The Crossover Saga
By Stoney (stoney107@yahoo.com)
President, JoBo Enterprises Inc.
~Really Strange Legal Jazz~
Everything in this story is copyright to Nintendo, Capcom, and Sega unless otherwise noted. Why? Because they said so! So there!
JoBo Enterprises would like to state that the opinions contained herein do not reflect those of the company and any company affiliates, but are the private ones of the author. Any relations to actual characters, places and/or events are entirely coincidental, except in the case where they purposely aren't, of course. You may print this story, laugh at it, save it to your computer, make paper airplanes with it, feed it to your dog, use it for origami, tear it up, glue it back together, vandalize property with it, test it for explosives, hold toast with it, create goofy drawings on its back, jump on it, eat it, set fire to it, use it as a substitute for salad dressing, clean your ears with it, and wad it up into balls to throw at people, as long as A. You don't change the text itself, B. You don't make any money off it, and C. You DON'T use it for toilet paper. Do not try this at home (unless you really want to). Part of a complete and balanced breakfast. If product induces vomiting, consult your physician. Mind the gap. Not valid to worms, apricots and electric drills. Subject to ten percent returned funding after 60 days with mail-in rebate. Caution: Contents under pressure. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Do not operate heavy machinery while using this product. This side up. Bake at 360 degrees for 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown. If product causes eye irritation, discontinue usage by a large percentage. Void where prohibited. Not a significant source of vitamins A, C, and Z. Contents may settle during shipping. You must be age 21 or older to drink this product. "Blah" is a trademark of JoBo Enterprises Inc. and may not be reproduced without permission. Do lawyers actually go around reading these things? If not, then why the heck am I writing this?!?
(Thank you for your time and attention while reading some warped author's bizarre idea of what a legal disclaimer should look like.)
On with the story already!
Prologue
Every time something happens, something else changes.
At least, that's what all the big important scientists say, so it must be true. This occurs no matter what it is that happens. If you knock a chair over, the chair's position is changed. If rain or snow falls, things get wet. If you step on an anthill, an animal army gets wiped out. If you make goofy faces at yourself in the mirror, you begin to feel silly. If the sun sets here, it rises somewhere else. If you insult your boss at work, you either get fired or quit. If superstitious people break mirrors, their luck changes for the worse. If I write too many of these examples, you'll get annoyed and start flaming me. If a baby is born, the population increases by one. If you play two-person Solitaire, you realize you're a blithering idiot.
In the particularly twisty field of physics known as Quantum Mechanics, there is a theory called the Copenhagen Interpretation. According to it and the very, very many other theories by many different people (some of them not always entirely sane), it is possible that whenever the slightest tiny change occurs, an alternate universe is suddenly spawned that is comprised of what might have happened if you hadn't stepped on that anthill, or hadn't insulted your boss. Even the slightest tiny change in any facet of our lives can give birth to a split universe that tells one of these possibilities. And since there have always been so many things constantly changing everywhere, it's safe to say that the amount of alternate universes that have been created from our own is indescribable.
And even then, the alternate universes also contain changes. So obviously, these changes would then cause even more alternate universes to form. This universal multiplication has been happening since the Big Bang, so it's logical that somewhere there is a universe where humans never evolved from apes, or Dinosaurs never became extinct.
Since any number of changes could occur in an alternate universe (also known as "other dimensions" or "alterverses") over time that would make it different from our own, it is theoretically possible that every imaginary or fictional setting ever created by any musician, author, painter, writer, or engineer actually does exist in an alternate universe somewhere.
The implications of this are staggering. It would mean that somewhere there is a universe where Hobbits live in holes and shun adventures, or where alternate-Earth humans fly through space in the starship Enterprise, or where all human beings look like Picasso paintings, or where a beagle named Snoopy sleeps on top of his doghouse and fights the Red Baron.
It is not widely known if it is possible to bridge the multiple universes (and if it is, no one knows how to do so), but no evidence has arisen to prove that one couldn't perform such an act. So what might happen if you were suddenly taken from the universe that we know, and were plunked down into one of the alternate ones? It might happen at any time. You could just be sitting down at the breakfast table, minding your own buisiness and eating Cap'n Crunch cereal, when another universe would show up and turn your life into the equivalent of Something Not Good. What ya gonna do, when they come for you?
