DIS: Dun, dun, dun, dun! I have finally decided to do a small Christmas fic! You'll cry, you'll laugh and you might even throw something at the computer! It is going to be my all-time favorite couple...(drum roll) Kaiba/Anzu!
Marik/Bakura: WHAT THE HELL!
Kaiba: ...I am going to kill you...slowly.
Audience: (in awe, thinking: wasn't Marik/Anzu/Bakura her favorite...?)
DIS: (laughs) Yes, I know, you guys probably are thinking, isn't Anzu with Bakura or Marik my favorite? NOT ANYMORE! The most logical couple in YuGiOh – other than Yuugi/Anzu, Jou/Mai, Honda/Shizuka/Otogi – is Anzu/Kaiba! I mean, it's so obvious! (rolls eyes) Anyway! Read below and please enjoy! (grins)
X
Title: Christmas with my enemiesRating: T, perhaps M later on...
Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: KaibaxAnzu; Mokuba is eager for the holidays and invites the YGO gang to the Kaiba's cabin for the holidays. Unfortunately, they get snowed in and are stuck in the cabin with each other for Xmas! Can they handle each other or will it be the worst Xmas ever? Short-chaptered fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, but I frickin' wish that I did, dammit! – Oh and I don't own Inuyasha, either...Damn!
Notes/Warnings: It's going to be a relatively short fic, so don't sue! Also, this is my first – present-time – Kaiba/Anzu fic, so if I rush the romance or it completely sucks, don't kill me, all right? And I know I should be updating my other humor fics, but I needed to do a Kaiba/Anzu humor one. Plus, every bloody year I say I'm going to do a Christmas fic and I never do – So now's my chance! Hehehe...Anyway...Yeah, that's about it.
Couple: Kaiba/Anzu
X"DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" Bakura roared, shivering. "What the hell is with this white stuff? Why is it so cold out? RYOU, DAMN YOU, ANSWER ME!" Ryou sweat dropped as he paused in shoveling the snow.
"Bakura, I've explained this to you..." Ryou told him, watching as Bakura shivered, standing in the knee-deep snow, shivering. The image was quite comical, Ryou had to admit. Bakura, having found out how cold it was outside, demanded that he be given every protection from the 'white stuff.' So, Ryou obeyed. Bakura was covered with two scarves, a huge coat, earmuffs, a cap (which flattened his chin-length hair,) mittens, and huge boots. And yet, somehow, Bakura was still cold. "It's not 'white stuff,' but snow. And it's cold because it is winter. I could explain how the earth rotates and everything else, but..." he trailed off, watching as Bakura covered his face with one of his scarves. I doubt he'd be able to hear me either way, he thought to himself.
"Hey, Ryou!" Yuugi grinned at him from the sidewalk. "What's going on?"
"(OO) Uh, mate..." He blinked at the bundle of clothes that was somehow walking...
"Mmble!" The clothes muttered.
"What was that, Yami?" Yuugi turned to his yami, blinking. Yami gestured rapidly and Yuugi removed some of the clothes, peering at him curiously. "What is it?"
"(o.o) Yuugi, I can't breathe!" Yuugi blinked again. "Don't cover my face! I can endure the cold for that long!"
"Ryou!" Bakura barked at him. "How come the Pharaoh gets more clothes than I do? I'm fucking freezing!"
"Watch your mouth, Bakura," Ryou told him. His yami growled and started for him, but fell in the snow.
"AWW! RADAMMIT, COLD!" He swore more, making the other three wince as he rolled around in the snow. "RYOU, GET YOUR PANSY ASS OVER HERE!" Ryou sighed.
"So, what are you doing out, Yuugi?" Ryou asked, ignoring Bakura's shouts.
"I'm taking Yami with me Christmas shopping," Yuugi piped up in a pleased voice, smiling. "And, er...I thought he might want to get used to this whole 'snowing' thing." Ryou nodded.
"Bakura isn't understanding the concept quite yet." Yami snorted.
"Of course the idiot doesn't. Ha! Moronic Tomb Robber!"
" – WHEN I GET UP, PHARAOH – " Bakura warned, kicking his legs in anger, not being able to get up.
(-.-)
"Right," Yami snorted. "Can we go now, Yuugi? I'm cold!"
