A/N: An idea I got while on the phone with a friend. I had to write it. XD Total crack story. But I can see Sakura and Yuuko holed up talking about yaoi for some reason. Once Sakura could get over the initial blood loss and shock, of course…
Princess, Princess
Some days were ordinary, like when they were able to relax after finding a feather or landing in world without one. But even those days were sometimes… unconventional.
"Good morning, Fai-san!" Sakura chimed, looking up from washing dishes.
Fai smiled, "Good morning to you too, Sakura-chan," he murmured warmly, his voice uncharacteristically heavy with sleep. Sakura turned, eyeing Fai scrupulously, noting his disheveled clothes and hair. Finally, a smug grin spread across her face, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a crescent-shaped bruise on the magician's pale neck.
"You know, Fai-san, I support you and Kurogane-san one-hundred percent," she commended, nodding as she returned to the soap-filled sink.
"Wha…? Whatever could you be talking about, Sakura-chan?" the blonde laughed sheepishly, waving a hand to dismiss the idea.
"Your neck, Fai-san," she murmured with a blush, dropping a plate lightly onto a towel. "Tell Kurogane-san to be more careful with you."
Fai turned a deep red, Mokona giggling conspiratorially, hopping onto his head. "Fai and Kuro, sittin' in a tree f-u-c…" it sang loudly.
"MANJU!!! If I hear you in the next three seconds, you will be flushed down the toilet!" growled a disgruntled ninja from the hallway.
Mokona jumped into Fai's arms as Kurogane came stomping into the room, squealing in (mock?) fear. The creature cuddled into the blonde's chest as Kurogane glared at Fai, who stared at him placidly, cheeks ablaze.
The ninja coughed awkwardly, and Fai shifted a little, a secretive smirk spreading across his face.
Sakura giggled, clapping softly. She breezed over to Fai, lifting Mokona out of his arms, "C'mon, Moko-chan. Let's leave them alone for now," she hummed conspiratorially, flitting from the room. "Please, do be more gentle this time, Kurogane-san."
"What was that about?" Kurogane asked, a little more than a little confused.
Fai's blush darkened, "She, ah, knows."
"What?!"
"She figured it out herself," Fai whispered, shrugging, "What can I say, Kuro-pup? You were a little loud last night!" he teased, poking Kurogane in the stomach.
"Me?! You practically screamed," Kurogane hissed, lightly smacking away Fai's hand.
"Mm, but that was your fault too."
The ninja rolled his eyes as Syaoran entered into the kitchen, looking at the two 'guardians' warily. "G-good morning," he mumbled; he, too, was slightly pink.
"What's the matter, Syaoran-kun? Are you sick?" Fai fussed, swooping over to lay his hand on his 'child's' forehead, instantly switching into 'mother' mode.
"It's well… the Princess," he said.
The two adults nodded knowingly as if the answer explained it all. It seemed the girl was on a tirade today.
"Say, Syaoran-kun, about Sakura…" Fai mused, wandering off. "How does she…?" He waved his hand through the air, gesturing fluidly despite his lack of words.
"Oh, you mean about you two?"
"Oi, the kid knows too!?" "Oh, hush, Kuro-sama." "…Sorry, Kurogane-san, but Sakura-hime told me…" "Oh." "Anyway, Syaoran-kun…?"
"Well… She's always been like that," Syaoran admitted.
"Really?" Fai leaned forward in interest. "Is it her magic?"
"Uh, no…" Syaoran shifted, his cheeks darkening, "Well, you see, there was her brother, Prince Touya, and… there was the High Priest… and they two… well, you've seen them before…"
Fai blinked, then his eyes widened in realization, "OH! You mean those two from Hanshin? They looked really close… OH! You mean, oh!! Dear me."
Syaoran nodded, "Yeah. I remember it too; when Sakura-hime was about eight, and her brother was sixteen or so… And, well, she came to me—I of course was ten, and my father was very thorough in…research…" he waved his hand, shaking his head to clear it, "This is what happened…"
Syaoran sat on his bed, flipping through a new book he'd bought on his last trip with his father; across the room, Fujitaka was working on a draft for his newest project when there came a knock on the door.
"Come in," Fujitaka called.
