okay, sorry for not updating anything else. i've been busy. but right now im like extremely sad and hurt.

i wrote this before i felt this way. but im glad i did. i wanted to show this to my friend britt (briittxxhc) but it wouldnt open. so i thought i'd upload it here.

i mean seriously guys, never judge someone youve never met. like dont judge me and be like "oh, shes a whore for not updating!" i mean, you dont know me. and im sorry i havent updated, i really am.

PLEASE EXCUSE THE MISTAKES. i dont really feel like re-reading it. So...here you go. review if you want . let me know what you thought.

Written by TwilightSagaLover543/Ani

The sky began to turn a pale shade of gray as the kids slouched their way through the doors and into St. Marshall's High School, like they do every weekday. Everyone was dreading to go to their first period class, wanting to go back home and crawl into their comfortable, warm beds. There was only one way answer to why - it was Monday morning.

But that wasn't a problem for me, Elizabeth Marie. I, for one, actually liked school. Sure, it was difficult waking up in the mornings sometime, but nothing a healthy breakfast couldn't cure. The goal I had set for myself in the beginning of freshman year was to make national honors society junior and senior year. Now, there's only a few months left until graduation, and I am happy to say that that dream was reached.

Getting ready for first period French, I opened up my locker and grabbed my books and slid them quickly into my backpack, making sure I missed nothing. Suddenly, two long arms grabbed me from behind and pulled me into a tight hug. I gasped, confused as to who it could be.

"Silly girl, it's only me," the masculine voice said to me from behind. Of course, how could I be stupid? I turned around and faced my best friend, Anthony. I tiptoed and wrapped my arms around his neck. He had been my best friend since before I could remember. At first, he had been my neighbor, and our mothers had always spent time together, leaving Anthony and I to befriend each other. We're in the same grade, but this year, we don't have any classes together sadly, but we always meet up before school, at lunch, and after school to hang out.

"Hey best friend," I smiled up at him, my arms now at my side, "How was your weekend? Miss me?"

He just chuckled and smirked. "Oh, of course, how could I not miss you? And my weekend was okay, but Libby…oh I really have to tell you about her."

My eyes widened as I replayed that sentence in my head. Her? What was that supposed to mean?

"Oh…her? Who may I ask is that…?"

Anthony just sighed, his eyes shining brightly with excitement. "Well, I was at the park, and I saw this beautiful girl, her name was Alison. She has soft blonde hair, and the most amazing baby blue eyes. We got to talking and, she was just an amazing girl. It was astonishing how I felt about her by just looking at her and talking to her. While I was staring into her eyes…I don't know, Libby, but I felt like I was just lost."

I couldn't help but smile, but inside, everything was beginning to turn black, my heart slowly ripping down the middle. I had never told anyone this, but a few years ago, I had started to develop a crush on Anthony. I never really had a close girlfriend to talk to about it, so I kept it to myself. My parents weren't really involved in my personal life anyways. The more I got to know Anthony, and the more time I spent with him, the feelings I had for him grew rapidly, and one day, when he was away at vacation, I had a revelation. I loved him. I loved Anthony Michael Smith. Every time I think about him I smile, my heart fastens in pace every time he touches me, and my heart melts every time I see him. But that was a problem, I couldn't tell him how I felt. I didn't want to loose the close friendship we had now. Even though it hurt me, it was the better choice.

"Wow…Anthony, I'm happy for you…." I couldn't really gather my thoughts, but I knew that I had to get away quick, or tears would spill down my cheeks.

"Thank you, she's coming over tonight to meet my parents. I know they'll love her. Oh, gosh you have no idea how great she is, Libby." His smile grew across his face.

"That's…great….um, I have to go." I began to jog away, leaving Anthony and running into the bathroom. I quickly ran into one of the stall ands put down the toilet seat. I sat down and bent forward, holding onto my knees as I shed the tears I was trying so hard to hold back. Why did love have to hurt so much? I didn't understand…I did nothing wrong. Sometimes I did wonder how Anthony felt about me. The way he talked to me at times, made me think that he might like me too, but that would be too good to be true.

The bell for first period rang, shit, I was late. But for once I thought…I had always been a good student, I think it's okay if I'm late for once. I stayed in the bathroom until my tears were gone, and my eyes had lost their redness and puffiness. About a half hour had passed, as I touched up my makeup and walked out of the bathroom and into the French classroom. Surprisingly it didn't matter if I was late or not, we had a substitute anyways. I was extremely happy with that - I really just needed some time to sit down and just…think.

"Liz, they, are you alright?" My friend Leila asked me once I sat down at my seat. I looked at her and smiled to the best of my ability. She bought it, thankfully.