"Wait," Ryou put aside his shovel. "I need to get some shopping done, I'll come along."
"All right, we'll wait then," Yuugi chirped. Yami looked about to cry.
"...my nose is cold, Yuugi."
"(-.-)" He sighed, before covering Yami's face. "Better?" The Pharaoh nodded in reply. "Good." That'll stop his whining.
X
"You two know about Santa Clause, right?" Yuugi asked them. Bakura stared down at him, his eyes narrowed. "(o.o) Or not?"
"What mother would be so mean as to name their child 'Santa?'" Yami demanded as they walked in the mall.
"That, uh, isn't his name," Ryou told him uncertainly. "Oh, look, he's right there!" Ryou pointed to Santa Clause that was seeing little kids.
"But wait! – wasn't there a guy like that asking for money outside?" Bakura asked, frowning. Yami was frowning as well.
Uh oh...Yuugi thought. I know what Yami's thinking when he gets that look on his face. "Yami – "
"IMPOSTER!" Yami shrilled and headed straight for the fake Santa. Santa smiled at him.
"Ho, ho – HO?" Yami tackled him. "GAH!"
"Oh, no, Santa!" A kid shrieked.
"IMPOSTER!" Yami shrieked, beating the man up, before ripping his beard off. He stood up and pointed at the man. "He is not the real Santa!" The kids started to shriek and cry. The parents glared at Yami, who was oblivious. "No need to thank me. Um, what are you looking at me like that?" The parents grabbed Yami and started to beat him up. "No...No! NOO! YUUGI, HELP MEEEEE!"
"...I take it that this 'Santa Clause' is just a lie to children?" Bakura asked him, arching his brows. Ryou and Yuugi nodded numbly. "Ah...Hehehe, what a dumbass, that idiot Pharaoh."
(Later)
"Yuugi, you left those demons to eat me..." Yami sniffed, nursing his bruised lip.
"(--") It was your own fault, Yami," Yuugi told him severely. The Pharaoh's jaw dropped. "You shouldn't have went and attacked the poor man. I mean, really, Yami, what were you thinking?" Yuugi stared at him in horror.
"Yuugi!" He gasped. "How can you say such a thing to me? I AM PHARAOH! I WILL NOT TOLERATE DISOBEDIENCE! BOW DOWN TO ME, ABIOU!" Yuugi frowned at him.
"I can always reconsider letting you watch Inuyasha," Yuugi threatened.
"NOO! I wanna see if Kagome and Inuyasha get together..." He looked terrified.
"Then stop demanding that I bow to you!" Yami sulked and glared at Bakura when he snickered.
"Shut up, Bakura. I know you watch 'Days of Our Lives.'" Yami muttered to him. Bakura's jaw dropped, his eyes shooting wide.
How the hell did he know that's why I skip my mid-morning classes? Bakura thought, staring down at his feet, disturbed. Grreaat. I have blackmail over my head. Stupid Pharaoh. I'll get you...Somehow.
(oO) This is a bit awkward, Ryou thought to himself. Those two are much too quiet. "So...Um...Where should we go first, Yuugi?"
"Well, I was thinking of getting Anzu, Mai, and Isis finished with." He flushed. "I hate going in those girl stores, but I mean..." Yami and Bakura perked up, thinking of the only woman store.
"Can I pick out a present for one of your lady friends, Ryou?" Bakura asked sweetly. Ryou eyed him suspiciously.
"Like what?"
"Just a little something I'm sure Mazaki, Ishtar, or Kujaku would appreciate."
"Fine. Buy something for Anzu, then. I never know what to get her." He handed him some money. "Don't spend it on something stupid, Bakura!"
"I won't," Bakura grinned. "I'll even get it specially wrapped."
"...All right. Come on, Yuugi."
"Okay!" Yuugi chirped. "I'm thinking of getting something from Lotions and Potions. It smells good in there." Yami sighed.
"I always get dizzy in there, though..." Yami whined to his abiou, who sighed in return.
"You just are angry because you never can get bubble bath there." The Pharaoh's cheeks turned red.
"...Humph."
X
With Bakura, he was strolling through Victoria's Secret, peering at things with interest. What would make Mazaki blush more than anything? Hehehe, thank you Ryou for giving me the more innocent of the three females.
