Author's note: The last time I wrote a Paradise Kiss fanfic was way too long for me to even remember. I finally made another one and I hope you like this. I should warn you that English is not my best and so as grammar. I apologize in advance for any error.
Disclaimer: I could have been rich if I own Paradise Kiss.
--
I can't help but laugh at myself. I feel my life turn into a wreck. Perhaps I may be happy with the money I earn and the fame I get from modeling. Very material. At first, I thought that being a model would brine to somewhere misery would be void. Ironic as it is, money is but nothing, a piece of paper that could buy you the temporary indulgence you would wish to have, but never will it bring love. But what is love? What could a word as such mean other than its dictionary definition? Love. It is sometimes a crucial word humans live by. For me, love, was a chance I let pass by. Too swift that I was just a taste of it when it was over.
I don't know how I ended up at this lonely park Alone with nothing but the inanimate empty sandbox and a pebble that lies on the ground.
I can no longer bear in mind the last time I cried, I think I lost the ability to shed a tear, even a single drop for it was tiring. Really exhausting that I would want to submit to an eternal catatonia. Trully, importance can never be appreciated till you cannot anymore bring back something of significance.
If a tear is a dollar worth, then, I could have been one of the richest being who surfaced on earth.
The memory of his beautiful face when he left me was one of things I can still remember besides from the scent of his heavy cologne and the weight of his hand upon my shoulder.
The bluish sky hark back the color of his eyes, to which I drown most of the time, and his cropped hair that always made me run my fingers to slowly fades away from my memories.
The sky seems to stand for my stance that it made the billows darken, and as expected tiny droplets of water descended. The clouds started a soft tantrum continuing to a vicious outburst hurting and hurling the land then and there.
I could care less. I do not give a damn if I get sick. I do not give a shit if I cannot attend the photo shoot tomorrow. I do not even bother if my body would be found lifeless and rotten tomorrow. I am not intending to commit suicide but if it would be possible for a lightning to strike me, then, why not?
Perchance the rain is an accustomed game of masquerade where you can cry your deepest sorrow with or without tears. A shower of chance to blame yourself for every adversity that crossed your way. But it would be better if it can send you something miraculous. Something who can erase the burden you have. Someone who can mend your torn fragmented heart. Someone who can save you. Someone who is- looking for you.
I can't help but sob. My fingers dug thorough the wooden seat under me and so as my foot that nearly bore holes upon the ground.
I hate myself.
I don't know for how long have I been sitting here and how wet my clothes are. The only thing I am concerned now is nothing but yesterday.
"Hayasaka…" Funny, hallucination also agreed with my situation.
The pitter-patter was another hallucination. Is this how I badly want someone to rescue.
The rustling of trees furiously sounded that it blocked the sound of my hallucinatory savior.
I am afraid.
AFRAID.
"Hayasaka..." An approaching silhouette.
"Hayasaka!" Closer.
"Hayasaka!!" To an arms length away.
I lift my lowered head only to meet the gaze from a tall figure. His eyes, I never expected. I saw him dramatically throw the umbrella away then embraced me.
"H-e-r-o…" I silently mouthed his name.
A treasure, his weep corroded his known poise. I felt his warm body against mine. His warm heart that touched my stoned heart. His embrace that took away my pain and inside his chest was something genuine.
"What have you done to yourself?" He whispered and released me from the contact. His piercing stare searched deep all the way through my wet puffy brown eyes.
His long fingers brushed my long hair away from my face. Wiping the water that gathered upon the sides of my eyes. His touch drove the rain away and so as the feeling of emptiness that broke my soul. He gently cupped my face pushing his face closer to mine. It was as if we were staring for each other for eternity that I didn't notice his lips to mine. We shared our first passionate kiss. He shared my pain.
He is careful to leave enough room to breathe.
"I- I love you, Hayasaka…" His swollen lips whispered. "Don't force yourself too much. I don't care if you don't love me… really, as long as you are by my side." He said. His eyes blazed with love and affection.
"Thank you… for loving me…"
All the time I was insensitive. I didn't know that his worries and company when George was gone was a sign that he loves me. I was too dumb to realize that he was the one capable of mending my scattered heart. And it was because of him that I have once again felt the sensation of love.
Could I love him back?
OWARI
Author's note: This was not supposed to turn too angst!! Argh!! Humor, my next genre… Review are greatly appreciated "
kira-chan05 (03-12-07), Revised (09/12/08 00:31)