I was on crack. I'm so sorry. :sobs:
Never Again
Absentmindedly scratching the scar under his eye, Luffy turned the VCR on.
The screen shook; obviously the person operating the camera was either drunk or clumsy.
The camera steadied and Usopp smiled into the camera. "Hello there! The great Usopp speaking! May I dazzle my fans with my body?"
A pale hand pushed him out of the way "Move it long nose!"
The camera zoomed in on Nami, Robin and Vivi, in their bikinis.
Luffy laughed sadly and fast forwarded a little.
The camera was focused on a blonde cook, manning the grill, smirking. Luffy burst onto the screen and tackled Sanji. "Sanji! When will the ribs be READY!"
A short lad with green eyes and short brown hair carrying two drinks tripped over them. The camera shook and several voices blended together in happy laughter.
Luffy blushed. "Sorry Tony…"
The present Luffy smiled at his face on the screen. Such happy times. Good times…
He missed them.
"Give me that camera!" Now the video recorder was in the hands of Zoro. His breathing harsh and hard. The view turned towards the pool, before a giant beach ball hit the lens. Zoro squawked and left the camera on the ground, running off after Vivi and Robin.
Luffy sniffled. He remembered Zoro throwing them in the pool.
"Oh Sanjiiiiiiii!" The holder of the camera was obviously Luffy. The lens zoomed in on Sanji's ass, only to switch to his crotch when the cook turned around. "Luffy! Get that damn camera away from me"
"But Sanji…" The camera fell to the ground. Only grass was on the screen.
"We can go upstairs for a while. The grill can look after itself for a few and the others don't notice anything…"
A rustle of clothing was heard and a lady bug crawled past the lens.
"Let's go then"
About three steps were taken before…
"Where you guys going?"
"Send me a tape! I want VISUALS!"
"You horny bastards!"
Not being able to stand it anymore, the young man turned his TV off. Pulling his fluffy robe tighter on his frame, Luffy walked to the kitchen.
Sanji…
How? How could the blonde leave him? In such a crisis? He started to cry.
The phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey Luffy, I forgot what you had wanted"
"Sanji! Oh it's been so long" Luffy sobbed into the phone.
"Oi! Oi! Luffy stop cryin' like a baby. Just tell me what it was you wanted again?"
Suddenly Luffy saw red. "A baby? I'm a baby now am I? Well you're no man either!"
"Will you just shut up and tell me what you wanted?"
Luffy sobbed again "I'm sorry! Come back home. Now"
"No way. Last time I came back without your food, you almost separated me from my favorite internal organs. You know the ones. The ones that like, keep me alive and stuff." He could feel the sarcasm and hear the scowl in his voice.
Luffy wiped at his eyes. "You don't love me anymore!"
"Aaahhhh! Don't say that! I'll come home right now!"
"Noooo! Get the meat for my sandwich. I want hamburger and pork and roast beef and maybe some steak. Mmmm. Steak. You know what? Just get me one of everything"
"I'm sorry my love. But my wallet doesn't agree."
"Grrrr. Just get me whatever. If it's meat and high in salt I don't care."
"Ugh. These mood swings are annoying. It's 3:23 in the morning and I'm grumpy. Never again!I'm never getting you pregnant again."
"I'll kill you myself if you do"
End
I'm sorry . lmao. I was eating steak and fries when I thought about if Luffy was preggerz. I started laughing so hard I think a fry got stuck in my voicebox. o.O
So there u have it. I woulda put HUMOR in the category thingy w/e but that woulda RUINED my fic. :smiles: