Can You Hear Me?
AN: The fifth in the Kikyo series. The day Kikyo dies.
As always, many thanks to Namike and Sassybratt for showing such interest in my Kikyo series!
Wow… I can't believe this is my fiftieth story!
Disclaimer: As always, I do not own InuYasha. Everything belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
I think I'm running late.
She doesn't pay attention to the faint rustling behind her. All her thoughts are concentrated on her destination – and the hanyou that awaits her there.
I'll do it, Kikyo. I'll become human for you.
She wishes he hadn't seen the surprise that had flashed across her face at the time. She hadn't meant to appear so startled. She had just been so shocked at the time – InuYasha, the notorious bastard son of the Lord of the West, who had been a king among dog demons, agreeing to become human? It had seemed so inconceivable, even the day she had first tentatively broached the subject.
She wishes she'd had more faith in him. She wishes she could have been happy for his decision, for the both of them, instead of being suspicious.
The suspicion had lasted only for a heartbeat, but it had been enough to pollute the moment. When she returned home, all she could think about was how one corner of her mind had wondered why InuYasha had complied to degrade himself and become a human.
Kikyo wets her lips, her slippers creating wet thuds as they slap against the grass underfoot. She is definitely running late – the sun is already at its zenith. Noon. They had agreed to meet at noon, at the Goshinboku.
A faint smile crosses her face as she pictures the half-demon – perched in one of the lower branches of the sacred tree, an impatient scowl written across his face. He is always impatient, she laughs silently to herself. Always eager to keep moving. But then again, so is she. She wants to start their new life together as soon as possible.
She increases her speed once more.
The impact is sudden, and for a moment she can only keep walking. The pain doesn't register until a few minutes later, and when it does, she is already face down on the ground. Her fingers are splayed across the grass, and near one of them lies the object that is going to make her dreams come true.
The Shikon no Tama.
The jewel glows with a soft light – purified by Kikyo's spiritual power. Yet she can see the faintest sheen of charcoal-gray over its surface. Panic grips her. How on earth did she manage to contaminate the jewel? Where had she gone wrong?
A clawed foot comes into her line of sight, pressing down on her outstretched hand as she reaches for the Shikon no Tama. Kikyo inhales sharply, but she does not cry out, even though the combined pain of the claws digging into her hand and the searing pain of her shoulder wound make her want to scream. She feels dread fill her. She knows of only one creature with claws like that.
He bends to pick up the fallen jewel, one clawed finger hooking through the thread she tied around it. She wants to deny the sight in front of her, but she cannot. There is no mistaking his crimson robe, his silver hair or his amber eyes.
InuYasha.
Something in his eyes looks so familiar. Kikyo presses the palm of her left hand into the ground and awkwardly hoists herself up.
"Do you grow so impatient?" she asks him quietly, her tone gently rebuking. The half-demon in front of her backs away, the Shikon no Tama clutched in his fist. Something flickers across his face, and she suddenly remembers the pain in her shoulder.
InuYasha would never attack her. Would he?
The same little voice that questioned his motives the previous day resurfaces. Kikyo tries to fight it down, to lock it away in the small box it had previously inhabited, but it is insistent. What made her think one with demon blood would willingly turn human for a priestess? the voice asks her. Was she blind? Couldn't she see the trap the hanyou had cunningly set for her?
No, she cried out silently. InuYasha would never betray me… never.
"Thanks," he speaks, and she is jarred back into reality by his recognizable, gruff tone. Kikyo turns questioning eyes on him, willing him to say something to explain his terrible actions.
"For this," he clarifies, nodding towards the jewel in his hand. A cruel smirk is in place, and his amber eyes seem so distant. "Stupid wench – did you honestly think I'd turn human? For you, of all people?"
It is as if he has read her inner, most shameful thoughts. Kikyo recoils.
"You're such a fool," the creature in front of her continues, seeming to delight in Kikyo's expression. "I'm a half-demon. I would never consent to become human – to lower myself. I would never want to live my life with you."
"You lied." Her voice is ragged and pained, and she curses herself for showing such weakness. "You lied to me. Why?"
InuYasha laughs humorlessly. "Think, you stupid woman. For a priestess, you aren't particularly smart, are you, Kikyo?"
Fear and anger make her throat close, and Kikyo is unable to reply. InuYasha shoots her another arrogant look – one that is painfully well known. She has seen the same look on his face so many times, yet he has never looked so inhuman before. She reminds herself that he isn't human, and she was blind to have not noticed so earlier.
"Thanks," he repeats, beginning to walk away. "This'll come in handy for what I plan to do now."
"Where are you going?" she calls, her voice steady despite her rage.
He doesn't look back. "To the village."
It is as if she is witnessing a vision. She sees exactly what he plans to do. Kikyo closes her eyes in agony as houses burn, children scream and people die. She realizes her entire body is trembling.
