*Insert Story Title Here*

One: Dry Bones - A Light in My World

...

Bowser couldn't believe what I had just said. He blinked a few times, maybe to see whether he was dreaming or not, but he wasn't. Oh, come on, I thought. You are not dreaming, this is just the horrible reality. Please say something, anything, so I can get out of this terrible place.

Finally, he did say something, and that something was the very sentence I had thought he would say.

"But why?!"

Luckily, I had prepared myself with possible answers to the possible questions he might ask. Whenever you're gonna have a conversation with the Lord of Lava, you can't just get out there and converse like normal people. You have to come prepared, or the wrong answers might just land you in his lava moat. Don't laugh! It's true - it happened the other day to Goomboss the head Goomba. Bowser asked to "speak" with him and he came out without arming himself with answers. The next day, I was positive I saw Goomboss' durable fireproof shoe floating in the lava moat near the east wing.

But before I could say any word of the smart answer I've prepared for myself ("My family's moving to Los Angeles"), Bowser went on, "But why?! You're one of my most loyal servants, Dry Bones!"

Yup. There it was. Bowser had even said it himself.

The truth is, I'm TIRED of being someone else's filthy servant. I've always wanted to be an independent skeleton for a change. I'd like to be rid of the problems you have to cope with if you live here in Bowser's Castle... And the rules! The rules are the most exasperating and frustrating of them all. Don't say anything funny or you'll end up in the lava moat. Don't do anything funny or you'll end up in the lava moat. Don't tell Bowser Jr. what he can and can't do or you'll end up in the lava moat. Whenever Mario comes here, you better make sure you defeat him or you'll end up in the lava moat. And whatever you do, never EVER touch Bowser's prized pinball machine or you'll end up in the nastiest part of the lava moat.

"I'm sorry Lord Bowser, but I'm moving to another part of Mushroom Kingdom," I said, sighing and dropping my Los Angeles story. It had just occurred to me that it would be very awkward if I did say I was moving to Los Angeles but Bowser saw me watching tennis tournaments in Peach Court the next day. No. I'm going to have to be more careful, which means, no Los Angeles.

"But you can't just quit!"

"I'm sorry my lord, but there's nothing else I can do."

"Dry Bones is right," Kamek, Bowser's advisor and personal assistant chimed in. "He's moving far, far away to another part of the Mushroom Kingdom, along with his parents and sister and-"

"SILENCE!" Bowser bellowed, glaring at Kamek. "Did anyone grant you permission to speak?" Kamek withered slightly and squeaked, "No, sir! Sorry, sir!"

Kamek. Of everyone here in the castle, I have to admit that Kamek is the closest one to me. Other than having revived me after the Mario Party Hexoskeleton incident, he was always there to back me up.

Bowser turned back to me. "You're staying here."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that's not possible, my lord Bowser."

I could just see Bowser's rage bubbling. He didn't like what I was saying at all. Suddenly he erupted with rage and roared, "YOU ARE STAYING HERE!"

He suddenly roared and shot a column of lava at me. Now, you might think that I'm just a lonely bag of bones with no other special skills rather than springing back up after most attacks. But since the Mario Party guys zapped me with magic, I'd somehow gained a bit of magical powers, especially that over thunderbolts and electricity.

I made a shield of electricity around myself, which repelled Bowser's lava attack. Bowser simply stood there opening and closing his mouth wordlessly like a goldfish, and I felt a bit proud of myself.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm leaving," I said again. "Goodbye."

And that was that.