Her journey to the Lifestream wasn't easy, filled with doubt and questioning. She wasn't ready to go, hadn't been prepared to die- to come here. She was supposed to go back- maybe it was stupid to take off on her own like that. Maybe. But only she could do this and everyone else was so stressed out already, they didn't need to watch her. She knew how to fight monsters, how to use materia better than anyone.
Like most people, unfortunately, she didn't know Sephiroth was coming. He was there. Everywhere. Oh sure, she knew now. It was a lot easier to see Jenova's influence from this side of things. But she was dead now, what did that solve?
The first day had been spent doing nothing but crying.
She wasn't the type to weep openly. Between hiding from Shin-Ra, running around with Cloud. Seeing so many things she'd never dreamed of. There was never the time to be sad, not for long. She'd never heard the planet so clearly in her life, it was beautiful. But now, somewhere after the shock went off and the trauma settled, she figured she was allowed some time to herself. Even if she was never quite alone. This had to be the first time in her life (or... whatever you'd call this,) that she'd wished the Planet would just shut up for once.
The second day wasn't so bad, the flowers helped to cheer her up a little. The selection was much wider and more varied than what she'd been able to grow in Midgar and once she realised she could do this, it was easy to distract herself seeing what else she could do here. Starting small, just plants and a seat here and there. After a while she found she could make anything how she wanted if she concentrated hard enough. Maybe if she tried hard enough she could affect things in the real world. Maybe she could help Cloud somehow. Help the planet more than just hoping.
He turned up on the second day too. She had to admit, she was thankful he waited, not wanting him to see her all red-rimmed and snotty from bawling her eyes out for hours. Not the impression she wanted to make, especially after five years.
Five years was a long time, of course. And there were so many questions she wanted- needed to ask but was unsure how, or if even this was the right time. After all, someone they both loved dearly was fighting something huge and he needed them, right? He couldn't do it on his own and they had no intention to leave him that way.
But then he offered to buy a flower for one-thousand gil just to see her smile, and she couldn't help but laugh.
As was often the case between two people like them, even the most serious matters didn't stay serious for long and many jokes about using Cloud's hair to save the planet were made in between conversations about wishes, how much she'd changed and grown up since they were last together. And how, no matter how hard he tried, he had yet to find a way to turn into a dragon.
She was better than him at this Lifestream business too, he realised with a slight pout. In months he had yet to do much more than make ambiguous comments and give Cloud headaches, but she was already tending to her flowers whenever she had more than just a moment to think and making it rain in suspiciously accurate bursts on certain Turks. That was the time to come clean, she decided, and was... somewhat surprised when he didn't seem all that fazed by it at all. Everybody had secrets after all. His was tucked away neatly in his CD collection with a blank label. And it explained a lot, like the way she always seemed to stiffen just a little whenever somebody in a dark suit walked past. It hadn't been hard to figure out what she'd been hiding from, but until he ended up here, he'd never known why.
It was hard not to get in over her head, get too worried and mess up somewhere along the line. But he helped. Even if he wasn't so fantastic in practice, he understood a lot in theory. It was easier to guide Cloud than she'd imagined too, though this could have been to do with the fact that a certain someone wasn't causing blinding white headaches every time he opened his mouth. But who was she to judge, hm?
It was difficult, yes. But she was confident, moreso now than she'd ever been before.
I've grown up a lot since you saw me last.