*NEWS BULLETIN* (circa July 20, 2014)
PLEASE READ
As you know, I have just posted the 19th chapter of A Reasonable Defence. The next chapter I post will be the 20th. (Woohoo!) It is also the 20th day of July today. And there are 20 people following this story. So, just for fun, I want to see if this story can get 200 (10 times 20) reviews before I post chapter 20. If I do get 200 reviews (right now I have 176) I'm going to give you all a special gift, from me to you. So everybody REVIEW! Oh, and as a little something extra, if this story is put on 20 more people's favourite lists before the next chapter comes out (it's on 13 favourite's lists, right now), I'll give you a bonus gift! And if I get 20 unique voters to vote on my poll (I have 19, right now), I'll give you yet one more bonus gift. And I may even give something to the 200th person who reviews, if I can think of anything. Anyways, it'll be quite the give-away if it actually ends up happening. (Which it will. I have faith in you, readers!)
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Sauron's Defense
Hi. My name is Sauron. As the villain of Lord of the Rings, I tend to get a pretty nasty rap. I'm the big Eye in the sky, always trying to kill the good guys, steal (actually, regain my rightful property is a better way of putting it) the ring, take over the world, etc. But nobody ever sees things from my point of view. How can they? After all, I'm the only one who can get on top of Barad-dur. So everyone naturally assumes I'm the monster who's causing all the problems. But that's not true, and I'd like to defend myself.
Firstly, people are always talking about how I tricked people into taking these magic rings I made and then enslaved them with them. But, seriously, if people are dumb enough to take magic rings from a guy who's supposedly been evil all his life (and, being a Maia, all my life is a really long time) they deserve to be enslaved. In fact, they already were enslaved...to their own stupidity. When I reportedly 'enslaved' them, I was simply setting them free from themselves. You may not have noticed, but you never hear the Nazgul complaining.
Secondly, no one ever thinks of how uncomfortable it is to be an Eye and nothing more. It's positively creepy! And lonely. Everybody is terrified of me except for the Mouth of Sauron, who understands part of what it's like, since he's nothing more than a mouth.
Thirdly, while everyone blames Isildur for keeping the ring, no one blames him for cutting off my hand. No one except me, that is. (Which is unfair, seeing as everyone thought it was so horrible when Gollum bit off Frodo's finger. Losing a finger is nothing compared to losing a hand, along with the rest of you, as well.) Honestly, if Isildur hadn't cut off my hand, he would never have gotten hold of the ring, much less have been able to keep it. And if he had never had the ring, then neither would have Gollum, nor Bilbo, nor Frodo, and the War of the Ring would never have happened, and thus the world would have been spared much sorrow and grief. So Isildur should have just left me alone. All the troubles of the years are his fault, not mine.
Another thing, people call me cruel for trying to kill the fellowship. Come on, this is war! Gandalf is slaying my balrogs, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are hunting my orcs, Merry and Pippin are laying siege to the tower of my servant, Sam and Frodo are trying to destroy my ring, and people want me to let them run lose through Middle Earth? That's discrimination! They should keep out of my way, if they don't want to get hurt. It's not as though I just love killing people or watching them suffer. When the Mouth died, I was as upset as the fellowship was when Boromir did. It's just that, in war, you've got to do what you've got to do.
Lastly, when you think about it, Frodo had absolutely no right to destroy my ring. I made it and it belonged to me. Isildur stole it, and then this useless hobbit gets the idea into his head to throw it into the fire. He should have returned it to me, as you return a wallet or a lost puppy to its owner.
And yet, somehow I'm always the one who gets blamed. I'm the villain, he's the hero. How fair is that? After reading my defense, I hope you will rethink your former view of me and accept me for who I am.
-Sauron, the Great Eye
P/N: If you have any ideas for other people whose defenses should be presented, let me know. I have some people...er, that is, beings lined up already, but I would appreciate more suggestions.