"Oh, I'm quite alright, just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night," I quickly laughed under my breath. I had never been a good liar.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Monday morning's are the worst."

"Oh I agree."

The rest of the period was silent, well, for me. I just looked off through the window and closed my eyes. My head began to hurt, probably from crying so much earlier. I would go to the nurse's office later and get a couple Advil. The bell brought me back into reality as everyone got up out of their seats and walked out of the room. I took my time, I was in no rush.

The rest of the day was just a blur, I decided that I wouldn't go to lunch, I couldn't handle facing Anthony. I wouldn't know what to say to him. It's weird thinking how, one thing can change everything. It's just…I couldn't believe what I was hearing when he told me this morning. Thinking about it makes my heart sting, my eyes ready to produce tears again. I could hold back again though.

Finally, the last bell of the day rang, and the hallways began buzzing with all kinds of conversations. I didn't care, I just walked over to my locker and exchanged the books in my backpack, keeping only the ones I would need for tonight's homework. I saw someone come and stand beside my locker; my heart began to quicken in pace - Anthony. I shut my locker and placed the lock back on, and looked into his eyes for the first time. They were empty to me now, and it hurt to look into them now.

"Hey, where were you at lunch? What's wrong?" he asked me.

I just looked at him and whispered. "Nothing."

"Libby, don't think I'm going to buy that. And plus, I've known you forever, you're a bag liar." He laughed. I didn't even move an inch.

"Oh, come on. I think we need to talk." He said before grabbing my hand before I could get away. We ran through the rain and sat in his truck, just staring off through the windshield at first.

"Now Libby, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He looked at me.

"I already told you nothing's wrong."

"Elizabeth Marie. Cut the bullshit, I know something's bothering you. Now we can sit here all day if you want to, but I'm not leaving until I get an answer from you."

I turned to him, my eyebrows beginning to furrow together. "Oh, but you wouldn't wanna be late for dinner, huh? Don't want to be late for Alison!"

He looked surprised. "What's Alison have to do with this?"

"EVERYTHING!" My voice began to get a bit louder.

"Where's all this coming from? You haven't even met her!"

"AND I DON'T WANT TO!" I was extremely aggravating at this point, "Anthony why are you so clueless! I mean, what's she have that I don't have? I mean, why is she so special? Is she the queen of England? Do you just HAVE to tell me everything about her? What is the big deal?!"

He looked as though he had an epiphany. "Whoa, wait….you like me?"

I didn't say anything. I turned my body around. There was complete silence. But all of a sudden, Anthony began to laugh.

"What's so funny?!" I asked him, demanding to know an answer.

"Oh Libby. That's a funny joke. You really the funniest girl I know. I mean, we would never be together in that way! It's just impossible. I don't like you that way, no offence. You're just my best friend."

Once again, my heart began to rip into a million tiny pieces. I couldn't hold back the tears this time. They began to stream down my face. I was feeling so many emotions at one time, anger, sadness, hurt, fear, loneliness, betrayal, hate. I had enough, I couldn't be friends with someone who was this shallow, even though he wanted to stay friends.

"Anthony, I was being very serious. You want to know the truth? I love you! I had always liked you and then I figured out that I loved you. I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. You could be really sweet and caring sometimes, I thought you felt the same way too. But now I know I was wrong, and that was just stupid of me to assume. Your true colors have finally shown today, Anthony. Even though you want to stay friends, I cant be your friend anymore. I'm not going to associate with someone like you. Goodbye!"

That was the last thing I said to him before I got up and left his car, running through the cold rain and jumping into my car. I quickly put the keys into the ignition and turned it on, putting the car in reverse and zooming out of the school's parking lot. Though the windshield wipers were on, the rain was coming down hard, and the roads were dark. My eyesight was blurry from my tears as well, but I didn't care. I was officially heart broken. Weird to think about, I know, but honestly…now it feels like I don't have a reason to live. I let go of the steering wheel, letting the car swirl off its path, but then I quickly grabbed on and fixed it. What was I thinking? I wasn't going to hurt myself. I'm better than that.

Once I pulled into my driveway, I slammed the door shut and ran into the house. I didn't even say hi to my parents who were sitting on the couch watching tv, or to my older brother who was sitting at the kitchen table eating his lunch. I just walked into my room and slammed the door shut. I locked it with a key, and threw it out the window, and closed the window shut. I took off my wet clothes and changed into my pajamas. But not my normal ones, new ones, black of course, to symbolize how I felt. I crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head and curled up into a ball, tears once again beginning to form, but I wiped them away.

I was done crying. I was done hurting. I was ready for the darkness, as I closed my eyes and felt my body shut down.

Fin.