He wasn't afraid of the sea or what lay beneath the sea. The water was his home. Well a sturdy boat that floated in the water, at least. The Jolly Roger had been his home for as long as he could remember. Well, that's not exactly true but there were definitely things that he chose not to remember.

Nothing in the sea, he believed, could surprise him. WEll maybe losing his other hand that would be both shocking and frustrating. Fortunately that was unlikely to happen anytime soon as he had left Neverland far behind him.

The choice had shocked him too when he'd made it. The coast of Neverland had been his home. But he'd been disgusted by the irresponsible reign of Peter Pan, as well as horrified at the thought of risking his beautiful body to ANOTHER stupid crocodile attack. Even now he still had nightmares of that sound... That tick tick ticking of that horrible clock! He shuddered and shook off the thought, gazing into the deep blue water below. The sea was beautiful, even if it wasn't the water he'd grown up on. It didn't matter where The Jolly Roger took him, as long as he was on The Jolly Roger, sailing away from Peter Pan and his Lost Brats. He smiled. New life.

The seas were unfamiliar and far from land. He didn't know where he was. The sun was sweltering and he'd had to pull off his jacket and use his hat as a fan. Part of him was tempted to drop anchor and go for a swim, but he didn't like the idea of swimming in unfamiliar territories. Who knew what lurked beneath the sea? He did drop anchor though, and took a nap in the heat.

When he awoke, he screamed. Instinctively his hook hand flew up to protect himself against the intruder, but a slimy tentacle stopped him.

"You don't want to attack me." The sea witch said with a smirk that took up her entire malicious face. Her skin was ghostly blue/purple/gray and her hair was white like clouds. For a mere second he was distracted by her mole, but recovered quickly.

"Who are you?!" He shouted faking bravery as his hook trembled, her tentacle still wrapped around it, squeezing hard. She ran a perfectly manicured hand across his cheek as he trembled.

"Oh, I was about to ask you the same thing. These are my waters, your little canoe has no place here."

"CANOE?!" He exploded, pulling his arm away from her, adrenaline pumping. He searched around for a sword to run this creature through for insulting his noble ship. He found his swords sinking beneath the great blue, a few bright-tailed mermaids making off with them.

"Canoe." She repeated, the smirk ever present on her face.

"THE JOLLY ROGER IS THE MOST NOBLE SHIP THESE WATERS HAVE EVER SEEN!" She studied her nails with a shrug, unfazed but his rage.

"I've seen Nobler. I sunk them all."

"Who are you."

"Ursula. They call me a witch."

"They're obviously right." He growled.

"What? When I'm just trying to protect my home?" She said, sounded genuinely surprised that he thought she was a witch.

"Well I'm just trying to protect mine! Get off my boat or I'll have to remove you myself!"

"With what? That Coat rack on your hand? I survived being IMPALED by a SHIP what can you do, buffoon? I just wanted to stop in and say expect to be fish food by tomorrow morning. The wreckage of this canoe couldn't be more perfect for my collection. And I'm sure I'll find a use for your drowned carcass."

"You really are a witch."

"You don't have much of a reputation either Captain Hook. Banished from Neverland. Almost eaten by a crocodile. Scared of a clock."

"How do you who I am?"

"News travels fast among Mermaids. I pick up the gossip now and then."

"When you're not busy making people miserable."

"Funny isn't that your hobby too?" He had to admit she was right.

"Pan deserved to suffer."

"So did Triton, you'll never understand what he did to me." She seemed a bit sad.

"Cheat you of the throne?" He guessed. He'd heard of King Triton. She looked up, surprised.

"Yes."

"I understand."

"How could you possible..."

"Pan cheated me out off my hand and my home, I understand being cheated. Are you really going to take your anger out on me? I'm just an innocent Pirate."

"You're far from innocent."

"So are you."

"I'll reconsider sinking your canoe."

"I'll reconsider ripping you apart."

"You couldn't do that if you wanted to." She said with a sneer. He ran his good hand through his hair.

"Maybe so. Maybe so."

"Goodbye Captain Hook. You'll know tomorrow if I decided to destroy you or not." She slipped gracefully back into the water, where she almost looked pretty, and was about to swim off when he had the strange urge to call out to her.

"Wait! Ursula." She turned, her tentacles fanning out like a dress.

"Yes, Pirate?"

"I like you." She laughed.

"Oh you poor unfortunate soul..."

What happens when you start noncanon shipping so hard that it hurts.