Would you go bonkers?
Batty?
Bananas?
Befuddled?
Bemused?
Bewildered?
Bald? Er, wait...
Or, would you adapt to the change, if only for the reason to point and laugh at the less fortunate individuals who choose one of the above?
Hmmm. Tough choice.
This is the story of two people whom this happens to. One day, they are suddenly ripped apart from everything they know and are flung into an entirely unknown world. There, they must learn to survive with the new people and places that they shall encounter, and do some pointing and laughing along the way.
One of them is named Mario. The other is Mario's brother, Luigi.
They, too, are from an alternate universe. In it, an army of mutants are at war with a peaceful race of sentient mushrooms. The mushrooms' bodies are slightly short and mostly humanoid, with faces that are fairly normal- looking save for their conspicuous lack of noses. The mushrooms are rather intelligent and capable of speech. Most of the time they speak English, though for what reason is unknown. These fungi live in a land that has become known as the Mushroom Kingdom. In this kingdom, the mushrooms (known as "Toadstools", or "Toads" for short) live happy and carefree lives under the watchful eye of their kind and caring monarch. Mario, Luigi, the monarchy's current ruler Princess Peach, and Peach's cousin Princess Daisy, are currently the only humans on the planet.
Mario works as a plumber for a living, with Luigi usually accompanying him on his jobs. They are maternal twins, and although they don't look exactly alike, their features are similar enough to give those unfamiliar with them a hard time discerning who is who. To make the job easier for most people, the brothers wear different outfits during work hours, each in that brother's favorite color; Mario's in red, Luigi's in green. They each also wear a colored cap to go with their outfits. Strangely enough, the red cap Mario wears is adorned with a white 'M' on its crown, while Luigi's green cap displays an 'L'. Both of them say that they have had these caps for as far back as their memories go. Needless to say, the caps are the most prized possessions they own.
Most of Mario's plumbing jobs come from the Princess and take place in her huge castle, so Mario and Luigi usually spend the bulk of their work time in or around there. When not on the job, The Mario Brothers (as they've come to be known) usually prefer recreating on the castle grounds or in sports tournaments held every year in the nearby Castle Town. They mostly enjoy tennis and golf, but they have been known to compete in mini-kart racing every now and then.
Unfortunately, the Mushroom Kingdom is oftentimes subject to attack by the mischievous Koopa Klan. The Koopas are a race of giant, mutated turtles with humanoid arms and legs, and they are also headed by a monarchy. Their monarch, however, is a lot less friendly; his name is Bowser, King of the Koopas. He is a giant, fire-breathing monster with near-impervious hide, standing over 10 feet tall at his full height. Bowser seems to have a certain affection for pointy objects; with a shell studded with spikes, two sharp horns atop his head, spike bracelets encircling his arms and neck, razor-edged claws on his hands and feet, and a mouth full of pointy white teeth to back it all up, the Koopa King has been a lifelong nemesis of Mario and Luigi for as far back as they can remember.
After having made several attempts to face Mario alone, Bowser decided to try a new tactic: The brothers were simply too well guarded for him to make a suitable attack directly......so why not have them come to him?
After several failed tries, Bowser managed to kidnap Princess Peach, which forced Mario to come to his castle in order to retrieve her. A furious Mario then decided to pay back the favor by destroying the entire Koopa Army on the way there. Then, when he got to the castle, he engaged Bowser in a frenzied battle, which eventually ended with Mario knocking Bowser into a deep pit, trapping him and saving the princess.
But Bowser wasn't beaten yet. He managed to climb his way out of the pit using nothing but his bare claws, and tried the same tactic again; kidnapping the princess and making Mario come to him to do battle instead of vice versa. Each time this happened, though, Mario always managed to beat Bowser back with a fury and anger that even Peach and Luigi agreed was rather unlike him.
One thing they did know for sure, though, was that Bowser was not one to surrender very easily. Again and again he tried, each time hoping to finally beat Mario in their inevitable encounter. And each time, Mario still somehow managed to drive him away. But Bowser knew that there would come a day when Mario wouldn't be so lucky. Until then, he just needed to bide his time and wait......
(Cue ominous music...)
