Sherstrade

After Lestrade had convinced (almost everyone) that "Sherlock's dead and he's stayin' that way" he sadly made his way to a very misused and dank multi-story car park to smoke a couple cigarettes. He hated Sherlock for leaving him... Suddenly he whirled around at the noise of something metal being knocked down on to the poured concrete floor but in an instant decided it would be better not to investigate because he didn't fancy going back to work on his time off. Musing over this he thought to himself "Bloody hell, Greg light one up already!"

Fumbling in his jacket pocket he found a cigarette previously rolled and took his lighter out of the other jacket pocket... Just as his shaking hand had barely lit the cigarette a familiar voice said "Those things'll kill you..." Greg could feel the anger bubbling up and as Sherlock stepped in to the dim artificial light he managed to contain himself as he exclaimed "Ooh, you bastard!" Sherlock stood there and then proclaimed "It's time to come back, you've been letting things slide Graeme." Lestrade retorted "It's Greg! And come back to what I don't really have much of anything left..." Sherlock smiled that annoyingly loveable forced smile as he hissed and corrected himself "Greg".

Lestrade thought about hitting him but instead hugged him to which he felt Sherlock's body almost collapse and then blurted out "I think you should come to my place and we'll get this messed up shit sorted, possibly with Mycroft's help..." Almost immediately Lestrade regretted letting those words slip passed his tongue and out of his mouth,as Sherlock was as stubborn as a child and probably didn't care. However, what happened next surprised Gregory Lestrade within an inch for everything in his life as Sherlock silently replied "Yep, got any coffee at yours then?"

And that's how it began, Sherlock reluctantly asked his brother to clean up Lestrade's problems,(And his own though he wouldn't admit it)

After Sherlock had phoned Mycroft he said "I'll be right over, just not in a police car..." Lestrade had rushed to his small apartment swiftly bachelor washed the dishes and moved the clothes horse out of view thinking "I can't have Sherlock staring at my Y-fronts, he deduces the hell out of me enough already!

Promptly as Lestrade boiled the kettle, the doorbell buzzed and Sherlock strode in and sat down on the beer-stained couch. Lestrade decided to break the ice "So... you like your coffee how you like deathstars, then? Black, on the dark side-" "and two sugars." interrupted Sherlock his mouth turning into a smirk.

Lestade made the said drink for Sherlock and asked "Why did you agree to come? You don't usually do things like this... Sherlock rolled his eyes and said "Well John has Mary and I have no-one... He looked sadly over to Lestrade who was completely taken aback at Sherlock acting so Human. He searched his memory frantically for someone who wasn't already in a relationship..."Eurrm, What about Molly, then Sherlock? Sherlock replied laughing with a snort "She went out with a criminal mastermind and she's trying to replace her feelings for me with that almost vacant sheep Tom, Can't you tell... He suddenly stopped mid-spiel as if he was distracted and continued in a much quieter tone "- Annnd anyway I'm Bi, and no-one understands my intellect anyway.

Lestrade stifled a giggle and answered "I think I know someone who might." After Sherlock had left, muttering sadly about an empty flat. Lestrade called Mycroft Holmes "Hello, Gregory, yes just as I'd thought he's very lonely, but too proud to admit it and rather disgusted by sentiment but I think he'll get over it, because I've got a plan... First off we have to entice his love for crimes but, it has to be just so or he'll refuse to come...

Gregory Lestrade couldn't believe his eyes as he read the file that had been passed to him by Anthea. He blinked hard and closed the file, asking "...And your boss assures that I could do this with his help?" Anthea barely looked up from her Blackberry "oh, yes he does." and with that she took the file and stepped into the black Mercedes and disappeared... "Right..." Lestrade said. He checked his mobile and almost instantly got a message:

Junior iceman is go -MH

Lestrade set to work, he texted Sherlock but added +44 over his number and sent the MMS message that Mycroft had suggested, and as the elder Holmes had predicted Sherlock came to the local pub and didn't notice as has beer glass never seemed to empty. After what seemed like an age Sherlock doubled over and threw up... Lestrade texted Mycroft: Melting ice armour now -GL and then he showed the barman his ID and said the usual police speil walking Sherlock handcuffed to his car.

...Error does not compute... failed to load... reboot

Sherlock groaned as he opened his eyes and scanned the room for any clues on what had happened over the last hours that weren't blurry and difficult to remember. A pair of handcuffs were on the bedside table. Sherlock's pupils shrank and his head swam... Anderson is with Donovan, Dimmock hates me and Lestrade is divorced... Oh, no. Mycroft had done this. preying on Sherlock's well hidden emotions, and putting him like pawn next to the castle of "Not our division." "feeling better sleepy head?" someone mocked. Sherlock focused. Lestrade. Accessing name rotas now, searching: ... "Gavin?" quizzed the confused detective. "Not quite... but you can't have everything. You're very confident with -everything else... Lestrade beamed then chucked at Sherlock's puzzled expression became harder. Scanning- Porn perferances for = Bisexual Sherlock finally came back to the world from his mind palace and everything continued at a normal pace. Soo... you're like me then? Sherlock found himself grinning cheerily. Lestrade grinned and answered cheekily, "Oh, yes. want me to prove that?" As Lestrade slid into the bed Sherlock whimpered and nodded like a bobble head.

Ultimatum achieved. goals system shut down. OTP complete.

AN- Sorry if you don't like this it's how it works in my head... but if you do like this I would love some feedback. =D