Disclaimer: My, but I love this show. I own no piece of it, but am grateful to those that do!
Long day. That didn't quite begin to describe it, did it?
As he stepped out of the precinct, thoughts of Kate momentarily loosened their grip, and Castle was struck by the normal hustle & bustle of the city. They were a comfort, the familiar sights and sounds of rush hour, and disconcerting at the same time. How strange that none of these people around him knew how close they'd all been to losing everything.
Without having to think it, Castle knew that he hadn't begun to process the preceding twenty-four hours, not really. On three separate occasions, he had looked into Kate's eyes while death danced around them, always getting closer. He had thought, twice, that he might well be letting go of his daughter for the last time. And in the end, he had been the one to diffuse the bomb. He had been.
Even with his writer's mind, usually so quick to absorb and catalog, it was too much to take in all at once. So as he neared home, he tried to keep his focus narrow – get through the door, put his arms around Alexis, thank his mother, eat, shower, sleep. Every time his mind would flash to Kate, he reined it in as quickly as he could. Home, Alexis, sleep. Home, Alexis, sleep.
His heart sank when he stepped inside and realized he'd beaten them back. Glancing at his watch, he knew he could expect them any minute, but for the time being the house was empty. He looked up and saw the shower curtain stretched in front of his office, the projector. He saw Kate sitting next to him on the sofa, and the rest came before he could do anything to stop it.
He saw the streetlights flashing across her face as they drove (even in the moment it had occurred to him how ridiculous it was that he could be distracted by her beauty at a time like this). He saw her emptying her gun into the warehouse, saw the hope leaving her eyes as the cold took effect, saw it shining again as she looked at Josh. Saw her in front of him as he grasped the bundle of wires in his hand. Saw her expression of relief and disbelief and joy. The puzzlement as he backed away and bid her good night.
"I was thinking maybe. . ."
Maybe what, Rick? He let out a humorless laugh. Never would he have believed that he could face death and still hold back, that the timing would still be wrong. If it hadn't been right today, when would it ever be? And what did it matter in the end? She hadn't exactly made any tearful confessions, either, and she was going home with someone else. He grimaced and closed his eyes against the images he was sure that thought would bring, but they flew open almost instantly as he heard a key turning in the lock.
For so many reasons, Richard Castle had never been more grateful for the two women who were rushing through the door, coming home to him. As Alexis's grip tightened around his waist, he remembered what Esposito had said (what he himself had said) and smiled down at his beautiful daughter. Holding her close, he could never forget that he was a lucky man indeed.