By Stoney (stoney107@yahoo.com)
President, JoBo Enterprises Inc.
~Really Strange Legal Jazz~
Everything in this story is copyright to Nintendo, Capcom, and Sega unless otherwise noted. Why? Because they said so! So there!
JoBo Enterprises would like to state that the opinions contained herein do not reflect those of the company and any company affiliates, but are the private ones of the author. Any relations to actual characters, places and/or events are entirely coincidental, except in the case where they purposely aren't, of course. You may print this story, laugh at it, save it to your computer, make paper airplanes with it, feed it to your dog, use it for origami, tear it up, glue it back together, vandalize property with it, test it for explosives, hold toast with it, create goofy drawings on its back, jump on it, eat it, set fire to it, use it as a substitute for salad dressing, clean your ears with it, and wad it up into balls to throw at people, as long as A. You don't change the text itself, B. You don't make any money off it, and C. You DON'T use it for toilet paper. Do not try this at home (unless you really want to). Part of a complete and balanced breakfast. If product induces vomiting, consult your physician. Mind the gap. Not valid to worms, apricots and electric drills. Subject to ten percent returned funding after 60 days with mail-in rebate. Caution: Contents under pressure. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Do not operate heavy machinery while using this product. This side up. Bake at 360 degrees for 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown. If product causes eye irritation, discontinue usage by a large percentage. Void where prohibited. Not a significant source of vitamins A, C, and Z. Contents may settle during shipping. You must be age 21 or older to drink this product. "Blah" is a trademark of JoBo Enterprises Inc. and may not be reproduced without permission. Do lawyers actually go around reading these things? If not, then why the heck am I writing this?!?
(Thank you for your time and attention while reading some warped author's bizarre idea of what a legal disclaimer should look like.)
On with the story already!
Prologue
Every time something happens, something else changes.
At least, that's what all the big important scientists say, so it must be true. This occurs no matter what it is that happens. If you knock a chair over, the chair's position is changed. If rain or snow falls, things get wet. If you step on an anthill, an animal army gets wiped out. If you make goofy faces at yourself in the mirror, you begin to feel silly. If the sun sets here, it rises somewhere else. If you insult your boss at work, you either get fired or quit. If superstitious people break mirrors, their luck changes for the worse. If I write too many of these examples, you'll get annoyed and start flaming me. If a baby is born, the population increases by one. If you play two-person Solitaire, you realize you're a blithering idiot.
In the particularly twisty field of physics known as Quantum Mechanics, there is a theory called the Copenhagen Interpretation. According to it and the very, very many other theories by many different people (some of them not always entirely sane), it is possible that whenever the slightest tiny change occurs, an alternate universe is suddenly spawned that is comprised of what might have happened if you hadn't stepped on that anthill, or hadn't insulted your boss. Even the slightest tiny change in any facet of our lives can give birth to a split universe that tells one of these possibilities. And since there have always been so many things constantly changing everywhere, it's safe to say that the amount of alternate universes that have been created from our own is indescribable.
And even then, the alternate universes also contain changes. So obviously, these changes would then cause even more alternate universes to form. This universal multiplication has been happening since the Big Bang, so it's logical that somewhere there is a universe where humans never evolved from apes, or Dinosaurs never became extinct.
Since any number of changes could occur in an alternate universe (also known as "other dimensions" or "alterverses") over time that would make it different from our own, it is theoretically possible that every imaginary or fictional setting ever created by any musician, author, painter, writer, or engineer actually does exist in an alternate universe somewhere.
The implications of this are staggering. It would mean that somewhere there is a universe where Hobbits live in holes and shun adventures, or where alternate-Earth humans fly through space in the starship Enterprise, or where all human beings look like Picasso paintings, or where a beagle named Snoopy sleeps on top of his doghouse and fights the Red Baron.
It is not widely known if it is possible to bridge the multiple universes (and if it is, no one knows how to do so), but no evidence has arisen to prove that one couldn't perform such an act. So what might happen if you were suddenly taken from the universe that we know, and were plunked down into one of the alternate ones? It might happen at any time. You could just be sitting down at the breakfast table, minding your own buisiness and eating Cap'n Crunch cereal, when another universe would show up and turn your life into the equivalent of Something Not Good. What ya gonna do, when they come for you?
