A/N: I really really really don't know what to say about this one but; pure boredom. I don't even remember where I heard "Alpha Kenny Body" but all I know is that I laughed my head off and soon this story developed. Err. Enjoy.
The room was quiet. Save for the sound of pencils moving over paper, but other then that, the room was very quiet. Silence drove Kenny McCormick crazy. The immortal blonde glared down at his report paper. Honestly, who gave a flying rat's ass on the mathematics of snowflakes? Snowflakes fall from the sky when it's winter, the each have their own little design and no two snowflakes were alike. The end. He learned that in 1st grade and he was sticking to it. 12th grade Physical Science could suck his balls. Though...
Kenny's eyes traveled over to his science partner. He would rather have someone else do that. Though it would take some long and hard...Kenny snickered...thinking. So plotting went Kenny's mind. The blonde tapped the end of the pencil lightly on the paper. How does one trick...
"Kenny, I swear to God you better be writing the report and not drawing boobs all over the paper." A familair voice snapped. "I hear you, you're drawing the nipples."
...Kyle Broflovski into giving some nookie? Kenny sighed and pulled the pencil away. "I wasn't. I was just thinking." He replied. And honestly, it was the truth.
"It had better be on how snowflakes have 6 branches, and how they tend to expand from a hexagonal plate which normally forms on a particle in supercooled air." Kyle's voice said lowly. Kenny made a mock shiver and twisted in his seat, turning to Kyle and trailed his pencil end on the back of his neck. "Oooh, Kyle...talk nerdy to me." he said in a husky voice. Kyle jumped, feeling chills go down his spin, he reached back and slapped the pencil away.
"Quit it, Kenny." The redhead warned. Kenny pulled his arm back before Kyle decided to break it. Kyle went right back to work. "We need to get this report done, so no more messing around." he said, and with that the room went silent again. Kenny frowned and glared back down at his paper. His eyes traveled over the empty paper, the only writing was his name in the top right corner. Kenny hummed, tilting his head reading his name. What was the name of that new song? 'If You Seek Amy.' Kenny chuckled to himself. It really didn't take Kenny long to get the song's message at all. F-u-c-k m-e. Hahaha, very clever Ms. Spears. Didn't we sacrifice you for corn, anyway? Kenny kept reading over his name. He couldn't help but wonder if the same could be done to his name. It really didn't take Kenny long to, not if he put his mind to it. Soon two words were discovered that matched perfectly for his name. Kenny covered his mouth his his hand, and shook silently with laughter. The blonde pulled his hand away as another idea formed in his head.
"Hey...Kyle?" he called out, looking over his shoulder. A annoyed groan was his reply. "What, Kenny?" Kyle asked, dropping his pencil and rubbed his head.
"I got a word trick for you." Kenny said twisting around fully. Kyle looked to him, with a puzzled look. "What?" he asked almost breathlessly as if Kenny hadn't really just didn't stop him in the middle of his work just for a word trick. Kenny only smiled back. "I got a word trick. I want to see if you can get it, since you're oh so smart."
"Augh. Whatever, Kenny. What is it?" Kyle asked, leaning on his hand and stared Kenny waiting. Kenny's smile melted into a smirk.
"Say; Alpha-Kenny-Body." he said lowly. Kyle lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Alpha Kenny body?" he repeated. Kenny nodded egarly. Kyle shook his head. "I don't get it."
Kenny motioned for Kyle to continue with his hand. "Keep sayin' it till you hear something."
Kyle blinked, now intrigued by this word trick. "Alpha Kenny body." he said. Kyle tilted his head with a curious look. "Alpha Kenny body."
Kenny's pants started to feel a bit to small.
"Alpha Kenny body, alpha Kenny body, alpha Kenny body." Kyle chanted over and over. "Kenny, I don't get it!" he snapped, hitting the back of his chair. Kenny rolled his eyes.
"Keep saying it, you're so close...you'll get it."
"Alpha Kenny body." Kyle said again. Kenny smirked again. "Who?" he asked. Kyle blinked. "Kenny?" he asked confused.
Kenny pratically jumped clear across the small distance between him and Kyle, to tackle the Jew down. "Really?" he asked excitedly. Kyle looked at Kenny with wide confused eyes. "Dude, what?"
"Say that again!" Kenny said nearly bouncing where he stood.
"....Kenny?"
"No...I mean, say the word trick again." Kenny said slowing his bouncing.
"No! What the hell am I saying, Kenny?" Kyle demanded. Kenny sighed getting annoyed himself. "You gotta say it till you get it!"
"ALPHA KENNY BODY!" Kyle shouted, standing up from his seat. Kyle's eyes grew wide and large. His cheeks took on a color that would put his hair to shame.
Kenny grinned and stepped forward practically pinning Kyle between him and the work desk. "Who?" he asked once more.
"..." Kyle's eyes darted around before narrowing at Kenny. "Kenny!" he yelled, his eyes widen again when he realized what Kenny was leading him to say. "You unbelievable son of a bitch!"
Kenny easily dodged, Kyle's flying fist. "Come on, Kyle..." he said softly, grasping Kyle's hands and held them at his sides. "You said it, and I'm here to help."
"I said nothing! You tricked me! I don't want to...to fuck you!" Kyle protested trying to wiggle his head away from Kenny's lips, that were currently attached to his neck. "Besides the report-"
"I think we deserve a break." Kenny cut in. Kyle limped slightly. "Kenny. How come you won't do any school work, but when it comes to getting me in bed, you're a fucking genious?"
Kenny shrugged and moved his hands to slip under Kyle's shirt. "Hmm, dunno. Hey...spell IHOP then say ness."
Kyle was smart this time and thought it over before saying it out loud. "No way." He growled. Kenny laughed and pressed his lips to Kyle's kissing hin before pulling away.
"I'm about to lay you, I thought it was worth a shot."
A/N: Ffft. Anyone hear the message in the word trick? Hehe, oh Kenny you sex driven blonde you, and Kyle's the one who pays. Oh yeah, sorry no lemon for you. But MAYBE if you convince me, I'll post up another chapter that's basically this one...with a lemon at the end, but I dunno. Anyway! Leave me you thoughts!