18 March 2014
I'm So Alone
By: Catherine Bell
(Story with Tonya after Jeremy's death and little surprise no one expected.)
Tonya pulled up in front of Denise's house. It was amazing she hadn't gotten in an accident on the way over she was so upset. She still couldn't believe he was gone. Jeremy Sherwood, the love of her life, was gone forever. And now something big might happen, something that he would miss. Forever. How could she have let this happen?
"Jeremy," Tonya breathed, "We can't do this. Not here."
"Well, where else can we?" Jeremy questioned lightheartedly as they continued to undress each other. He ran over and put the 'Appointment in Progress' sign on the tent.
"Jeremy, what if someone really needs me?" asked Tonya, "More so than we need each other?"
"Then we'll have to do this quickly won't we Specialist Gabriel," said Jeremy.
Tonya knocked on Denise's door and Denise quickly answered, "I'm so alone."
Denise wrapped her arms around Tonya, her heart breaking for her. She couldn't imagine what Tonya was going through. She at least had Frank, "It's okay Tonya."
"No it's not okay," Tonya sobbed, "I can't believe I let this happen."
"Whoa, let what happen?" asked Denise quietly escorting Tonya to the couch.
Tonya looked down quietly, "I'm late."
Denise raised her eyebrows surprisingly, "As in?"
"Yeah," said Tonya.
Denise opened and closed her mouth a few times before she said, "Maybe it's just from the stress."
"No. I know it's not," said Tonya.
Jeremy and Tonya cuddled with each other for a while before she said, "Jeremy, I really have to get back to work and so do you." She began to get dressed.
"But I don't want to go back to work. I want to stay here. With you," he said.
"I know. I do too. But we have a lifetime together to cuddle with each other," said Tonya.
"We did it unprotected okay!" shouted Tonya, "I mean I wasn't planning on meeting anyone so I wasn't on birth control. And it's not exactly easy to make a condom rush in Afghanistan! I mean we only had sex once. I didn't think I would get pregnant."
Denise rubbed Tonya's back and said, "Tonya, you know as well as I do once is all it takes." Tonya nodded knowingly, "When did you take a test?"
"I haven't yet," Tonya admitted, "I'm afraid to since it's a definitive answer."
"Tonya, either way you need to find out," said Denise soothingly.
Tonya sighed and pulled the pregnancy test out of her purse, "Denise will you please stay with me?"
"Of course," said Denise as Tonya went to the bathroom. She let Denise in when she was finished.
"Now we wait two minutes to see if my life has changed forever," said Tonya. When Tonya's phone beeped, she took a deep breath and looked at the test. And for Tonya it was all a blur after she saw the plus sign on it. The next thing she knew, Denise was holding her hair back while her head was in the toilet.
"Don't fight it Tonya," said Denise, "Let it happen." Tonya rested her head against the side of the toilet as Denise stroked her clammy face, "Better."
"A little," Tonya sighed.
"Dee," shouted Frank as he entered the house.
Tonya bolted up, "Denise, we can't tell Frank that I'm pregnant right now!"
"Don't worry, I got this," said Denise, "Just wait until I say that you stopped by but you went to use the bathroom." Denise left the room and Tonya stayed there until she heard Denise say about her stopping by. She flushed the toilet one more time for good measure and went out into the living room.
"Afternoon Tonya," said Frank.
Tonya nodded and took a deep breath, "It's now or never," she thought, "Frank can I talk to Denise for a moment and then I'll tell you what's going on."
Frank nodded and left the room. Denise faced Tonya and asked, "Are you sure you want to tell him? Are you even going to keep the baby?"
"Yes," Tonya said confidently, "It's the only thing I have left of Jeremy. And it's not the baby's fault that Daddy isn't around. I'll figure out something to do and somewhere to go."
Denise nodded, "Okay. Is that why you're leaving the Army and couldn't go to the food and wine festival this weekend?"
Tonya nodded, "I've had the feeling for a while now. Frank!"
Frank came into the living room and sat in between the two girls, "What do you need to say Tonya?"
Tonya took a deep breath and stayed silent for a few moments before she said, "Frank, I'm pregnant."
