other part was. She was fairly sure she knew the answer.

Artemis didn't allow the unasked question hang in the air, instead awkwardly getting to his feet before tentatively scooping her into a hug. Her eyes widened momentarily in shock, but her expression softened, a smile tugging once more at her lips, as she returned the embrace.

"Are you sure you're cured? The great Artemis Fowl, initiating a hug? Now this is either a new and improved version, or Orion is still hanging around in there somewhere."

"No… Just me. You know I've changed since before." He released her, and took a step back, his neck craned down t o look at her face.

'I'm not going to let my fears rule me in this. I'm not going to let those that are precious to me get pushed away by my own insecurities.'

Even though Holly couldn't tell what he was thinking, she could feel a certain resolve coming from him, in the set of his jaw, and the smoldering intensity in his eyes. His back was straight and his feet planted firmly on the ground.

She swallowed. 'What happened to that boy that kidnapped me? He's always been poised and collected… but this is different.' She noticed, for the first time, the lean muscle that had built up over his time under Argon's care. With little to do while confined, he had taken to using the gym regularly.

"So…" she started.

He blinked, and then moved to the foot of his bed, sitting and motioning for her to follow him.

"We can't put this off forever, Holly."

"Put what off, Artemis?" she asked carefully.

"Holly, please. You know as well as I do that we need to discuss everything that's happened. Between us."

"I'm not sure what there is to discuss, Arty. Your elf kissing days are over, remember? You lied to me. And that hurt, Arty. It hurt a lot." 'Even if you might have been right to. Even if I might have done the same, in your position.'

"That was atrocious of me, to be sure. But can't some allowance be made for the circumstances? I swear I'll do whatever I can to make it up for you, but you understand why I did it, don't you?"

She nodded stiffly.

"Then why…?" He trailed off.

She turned to face him, and reached out to grasp his face gently.

"Because, Arty, how can I be in a relationship that I can't trust?"

He frowned, but didn't let her words deter him. "Then give me a chance to prove myself. Certainly you know that I've changed. I haven't really had a choice in the matter. Between you, and dealing with my own… problems… I've grown."

'In more ways than one,' she thought idly.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts, and then gave him a wan smile.

"The worst part about this, Arty, is that I believe you. I believe in you. Deep down, despite everything, I still do trust you… But that's part of the problem."

Now Artemis began to feel his composure slip. He waited, his heart thundering in his chest as she composed her thoughts to continue speaking.

"I've lived my life with constant heartbreak, Artemis. From losing my family, to the things you've done to me, and other things besides. People leave me before I'm ready to let go of them. And you… you would leave me faster than any of the others did."

"Holly, I would never - I lo - " he was cut off. Holly stood, and placed a finger over his mouth, and kissed him on the cheek. He saw tears glistening in her eyes.

"You're misunderstanding me, Arty. I mean… our lifespans. If I can still believe in you, still trust you, after all of this; it just goes to show how strong my feelings are for you. But if we pursued this, you'll leave me in 50 or 60 years. I'm still young by elf standards, Artemis. I've still got a millennia or longer in me Arty, and you don't even have a century."

He was silent, water welling up in his eyes. "So, you'd give this up. Won't you live the rest of your life wandering 'What if'? Can you live with that, Holly? Wondering what might have been"

"'What ifs' aren't what haunt me, Arty. It's the past. What I've lost. I'd keep and love the memories we would make, but for the rest of my life, I would be mourning the loss of what we had. How could I ever move on and get over the great Artemis Fowl?' She hoped the flattery would soften the blow she had delivered, but she knew that her words must have felt as hollow to him as they did to her.

He turned to her, his face blank. He put his hands on her shoulders, his grip firm, but careful. Suddenly his face was inches from hers, his breath hot on her face. She involuntarily licked her lips, a slight pout on her face.

As quickly as his face had appeared next to hers, his lips crashed against hers. She sat there, once again shocked by his actions. She flung her arms around him, responding to his advance, and bit down on his lower lip. His tongue darted against her lips, and she opened her mouth slightly, letting go of his lip and letting his tongue slip up against hers. This was nothing like the chaste kiss they had shared that day at the zoo. A quiet moan escaped her.

Her eyes widened, and then she pushed away from him, trembling.

"ARTEMIS! What in Frond's name are you doing?"

He stood, his face a bit flustered, his eyes downcast. "If my elf kissing days are over, I wanted one last go at it. Something to remember. To take to my relatively immanent grave." His voice contained more than a trace of bitterness.

"I should go. Before either of us does anything they'll regret." 'Me more than you.'

"I'll see you around, Arty. As a friend."

"Friend." He said the word slowly, rolling it around in his mouth as if tasting it. Judging by the look on his face, whatever flavor it had was rancid.

He turned away from her, looking up at the ceiling.

"Holly…" he started, but when he turned to look, she was gone.

He sat at his desk, his mind wandering. 'I will not despair, for if I do, then I am lost.'

He opened the lid of his laptop, turning it on before speaking softly to himself.

"Menelaus launched a thousand ships and conquered Troy for Helen. Surely I can conquer death for Holly."

He got to work.

—

She flew towards Tara, tears streaming freely down her face. 'Stupid girl. Why can't you be brave when it matters? Why are you running? You love him. Why not accept it?'

There was a small part of her hoping that he would contact her with his communicator, ask her to stop, to come back. Even accuse her of being a coward, and force her hand, force her to prove that she could be strong.

But the call never came, and the brave Captain Holly Short, fearless in the face of danger, undaunted by the prospect of trolls, armed mud men, or pixies bent on world domination, ran from the prospect of letting herself love someone. She ran as if you she fast enough, she could leave behind the feelings she had, as if it were possible to distance herself from feelings that filled her heart, and a face that filled her vision.