"Can I help you sir?" The woman smirked at him. "Looking for a present for your girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend? Uh..." She'd probably kick me out if I said no. "...Yes. Yes, that's it exactly. More of a present for me, if you get my drift." The woman giggled.
"Oh, yes, I know what you're looking for. Come this way, sir. So, what are you looking for? Teasing, slightly scandalous, or downright revealing and ultra wicked?"
"Hmm, I think I'll go for the last one." The woman clapped her hands in glee.
"Excellent!"
X
Ryou saw Bakura coming towards him with a box in his hands.
"Here," he tossed it at Ryou. "Specially wrapped, like I promised."
"Is there any change left?"
"I spent it."
"Bakura!" Ryou exclaimed in dismay. "On what?"
"Two gumballs."
"...Well?"
"I ate them. Well, I swallowed one and threw another one at someone's head." Ryou sighed.
"Well, what do you want to eat?"
"Where are the little brat and the Pharaoh?"
"Er...Yuugi is trying to persuade a security guard that Yami didn't mean to steal something."
"Did he?"
"No. It said 'Free Sample' on cologne, so he assumed that he got the whole bottle, so he took it. Ah, there they are now." Yuugi and his presently bad-tempered yami came up to them.
"Sit." Yuugi ordered. "Hey, Ryou. Bakura. I'm gonna go get something to eat."
"I'll come with," Ryou nodded to the table and Bakura plopped into a seat.
"So, Pharaoh...Trouble with the law?"
"It said 'Free Sample,'" Yami grumbled. "Stupid misleading signs." Bakura roared with laughter.
"You really are an idiot! First you knock out a Santa Clause and next you 'accidentally' steal something! Oh, that's wonderful! Just awesome! Hehehe."
"Oh, shut up, Bakura. What did you get for Anzu, anyway?"
"The most sexiest, indecent piece of 'lingerie' that I could find." Yami scowled at him.
"You shouldn't set Ryou up like this."
"Puh-lease. It's not as though she'll call him 'pervert' or something like that. She'll probably just blush and meekly say thank you."
"You don't think very highly of her, do you?"
"Not really. Should I?" Yami merely sighed.
"You can dig your own grave. After all, it's none of my concern."
"(Oo) Eh? Whatever."
X
Seto Kaiba, the cold, certain CEO of Kaiba Corp, was staring at his screen, his fingers zooming across the keyboard when his younger brother came skipping in.
"I know something you don't know!" Mokuba told him in a singsong voice.
"I also know something you don't know," Kaiba informed his brother, not pausing in his work.
"Huh? Really? What is it? Come on, tell me, tell me!"
"Just get on with it, Mokuba."
"What? Oh! Right! Guess where we're going during vacation break?"
"Disney Land."
"Really?"
"No."
"Oh...No! We're going to the cabin!" Even though I can hardly call it a cabin...
"Says who?"
"Says me! And guess what else?"
"What."
"I've sent invitations to Yuugi and his friends."
Oh, god-fucking-dammit, Kaiba thought, pausing in his work. Well, I think we all know who is in a bad mood...I knew that something was going to go wrong. I must have jinxed myself. I thought I would have a quiet vacation, but no, my brother is forcing me to go to that stupid cabin in the middle of nowhere with those geeks. "Mokuba," Kaiba turned to him, "if you're not aware, I have work to do here."
"(-.-) Seto...You're just sending out hate messages to people you don't like."
"...That's important work."
"Setoooo! We never do anything fun on the holidays. Besides, we'll be back on Christmas Eve."
"Mokuba, what makes you think you can plan this sort of thing and force me and those stupid wanna-be duelists to that frickin' cabin?"
"Hey, that's not fair to say! Anzu isn't a duelist! Well, um, not really. And neither is Honda, Shizuka, Ryou or, um...Well, they're not all duelists!"
"...Fine. I'll endure them – for you."
"Yay!" He grinned. "I can't wait until tomorrow!"
Tomorrow? Kaiba repeated in his mind as Mokuba hopped, jumped, and skipped out of the room. Great. Just great. I just can't frickin' wait...
X
DIS: Hmm, kind of short and not as funny as I'd like. I kind of made Kaiba OOC, so I'll have to mend that next chapter. Might I remind you all that this is going to be a rather short fic, so don't expect much out of it. Please review and I'd love ideas! Ciao.