A small, hyper princess came bursting through the door, a basket in hand, rolls and fruit spilling out as she swung it around looking for Syaoran, "Syaoran-kun!" She cried.
Syaoran rose from his bed, "Princess, you're dropping things!" he cried, rushing forward to pick things up.
Sakura pouted, dropping the entire basket on the floor, "Sakura!" she cried, crossing her arms.
"But Princess—!"
"SA-KU-RA!"
Fujitaka laughed at the daily exchange, "Hello, Sakura-chan," he said warmly.
"Good afternoon!" the girl greeted, inclining her head, "The food is for you! May I borrow Syaoran-kun?"
"You're welcome to it."
Sakura bowed quickly, then grabbed her friend, dragging him off into the town. "I wanna ask you something!"
"O-okay, what is it, Sakura-hi…Sakura?"
The girl grinned over her shoulder, "I'm gonna show you!"
"Oh my," Fai gasped, hand over his heart; "Did she do what I think she did?"
"Uh… well, yeah."
Fai giggled nervously, "Hyuuu…"
Kurogane ogled Syaoran, astonished; "Kids these days," he grunted.
"You're not that old, Kuro-sama," Fai soothed, laying a hand on the ninja's arm. "But, Syaoran-kun, you two were young, you really… did you really know? Like, what they were doing: Did you understand it?"
Syaoran hung his head, looking like his face was about to explode, his cheeks a shade of red even a rose would admire. "We-well! We didn't know then! She definitely didn't! So she thought I would!"
"Did you?" Kurogane prompted, a little more than horrified at the idea of the little princess being a voyeur. (It was his "daughter" after all…)
"NO!" Syaoran denied, fervently waving his hands in the air. One could literally see the steam coming from his ears. "In the end, we had to look it up!"
Fai and Kurogane exchanged equally horrified looks as they imagined a young Sakura and Syaoran reading books about sex. It was one of the few times Kurogane's face ever slid from a scowl and Fai's from a smile; it was even rarer because they shared the exact same look.
"No…" Fai breathed, "You didn't… did you?"
"Y-ye-yes…"
"Where the hell did you get a book like that?! You certainly aren't of age!" Kurogane blurted.
"W-well, like I said…my father… was very… well researched… he had books on just about everything. I thought Sakura-hime was going to die! There was so much blood coming out of her nose!" he mumbled, fidgeting and waving his hands in the air, agitated at the memory.
"Well, sex is a central part of culture," Fai mused, leaning against the counter, his cheeks red. "Revered in some places… but…Wow. You say she got a nosebleed? Well… at least the reaction was innocent enough," he muttered darkly.
Kurogane looked like he was about to throttle someone, most likely Fujitaka. Or Touya for starting the charade.
"We… didn't understand it… but Sakura-hime has been a yaoi fangirl ever since," Shaoran admitted, turning a darker shade of red.
Fai shook his head, "Wow. Just… wow."
"Kids these days," Kurogane repeated.
… …
In her room, Sakura lay on her stomach, kicking her feet in the air as she talked to Yuuko and Mokona.
"But really, I thought it would never happen!" she cried happily, "They always seemed so dead-set against each other."
Yuuko took a swig of her liquor, giggling slightly, "That's Hitsuzen for you, Sakura-chan."
"Oh!" Sakura perked, then sat up, rummaging under her pillow. "I finished that manga you let me borrow, Yuuko-san. It was really good! By any chance, do you have the next volume? I really want to see what happens to Misaki next!"
Yuuko nodded, holding up the next volume of a specific, popular, yaoi manga; "Just send it through Mokona."
The white Mokona smirked, "Oh, Yuuko! Have you forgotten about our bet?"
Yuuko sighed dramatically, "No, I guess that means I lost.... I hate to part with good sake, but my two are so stubborn! I wish they'd just make out already!"
Sakura giggled as a manga and several bottles of hard liquor popped out of Mokona's mouth. "They'll end up together… eventually. Now, Yuuko-san, what should we do with the drinks? I'm thinking that if we get them drunk, possibly they will…"
Back in the kitchen, Fai and Kurogane were suddenly overcome with a fit of sneezing. Syaoran sweatdropped.
END