He exhales white clouds of air as he carefully makes his way through the battlefield. His steps are weak and forced as if he's walking through an invisible barrier. His feet are swollen and adorned with scrapes and cuts while his stomach feels hollows. The boy holds a blunt sword close to him as he scans his surroundings for food.
A freezing wind blows over making his teeth clatter and he stops in his tracks to wait for it to pass over. He braces himself and prepares to walk again but his body feels weak, too weak to go on. He's doesn't remember the last time he had had something to eat.
He places a hand on his chest to see if he's still alive. Through the fabric of his kimono, he feels his heart beating slowly and weakly. He looks down at the corpses lying on the grounds with swords and arrows sticking out of them and wonders if he's going to be like that soon.
Mustering up every bit of energy he has left in him he makes his way over to a rusting war tank and sits down, leaning his back against it. He sets him sword down and brings his knees closer to his face.
Through his eyes the world looks grey and hazy. It's been like that for quite some time now and he's gotten used to not seeing colors.
His body is stiff from the cold weather and he thinks that some rest would be good, that sleep should lull him away from reality. He slowly blinks a few times before his eyelids begin to feel heavy. The last thing he sees is his mothers face smiling at him.
:::
"-and so the great warrior returned home with victory. The people sang praises in his honor and the children aspired to be a great hero like him. He had saved the town from destruction by defeating the demon king and he was remembered by as a great hero of the land." A pale woman smiled as she closed the book and looked down at the boy sitting down besides her.
"Did you like it?"
The boy nodded and took the book from his mother's hand to stare at the cover. A man stood with valor with a spear in his hand as he stared at the evil infront of him. The boy's eyes sparkled as he stared with wonder at the hero.
"When I grow up, I'm gonna be like that as well." The silver-haired boy spoke up causing the woman to make a surprised face.
"Really?" She smiled once again and patted his head. "You don't have to be like him though… you just need to grow up healthy and live life to the fullest. Yes, that would be enough."
:::
He opens his eyes once again to the monochrome world as the memory fades from his mind. Compared to the cold weather, the tears streaming down his face are warm and no matter how hard he tries to stop crying, they keep streaming down his face. Reality hits him harder this time around.
He's alone with no one to rely on. At the age of eight, his home has been destroyed and his family has been stolen from him. He's been wandering around for days without food and water and world doesn't seen so much of a bright place now.
You just need to grow up healthy and live life to the fullest. Yes, that would be enough.
The words ring inside his ears and Gintoki looks at the war ground infront of him, with countless dead bodies scattered around, waiting to rot and return to the earth. The world is quiet and time seems to have stopped flowing. He's the only one alive in the sea of dead.
Yes, Living life isn't really an option for him but he refuses to quiet down in the face of fate.
He picks up the swords and begins to walk again.
He'll be alright, he'll survive.