A/N: Sooo this was a drabble generator or some shit from a website. Don't like, don't read. But its funny as hell, just sayin.
On top of the roof, Derek fucked his park bench. He had been busy with the park bench for hours and now wanted nothing more than a mysterious cuddle or a cheeky massage from his lover Stiles.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his cocky Stiles appeared at the door, grinning huskily.
"Put down the park bench," Stiles said thoughtfully. "Unless you want me to fuck that park bench on your penis."
Derek put down the park bench. He was bitchy. He had never seen Stiles so genius before and it made him lucky.
Stiles picked up the park bench, then withdrew a shower from his ass. "Don't be so bitchy," Stiles said with a genius grimace. "A werewolf bit my mouth this morning, and everything became brave. Now with this park bench and this shower I can thoughtfully rule the world!"
Derek clutched his thoughtful mouth secretively. This was his lover, his cocky Stiles, now staring at him with a genius ass.
"Fight it!" Derek shouted. "The werewolf just wants the park bench for his own cocky devices! He doesn't love you, not the mysterious way I do!"
Derek could see Stiles trembling secretively. Derek reached out his penis and touched Stiles's ass thoughtfully. He was cocky, so cocky, but he knew only his thoughtful love for Stiles would break the werewolf's spell.
Sure enough, Stiles dropped the park bench with a thunk. "Oh, Derek," he squealed. "I'm so mysterious, can you ever forgive me?"
But Derek had already moved on top of the roof. Let me count my loves of thee, my rose garden, my heart, my fixed mark, my beginning and my end., he pressed his penis into Stiles's ass. And as they fell together in a brave fit of love, the park bench lay on the floor, lucky and forgotten.