InuYasha is gone. Kikyo exhales slowly as she opens her eyes and hauls herself up, her long hair coming undone and pooling on the ground around her. Her shoulders shake, and her eyes sting. The blood from her shoulder wound continues to drip on the grass in warm scarlet puddles.
He lied to me. He betrayed me. He never meant any of those words.
Kikyo covers her face with her hands and closes her eyes again, shoulders still shuddering. For some reason, InuYasha's betrayal shakes her far more than anything else she has ever experienced.
Why did she allow him to get so close? she wonders. Why did she let him worm his way into her heart, until she began to doubt her duty? Why is it that she wants to weep in anguish on learning of his betrayal?
Because you love him.
Kikyo breathes out and breathes in again, taking measured breaths. She cannot allow herself to cry. She will not cry.
"InuYasha…" she whispers. "Why? Why?"
Her arms drop, and one of her hands land on her bow. It had fallen when InuYasha had struck her from behind, and her quiver of arrows, too. Kikyo stares at the weapon under her hand, absently running a finger up and down its smooth surface.
Part of her cannot believe InuYasha would betray her so. She still wants to believe in his love and in his promises. The rest of her knows that the half-demon tricked her, but she cannot imagine harming him – or worse, killing him. Kikyo tilts her head upwards, despairing.
She cannot hurt him, and yet she cannot let him live. She knows exactly what he will do to the village. Her grip on the bow tightens, and she glances at her quiver, lying nearby.
InuYasha must have stepped on the arrows, she realizes, since most of them are broken. Yet one arrow is still whole. Kikyo crawls over to it and picks it up.
InuYasha…
The journey to the village is a haze of pain and anger and misery. She knows what she must do, and yet, the thought of committing such an act makes her flinch.
At least, she consoles herself, I am not killing him.
Inhaling deeply, Kikyo winces at the sound of panic coming from the village. Her steps slow as the true horror of InuYasha's actions come crashing down on her. She pauses before ascending the hill that will lead her to the village, remorse racking her.
She is the priestess of the village. She is supposed to be strong. She is supposed to protect the villagers. And yet, what does she go and do? Fall in love with a half-demon.
Love.
The single word fuels her simmering anger, and she begins to walk again, her strides long and purposeful. Although the scene in the village pains her, she walks past weeping people without so much as a glance in their direction, intent on her prey.
He is leaping away from the village, the pale pink jewel clutched in his hands. Seeing the jewel growing darker and darker, Kikyo sets her jaw and chases after him, coldness sweeping through her mind and rendering her emotions numb, ineffectual. She is glad. It will make her task much easier.
"InuYasha!" she shouts, and he turns. He looks so surprised at her appearance, she cannot help but smile grimly. Did he think, perhaps, that she wouldn't come after him? That she would have died in the meadow after his ambush?
She pulls the bowstring taut, aiming the arrow at his heart. InuYasha seems to sense what she is about to do a millisecond before she releases the string, and he looks to be in the process of saying something. Kikyo ignores him and lets go of the string with a twang, sending the arrow hurtling towards him.
It pierces his chest, and pins him to the tree just behind him. The Shikon no Tama falls from his limp fingers to rest in the grass below him. His amber eyes are pained and confused, and he speaks her name gently, tenderly.
"Kikyo… I thought…"
Horror courses through her as his head falls to one side. What has she done? Kikyo drops her bow and stumbles towards him, her hands outstretched. What has she done?
He looks so peaceful, his silver hair stirring in the faint breeze, his furry dog-ears erect. She wonders how he can look so tranquil after betraying her and breaking her heart.
Kikyo presses one hand to her mouth, swallowing as she bends to pick up the jewel from where it had fallen. Warmth surges through her as the jewel comes in contact with her fingers, but instead of brightening, its surface grows even duller. Kikyo closes her eyes and crumples to the ground, swaying as the world alternately dims and brightens. Her vision grows blurry.
"Sister! Sister Kikyo!" It is Kaede, looking distraught. Kikyo half-smiles at her younger sister, wishing she could at least be able to see Kaede grow into the priestess she would soon become. Oddly enough, Kikyo feels immensely serene even as she is aware of the blood trickling from her shoulder.
"Kaede." She grips her sister's hands in her own. "Sister. I… I need you to do something for me."
"Anything, Kikyo. Anything."
"Burn… burn the Shikon no Tama with my body, will you? I will take it from this world. No one…" she pauses to catch her breath, growing dizzy, "will ever suffer… suffer because of it… ever again. Please."
Tears leak from the corners of Kaede's normally bright eyes. "Kikyo…"
Kikyo wants to smile, but her face freezes. The world spins and tilts crazily around her, and she feels herself fall into a pair of warm arms. She feels if she just had the strength, she would look up and meet a pair of warm amber eyes.
I'm so sorry.
AN: I know I say this every time, but I'm honestly not happy with this piece. It's just… blah. There were so many emotions I could have conveyed more convincingly. I will probably rewrite this piece when I think I'll be able to portray it more clearly. It just doesn't seem unique to me. That's not good in my book…
1,944 words.