Alone


From the time he had been a young child, he had always been comfortable with himself. It was perhaps a testament to his precocious maturity that he was so calm and composed, instead of creating the ruckus so infamously associated with young boys. While his cousins, after their morning stretches and technique lessons, would paint the Li courtyard red, the entire estate ringing with their laughter and yelps, he opted instead to retreat to the porch of the main mansion and watch them with disapproving eyes. For hours, he would sit patiently, quietly, and watch the whirl of their colorful fabrics across the bold green grass.

Often, he would sit in the early afternoon, his legs uncrossed, sipping fine jasmine tea. It was preferred to relax his tired muscles, and invigorate him for the afternoon's grueling head-to-head matches. From time to time he would peer into his cup and watch the lazy swirl of the tealeaves. First clockwise, then settling, before swirling counter-clockwise. Then he would take another calculated sip. He was still too young to read, although occasionally he would catch the meaning of a character on the package of loose jasmine tealeaves. He was behaved and obedient, like the future leader of the prosperous Li Corporations should. His mother would occasionally cross his path after lessons were over and pat him affectionately on the head, telling him how proud she was that he was so well mannered. The attention never failed to fill him with longed-for satisfaction.

In his slightly older years, he became more aware of the separation between he and his cousins. Although at night he would retreat to his family's mansion, located to the northeast of the main mansion, and share a more intimate setting with his four sisters and his mother for dinner, during the day the four teenage girls were occupied with Chinese literature lessons and advanced mathematics. His sisters were somewhat privileged – the rare magic that they had inherited was from his mother's side, and was mostly defensive. The family training for defensive tactics ended at the age of ten, after which they would continue rigorous academic studies to someday expand the corporation. At his age, he had some inkling for what his responsibilities would be when he grew older. He was aware that he would inherit the Li empire as stated in his father's will – despite an increasingly liberal manner of thinking that pervaded post-Cultural Revolution China, as well as the Li family's efforts to become a pioneer in changing the established injustices that had marked the previous centuries (most notably through breaking the One Child Law) the clan had kept some of the most ingrained traditions, including the passage of the reigns to the company from father to son.

Imperceptibly slowly, he started to build a wall around himself, shielding himself from the rest of the world. With the exponential perfection of his technique and skill, he found it boring, and then useless to train with most of his peers. Perhaps the only cousin who could match to his physical strength and perseverance was Mei Lin, the daughter of his mother's brother. Although her mother was proficient in the art of wielding magic, the gene for its awakening was never coded due to her father being of common blood. Mei Lin was of a small minority of the Li clan who possessed no useful magic, but her fiery personality easily made up for it in determination and a need to prove her worth to others. She was immediately drawn to his similar determination and willpower, although his found roots in other reasons.

Despite her attention and her loyalty to him, he could never find it in him to really like her. She was entertaining to listen to, and a distraction to him. A part of him sincerely enjoyed her company, but he knew he would never be able to truly open up to her the way you would open up to a friend. She was interested in him, he thought, perhaps for that incident when he had trudged through the rain and muck to retrieve the precious bird that she had received as a birthday present. But she didn't know him. She didn't know that he worried often about his mother, especially late at night when he lay in bed, his eyes open, and he heard her crying herself to sleep alone in her large and empty bed. She didn't know that he was scared and unsure of himself; many jealous words whispered among the older figures of the clan had met his ears, and even though they had thought him too young to understand, it wasn't difficult to comprehend that he had large shoes to fill. She definitely didn't know that he felt lonely. He had worked hard to create a perfect image of a boy who would never make a mistake, never show a fault, never admit he was wrong. And as a result, he was always two people – the boy who would someday succeed the Li Corporations, and the boy who longed to allow his tea to cool while he ran around with his other cousins.

So when he arrived one fall morning at the Japanese Tomoeda Elementary School, he never expected it. He never expected the warm and kind smile of the auburn haired girl. He never expected the unconditional kindness and the delicate cheerfulness. He never expected the understanding, the encouragement. He never expected, never expected that he would become attached to someone as his friend. Most of all, he certainly never expected his wall would eventually be pulled apart, brick by brick, until he was able to see – he was no longer alone.

Wow, writing after a while feels a lot like exercising after you've been lazing around on your couch for months - refreshing, but you also feel like you have lost your incredible superpowers. Well, not that I ever had superpowers or anything, just saying. :) I can't tell if I like this or not. I'm trying my hand first as making sure I have the character reflection down pat before I go off on my normal fluffy literature. I'm having a lot of fun exploring Syaoran, he is honestly one of the most interesting manga/anime characters I have come across. In any case, rather than flaming me or telling me you like it, I'd honestly appreciate if you could leave me some constructive criticism - I shall love you forever and ever, and we can get married and ... ! Ahem. Okay, getting carried away. If you want to propose a theme for the letter B, I'd be more than happy to try my hand at writing it!