Fifty Shades Thanksgiving (Revised!)
Author: I was informed by the proprietors of this establishment that the previous incarnation of this fan fiction had to be removed because of its awful grammar. I do apologize and thus submit to you the perfectly edited version of Fifty Shades Thanksgiving which I would highly encourage reading in the most stuffy of accents that you can imagine. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. Cheers!
Warning: This work of fiction is not suitable for readers under the age of 18 or those with rather large sticks rammed up their asses. If you decide to review this negatively, even after this warning using negative and hateful words, know that I will laugh at you because you are a moron. That said, have a wonderful day!
Ch. 1 – Gravy
Mr. Gray was most displeased. He certainly was quite distraught as his company's stocks were at an all time low due to the poor condition of the economy. (Author's Note: My aunt stated in conversation over tea the other day that the economy has been simply ghastly because we have a black president. Can you imagine? But I told her in the most certain of terms that her statement was racist and she should feel dreadful for the implication!) Anyways, Christian returned to the domicile he shared with Ana, fit to be tied! He was quite disheveled, which made Ana feel toasty in her knickers.
"Christian, dear - are you ok?" She asked politely, although she was positively randy for him.
"Silence, Anastasia," he commanded. "You are a dim-witted dullard and I cannot stand your presence." He struck her classily with the back of his well-manicured hand before leaving to go visit the lavatory for his daily bowel movement.
Ana wept most generously. Christian's words were cruel, but as a woman who could not think for herself, Ana believed in the validity of his statements. After all, the last occasion they played scrabble, she did not do well. And so deciding that her feelings were unimportant, she gracefully picked herself up from the floor and returned to the kitchen to cook more dinner, as she knew that is a woman's rightful place.
The date was Thanksgiving (Author's Note: If you do not live in America, Thanksgiving is a holiday during which gluttonous amounts of food are consumed; including a stuffed turkey, which is a flightless bird native to the North American continent. It tastes like chicken.), and Anastasia is preparing a large feast, as Christian invited many important guests.
A little while later, Ana delicately removed the turkey out of the oven, along with the mashed potatoes, hot cranberry sauce, biscuits, and gravy. How did all those things fit in one oven, you may ask? Why, it was magic of course! Good old fashioned witchcraft. (Author's Note: Huzzah! Let's burn her!) She placed the last of the hot dishes on the counter when Christian barged in and began to advise Ana of her general incompetence and lack of feminine graces.
"Why did you not visit me at the office today?" Grey shouted. "I would have very much liked it if you had presented yourself to me so that I may have acted out my perverse yet highly erotic fantasies on you. For that, I scorn you woman and declare that you are a simpleton with no remarkable features."
Anastasia cried, her lip wobbling. "Oh Christian, I am as you say! But I do try-"
"Spare me your sniveling!" Mr. Grey stormed over to the trembling wench. "I will not partake in any meal with you! I shall phone the guests and inform them that the party will be cancelled because my wife is absolutely useless!"
"I beseech you – please reconsider!" Ana attempted to take the phone away from him. In response, he hit her across the face once more.
"Be still, harlot!" He yelled. "I shall punish you for your disobedience."
"I'm sorry, Christian." Ana whispered.
"You will make it up to me then," he said. "Remove your blouse post haste. I would like to ogle your naked bosom."
"Christian," Ana whimpered and bit her lip. "I cannot fulfill your request right now. The guests will soon be arriving."
"Foolish girl, just do as I say! Undress now, and be most appealing." He growled.
As instructed, she unbuttoned her shirt slowly and swayed her hips like an Egyptian princess. (Author's Note: Her dance caused Christian to recall the Amazon, which is a river in Egypt for anyone who does not care to google at the moment.) Despite this, Mr. Grey is not impressed and so he rips her shirt off. Examining her large titties, he began to salivate as he smacked them playfully with his hands.