Frank opened and closed his mouth a few times before asking, "Is Jeremy the father?" Tonya nodded. Frank nodded and stood up and said, "She isn't leaving Charleston until the baby's born. She'll stay with us. And we'll help her raise the child," he said to Denise.
Tonya breathed a sigh of relief. Frank was taking the news surprisingly well, "Where will I sleep?" she asked.
Frank looked around, "Well you do have a house on post right?" Tonya nodded, "How long until your contract is up?"
"Six months," said Tonya.
"I doubt they'd PCS you in the middle of a pregnancy," said Denise, "And when you have to leave post we'll help you get settled here in Charleston. Unless you want to go back home to Tampa."
"Maybe when the baby's older," said Tonya, "But not right now. Besides my Mom's going to kill me! Getting pregnant at twenty-one out of wedlock with a dead fiancée/ Baby Daddy," said Tonya in a panic.
"Ssh, Tonya it'll be okay," said Denise, "We'll make sure everything's okay. We promise."
Tonya wiped away the tears and said, "Thank you guys." She heaved a sigh and said, "I guess I'll need to schedule an ultrasound soon."
"I can take care of that tomorrow. Now it's getting late do you want to just stay here tonight?"
Tonya nodded, "Um, I guess I'll just sleep on the couch."
"Nonsense," said Frank, "Dee and I can sleep on the sofa bed. You can sleep in our bed." Denise nodded in confirmation.
"Are you sure?" asked Tonya in shock.
"Trust me, even this early on, the pregnant lady will want to sleep in a real bed. With close proximity to a bathroom," chuckled Denise.
Tonya chuckled lightly, "Okay then, thank you." Tonya showered and crawled into bed dressed in only the underwear and bra she had chosen that morning. Though she had panicked when she saw the positive pregnancy test, somehow now she was as calm as ever. She knew things were going to work out. She was not alone.
Six months later…
The moment was almost here. Tonya would soon be meeting her baby, though she didn't know whether or not she had a son or a daughter. Frank and Denise had helped with everything, including finding a house in Charleston, getting the nursery ready, and all of the medical aspects involved. And of course, Claudia Joy, Denise, Roxy, and Pamela were more than happy to help with the baby shower which had really helped her get supplies. Everything was ready.
Of course, Tonya had not expected to go into labor at 2:00 in the morning. But even though it was painful, she had managed to get through labor without any pain meds and everything was going well. She looked up at Denise and squeezed her hand she was holding, "You ready Tonya?"
Tonya took a deep breath, "Yes. I want to meet my baby. Our baby." She looked at the picture of Jeremy she always carried with her.
"Okay then, when you feel another contraction you can start pushing," said the doctor.
Tonya waited a few more minutes before she felt the now all too familiar squeezing, "Dr. Lang, I'm having a contraction."
"Okay deep breath and push," she coached.
"Good job, Tonya!" said Denise, "Keep pushing!" About half an hour later, the baby was almost there.
"I can't get this baby out," said Tonya losing hope.
"Don't worry Tonya, the baby's head is just coming into view," said Dr. Lang.
"Don't worry Tonya. You'll soon be holding your baby," said Denise. That gave Tonya the motivation she needed. Five minutes later, Tonya heard a baby, her baby, crying.
"It's a boy!" announced Dr. Lang.
"Aw, a baby boy," Tonya said happily as he was placed on her chest, "Welcome to the world little one."
Denise observed as Tonya held her baby for the first time. Denise could already see her grandson looked so much Jeremy, with his green eyes, but he had dark brown hair obviously inherited from Tonya, "You did a great job Tonya. Really great job," said Denise.
"Thank you," said Tonya tearing up.
"So any ideas on names?" asked Denise.
Tonya gazed at her son once more and then looked up at Denise, "Would I be okay if I named him after his Daddy?"
"Honey, he's your son, you can name him whatever you want," said Denise, "But I think naming after his Daddy is a great idea."
Frank knocked on the door and poked his head in the room, "Is it okay if I come in?"
"Sure," Tonya nodded. Frank came in and looked down at the baby, "Say hi to Grandpa."
"So baby boy huh?" asked Frank gazing at his grandson, "What's his name?"
Tonya looked down and realized she was not alone. She had Frank, Denise, Denise's friends, now her son, "Happy birthday Jeremy Thomas Sherwood Jr."