A/N: This was inspired by the recent spate of summery weather over the weekend. In Britain. In June. Strange, but very welcome. Please continue British Weather Gods. This fic is also dedicated to all those sitting history exams! Down with Edward I!
Oh, I Do Like to Be Beside the Sea Side….
"Now young man you're going and that's final!" Mr Branaugh warned his son sternly… through his bedroom door.
Above the pounding noise of guitars and guttural screams, Robin yelled back "No way! I don't like the sand, I don't like the sea, and I really don't likethe sunburn! I'm not going to the beach!" He flung his mobile phone at the door to underline his objection.
"Oh for the love of – Robin. If Vlad goes, then will you come with us?" Mrs Branaugh interrupted. The lead singer of Bloodreaper and his wishes to do nasty things to your grandmother were abruptly silenced. Robin stuck his head out of the door and looked hopefully at his mother.
"Really? He asked hopefully. Elizabeth looked at her husband, who nodded reluctantly. Seeing the exchange, and thinking of Vlad in swimming trunks, Robin's face lit up.
"Aww, wicked. I can't wait to ask Vlad!" he enthused.
"And Robin – the next time I tell you to do something, you do it. Ok mister?" his dad warned him. Robin rolled his eyes and slammed his door shut again. The opening bars of 'I Should be So Lucky' could be heard, along with a cry of "Stupid shuffle!" before the 'Granny's Good Old Fashioned Gimp Masks' album was once more playing loudly enough to shake pictures frames off the wall.
*****
Early that Saturday, Robin and Vlad were walking down the hill from the Dracula castle to Robin's house. Vlad had a JD sports bag slung over his shoulder as his fathers cries of "It's suicide! Couldn't you just slap on some of Ingrid's orange mud if you want a tan?" still ringing in his ears.
"You have no idea how much this means to me Vlad. I'd have been bored out of my mind if you weren't going." Robin admitted.
"It's no problem. I've never been to the seaside before, so it should be a laugh at least." His friend reassured him. "In fact," Vlad grinned, "I can't wait to have an Ingrid-free castle, even if it is only sand." Smile wavering momentarily, he added "I won't be able to enjoy the sun much longer." Uncharacteristically, Robin was speechless, so he simply put a hand on Vlad's shoulder.
When they got to Robin's garden, it was a flurry of activity. Well, Elizabeth Branaugh was busy darting between the car and the house; her husband and the rest of her progeny were sitting impatiently in the car. Graham Branaugh was sat behind the wheel in a pair of leather driving gloves on, while Chloe, Paul and Ian were crushed uncomfortably in the back seat. Vlad realised the problem before Robin did – "Where am I going to sit? The boot?!" he hissed quietly to Robin. The youngest Branaugh could only shrug uncomfortably.
"Ah! You're here boys. I was just about to ask Chloe to sit on one of the boys' knees-"Robin's mum was cut off by three resounding 'No's' from the back seat. She smiled awkwardly at Vlad, while her husband pointed out there wasn't room for five kids in the back seat.
Unfazed, Robin simply shrugged and said "Well, he can sit on my knee then." He looked at Vlad for confirmation, who simply shrugged. "Sorted." Robin said, trying not to grin.
Chloe giggled in the annoying fashion the two boys were rapidly becoming accustomed to, Elizabeth stifled an 'Aww', her husband simply sighed and nodded while Ian and Paul both shouted "I knew it!"
Blushing furiously, Vlad's best friend rounded on his brothers, demanding "Knew what?" An identical smirk appeared on their faces, which they quickly dropped.
"Yes boys. Knew what?" Ingrid demanded, appearing behind Vlad with a heavy coat and her hood up, with her hands on her hips. Her tone and her scowl at the two of them showed she was not amused; they unsurprisingly declined to answer.
"This is for you, loser You forgot it." Ingrid said, gloved hand shoving a tube of Factor 60 sun cream at her brother.
"We burn very easily in the sun. It's a family trait." She told Mrs Branaugh in a saccharine voice, before turning on her heel and leaving, making sure to bump her brother into his best friend with her shoulder on her way out.
"Right then! Bag in the boot please Vlad, and we can leave." Robin's mum beamed, and placed a pink straw hat on her head. "To the beach!"
As they pulled away from the drive, Vlad sat squarely and willingly on his lap, Robin was sure it would be the best car journey of all time.