Ana enjoyed that contact and decided to moan. Even though she previously did not care for his roughness, she became accustomed to it through the years of abuse and sadomasochism that she had endured. That happens when you are in a healthy relationship. Christian liberated himself of his pants and tossed them aside. He is wearing adorable boxers that feature the Angry Birds animals on them as that smart phone application is his favorite.
"Are you ready to be punished?" He asked as he twisted her thick nipple.
"Yes!"
"Jolly good." Gray said and pushed her onto the kitchen table like a slut; jostling the dishes of food around in the process. He then stripped her naked, pausing for a moment to behold her bare form. She had more chest hair than Christian as only he was sensible enough to wax.
"Turn over." He ordered.
She complied. Ana's naked ass was up in the air for him to see. The vulnerable position caused her to blush.
"I will strike your fanny, as you most rightly deserve!" He spoke, ripping one of the legs off the turkey. And so prepared, he began to spank her bottom with it as she cried out in pain.
"No, stop!" She howled insincerely.
"Anastasia, I want you to beg me to stuff you!" He said. "Tell me to stuff you, or I shall be quite cross!"
Ana trembled. "Please Christian, I cannot!"
Displeased with her answer, Christian grabbed the dish of hot gravy and poured it on her butt, causing Ana to scream as it ran down betwixt her legs. Despite the temperature, she found that the pain gave way to pleasure and it began to feel quite good.
"Christian!" She squealed, her thighs very wet now. "I…"
"Say it!" He commanded. "I know you want me in such a way."
He struck her repeatedly with the turkey leg as he stroked himself.
"I-I want you, too." She whispered, her breath catching in her throat. "I want you to stuff me!"
Gray smiled and spread her legs apart, watching as the gravy ran down her body and onto the table. The sight made his cock harder. He ran the turkey leg up and down her thighs, causing friction. The gravy made the turkey leg even more slippery. Then he slipped three fingers inside, causing her to gasp.
"This is much better." Christian Gray said with a smirk. Removing his fingers, he instead positioned the thick turkey leg at the entrance. Pushing it in, Ana shrieked as it was too big for her to accommodate. Stars started to burst in front of her eyes and she felt faint.
"Christian, it is too large!" Ana cried.
"But you like it that way." He said as he rubbed her perky clitoris with it.
"Yes!" She panted; the gravy made a squishy noise between her legs.
"Then you shall have it!" Mr. Grey inserted the turkey leg and split her open. Blood was soon everywhere. Over and over, it went in and out.
"OH YES!" Anastasia cried, feeling herself about to come.
"Come for me, you tart!" He smacked her ass repeatedly. "Beg, you prostitute!"
"Yes!" She shrieked.
Mr. Grey continued to stroke himself as he rammed Ana with the turkey leg until he came violently all over her thighs, mixing with the gravy and blood. It was most distasteful, but avant garde at the same time. Commoners would not understand. Meanwhile, Ana was moaning as she got wetter and wetter.
"May I come?" Ana begged, tears running down her face. "Please, master?"
"NO!" He screamed and suddenly ripped the turkey leg out of her. Then, spinning her around, he smacked her in the face with the sticky turkey leg.
Anastasia shrieked with terror. "Chris-" She started.
"Cease that at once, Anastasia!" He said. "You are abhorrent and pathetic. I cannot continue this relationship if you insist on acting like an immature, classless twat!"
"No!" She howled, grabbing at his arm.
"Clean this up at once." He shrugged her off and walked out of the room.
Everything was an absolute mess. Ana looked around, bewildered. The door bell rang and she sat on the table, weeping. She knew that it was the guests outside.
'It has been a most unfortunate day,' she thought as she slid off the table, leaving a gravy trail.
"Oh, what am I to do?" She muttered to herself. "If only I had paid attention in home economics."
Author Note: Well, that is it for this chapter. I hope you found it delightful! Only one more chapter to go, then. Please feel free to comment and express your admiration. Toodles.