Naruto was heart-broken, quiet and reserved from the first time Kakashi could remember. The boy did not talk, he did not smile, he showed no enthusiasm, none of his vibrancy; everything about him seemed to have fallen. It was a terrible thing to have happed to Naruto, and it affected everyone.
Kakashi had been watching. He always watched over Naruto, the legacy of his former Master. He saw the forced smiles, the effort put into his laughter; he also saw the lack of shine, the dullness in his eyes. It broke his heart to see the once enthusiastic boy fall so far.
It was a quick descent with a slippery climb back up, and he had been falling for a while. Sure he had made several jumps upward, keeping him from hitting rock bottom. But this last blow, it was too much. This was rock bottom.
You feel like a candle, in a hurricane. Just like a picture with a broken frame. Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight; but you'll be alright. If only he could convince Naruto of that. The one time everyone thought he could do something, the one time there was something he could do, he gave up.
They had all talked to him, everyone who had ever had any interaction with Naruto had talked to him; but it was like he could not hear them. Naruto would nod to them, give the forced smile and watch them walking away believing they had achieved something, and then his face fell again; and each time, it fell a little lower.
Kakashi had tried talking to him; he had been one of the first, and one of the multiple repeaters. Naruto had done little to show that he ever heard or saw him, there was little improvement in his condition—barely enough to even say there was improvement. Nothing was getting through to the boy.
Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of. You might bend till you break, cause it's all you can take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough; you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off. Then you stand.
"Kakashi-sensei, what's the point?" the boy had asked him one day.
"Point?"
"We do all this stuff to save people, to protect ourselves, and we still get hurt. We still feel pain, we still hurt at the loss. Why do we set ourselves up for that?" he asked staring at the ground, his face listless.
Kakashi sighed, folding his hands and leaning forward. How to respond to his question? He had lost people. He had felt the pain Naruto spoke of. No, that wasn't true. He would never know the same pain as Naruto; Naruto had suffered so much from so many places, there was no way Kakashi could ever know what the boy was going through.
"I think it's better to feel the pain than to feel nothing at all. It proves we're still human." Naruto looked up then, a small spark in his eyes. Had he finally gotten through to him?
"I don't want to feel anything anymore," Naruto whispered turning back to the ground. "I don't want to feel the hurt in loss, anger at people, sorrow," he stopped suddenly, his fists clenched tightly. "I don't want to feel anything!"
What now? How could he respond to something like that? Tell him it will pass? He knew that, this was not his first hurt, but he still wanted to give up. How could he convince him that there was still need; that feeling the hurt made you better, stronger?
"I try, and I try, and I get—I don't get anything!" he spoke with tears welling in his eyes, "First Sasuke and now this!"
"Naruto, I know what you're going through." Kakashi laid his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I lost my friend, I lost my Sensei, you have to feel this pain; that's how you grow and get stronger. You have to fight through it, if you just give up it will be an insult to everything else you've done; an insult to your dream!"
"Dream," Naruto laughed. "How can I be Hokage when I can't even save Sasuke?"
"It hasn't happened yet, but it still could. You're young, and you're strong."
Life's like a novel, with the end ripped out; the edge of a canyon, with only one-way down. Take what you're given, before it's gone, and start holding on; keep holding on.
"If you just give up, then what was the point in all that training? Why waste all that time training with him?"
"That was before, now I'm alone. I can't fight them on my own! I can't control the nine-tails! I don't know how to fight them! And I don't know how to find Sasuke! I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know anything about this! I don't have anything now, not without the Pervy Sage!"
He had stormed away after that, leaving the jonin in a sense of helplessness he had not felt for many years. The depression was deep, and Naruto had fallen hard and fast.
How much more could he take before it was too much? How much farther could the boy fall before it was impossible to recover? How long until it became impossible to climb back out?
How could he help the boy?
Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made. You might bend till you break, cause it's all you can take; on your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off; then you stand.
It was a few days before Kakashi saw Naruto again, he had been called to duty and unfortunately had to leave his suffering student alone. When he returned to boy was in better spirits, his smile had returned, the laughter no longer forced. But his eyes were still lifeless, he still felt the pain; he was still suffering.
It would be a long road back, but he had started, he was climbing out of the depression. He smiled up Kakashi, it wasn't forced, it wasn't strained; it was Naruto.
Every time you get up, and get back in the race; one more small piece of you starts to fall into place. Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made. You might bend till you break, cause it's all you can take; on your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off; then you stand.
"Thanks Kakashi-sensei."
Then you stand.