Would you go bonkers?
Batty?
Bananas?
Befuddled?
Bemused?
Bewildered?
Bald? Er, wait...
Or, would you adapt to the change, if only for the reason to point and laugh at the less fortunate individuals who choose one of the above?
Hmmm. Tough choice.
This is the story of two people whom this happens to. One day, they are suddenly ripped apart from everything they know and are flung into an entirely unknown world. There, they must learn to survive with the new people and places that they shall encounter, and do some pointing and laughing along the way.
One of them is named Mario. The other is Mario's brother, Luigi.
They, too, are from an alternate universe. In it, an army of mutants are at war with a peaceful race of sentient mushrooms. The mushrooms' bodies are slightly short and mostly humanoid, with faces that are fairly normal- looking save for their conspicuous lack of noses. The mushrooms are rather intelligent and capable of speech. Most of the time they speak English, though for what reason is unknown. These fungi live in a land that has become known as the Mushroom Kingdom. In this kingdom, the mushrooms (known as "Toadstools", or "Toads" for short) live happy and carefree lives under the watchful eye of their kind and caring monarch. Mario, Luigi, the monarchy's current ruler Princess Peach, and Peach's cousin Princess Daisy, are currently the only humans on the planet.
Mario works as a plumber for a living, with Luigi usually accompanying him on his jobs. They are maternal twins, and although they don't look exactly alike, their features are similar enough to give those unfamiliar with them a hard time discerning who is who. To make the job easier for most people, the brothers wear different outfits during work hours, each in that brother's favorite color; Mario's in red, Luigi's in green. They each also wear a colored cap to go with their outfits. Strangely enough, the red cap Mario wears is adorned with a white 'M' on its crown, while Luigi's green cap displays an 'L'. Both of them say that they have had these caps for as far back as their memories go. Needless to say, the caps are the most prized possessions they own.
Most of Mario's plumbing jobs come from the Princess and take place in her huge castle, so Mario and Luigi usually spend the bulk of their work time in or around there. When not on the job, The Mario Brothers (as they've come to be known) usually prefer recreating on the castle grounds or in sports tournaments held every year in the nearby Castle Town. They mostly enjoy tennis and golf, but they have been known to compete in mini-kart racing every now and then.
Unfortunately, the Mushroom Kingdom is oftentimes subject to attack by the mischievous Koopa Klan. The Koopas are a race of giant, mutated turtles with humanoid arms and legs, and they are also headed by a monarchy. Their monarch, however, is a lot less friendly; his name is Bowser, King of the Koopas. He is a giant, fire-breathing monster with near-impervious hide, standing over 10 feet tall at his full height. Bowser seems to have a certain affection for pointy objects; with a shell studded with spikes, two sharp horns atop his head, spike bracelets encircling his arms and neck, razor-edged claws on his hands and feet, and a mouth full of pointy white teeth to back it all up, the Koopa King has been a lifelong nemesis of Mario and Luigi for as far back as they can remember.
After having made several attempts to face Mario alone, Bowser decided to try a new tactic: The brothers were simply too well guarded for him to make a suitable attack directly......so why not have them come to him?
After several failed tries, Bowser managed to kidnap Princess Peach, which forced Mario to come to his castle in order to retrieve her. A furious Mario then decided to pay back the favor by destroying the entire Koopa Army on the way there. Then, when he got to the castle, he engaged Bowser in a frenzied battle, which eventually ended with Mario knocking Bowser into a deep pit, trapping him and saving the princess.
But Bowser wasn't beaten yet. He managed to climb his way out of the pit using nothing but his bare claws, and tried the same tactic again; kidnapping the princess and making Mario come to him to do battle instead of vice versa. Each time this happened, though, Mario always managed to beat Bowser back with a fury and anger that even Peach and Luigi agreed was rather unlike him.
One thing they did know for sure, though, was that Bowser was not one to surrender very easily. Again and again he tried, each time hoping to finally beat Mario in their inevitable encounter. And each time, Mario still somehow managed to drive him away. But Bowser knew that there would come a day when Mario wouldn't be so lucky. Until then, he just needed to bide his time and wait......
(Cue ominous music...)