*****
As he climbed awkwardly out of the car, Robin was sure it was the worst car journey of all time.
They hadn't been gone five minutes when the first argument began. The radio had been playing 'Don't look back in Anger', which Vlad had started to sing along to quietly and even very pleasantly swayed along as best he could. Chloe however was not a fan of Oasis, and demanded that a CD be put on. The opening bars of 'We're All in This Together!" were enough to cause the radio to be switched on again, just in tie to catch the latest Dizzie Rascal song. One chorus of 'Bonkers!' from Ian and Paul was enough for his dad to hit the power button and tell them that they didn't get anymore music.
Then his mum had proposed the 'kids' play a 'fun game' while they drove, before diving back into her Mills and Boon. Apparently Ian's idea of a 'fun game' waslifting his leg and asking if they could guess what he'd eaten the night before. (Robin thought the answer was cow pats and sulphur.) This prompted a scramble to open the window, which to Vlad and Robin's horror wouldn't budge.
The worst part was yet to come; all Vlad's swaying and then squirming to get the window open had made Robin very… excited. Painfully excited. The uneasy silence that had settled in the car was broken by Vlad innocently asking Robin if he could take his phone out of his pocket, as it was digging into him. Knowing that Robin's mobile had been broken upon its collision with the door and catching on quickly, the rest of the Branaugh clan had erupted into laughter; Robin had then spent the rest of the torturous journey trying to explain to his best friend why his sister was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face.
Once they were all out of the car, Robin's parents and his sister had gone to find a suitable bit of the beach. Ian and Paul had quickly ditched their t-shirts and started scouting out girls. "Oh, I'd well give her it!" Paul laughed, pointing at a blonde girl in a bikini further down the beach, who seemed to have her own 'flotation devices'.
"You're so classy guys, really." Robin sniped. They stopped guffawing and grinned at him.
"Why so pissy, Goth Child? Your boyfriend not putting out for you?" Ian laughed. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it." Paul added, before the two walked further down the beach.
Robin turned round and saw his best friend, clad in white three quarter lengths, t-shirt, and bucket hat. He knew that there was only one person he really wanted to 'try it' with.
*****
"How could you do this to me Mum!" Robin wailed.
"They're fine Robin. You'll look very confident, and Continental." His mum responded calmly. Robin was currently stood in the middle of the beach, clutching a towel round his waist. With a mother who obviously had a sick sense of humour.
"What's the matter Robin?" Vlad, just back from a waterfight in the sea with Chloe, asked him.
"Can you believe it? My mum says she's got all my stuff, don't worry about packing. I open the bag only to find -"
"You're over-reacting, Robin! It's only a speedo!"
Vlad had to cover his mouth with his hand to stop from laughing.
"Oh yeah, laugh it up Judas!" Robin sulked.
Exasperated, Mrs Branaugh told Robin that he could stay with a towel on all day if it suited him, before going to join her husband in the sea.
Vlad rolled his eyes and yanked the towel off Robin, before grabbing his hand and saying "C'mon, you're buying me an ice cream."
They walked up to the small van at the top of the beach, where a plump middle aged woman with wrinkles like scars suggested they try the small shop a while back into town.
The two boys dutifully trotted off through the cobbled streets in the direction she pointed in, hand in hand still. When they reached the shop, they were forced at last to let go. Robin payed for two cones, before they set off for the beach again, hands hanging awkwardly at their sides.
"Hey Robin," Vlad asked, "if you're wearing a speedo, where did you keep the money for the ice cream?" His friend shrugged, and explained "The Brothers Dim always steal my money, so I hide the one place they don't want to look."
"I… I wish I hadn't asked that."
They walked on, an uncomfortable silence settling, and Robin's hand felt itchy, and empty. He couldn't, could he? Vlad would probably freak out. Run away. And he'd go back down to zero friends.
… but Vlad had held his hand all the way to the shop, long after Robin had stopped resisting. He was going to do it. No he wasn't. Yes he was. No. Yes –
Vlad silently clasped his own with Robin's empty one, and gave a small smile to his best friend. Robin answered with a gentle squeeze.
If anyone thought it odd to see two teenage boys eating an ice cream cone and walking hand in hand in a British sea side resort, one clad in just a bright red speedo and the other covered from head to foot in sun cream, no one said anything.