Author: sup; well I'm band from serial killers and what not so I've moved on to hentai like comedies
Enjoy
Sasuke's pov
I was walking through the hallways of the camp, the stupid, stupid camp site, when I heard some voices from Naruto's room; we were supposed to not have guests in our rooms after 5:00. It is now 6:00.
Just as I pressed my ear to the door, I saw my brother, Itachi, and his mates. Deidara and Sasori.
"Otouto, what the hell are you doing? Go back to your room" Itachi ordered then stopped to watch me leave.
I just put a finger to my lips and gave him a look that said shut-up-or-we-will-miss-out-on-something-good, and motioned for all of them to join in, and they did so non-questioningly.
Time to speak the Uchiha code, I thought
"Hn" what are we doing?
"Hn" someone's in there with Naruto, I wanna find out whom.
"Hn" so why are we here?
"Hn" when did Sasori learn the Uchiha code?
"Hn" I taught him
"Hn" cool, now Shh
"I feel left out of the loop" Deidara wailed not so quietly
"HN" shut the fuck up or we will go black and pop a cap in your ass! (All of us except Deidara)
"Hn" (Deidara's attempt at Uchiha code) not words
"Are… are you okay?" I asked a little concerned for his mental well being
"OFCOARSE I'M OK-mph" Itachi and Sasori covered his mouth
"What part of black, cap and ass did you not understand?" I whispered maybe a little bit too harshly seeing as he looked about ready to shit himself.
We pressed our ears to the door and heard:
"Oh come on Naruto can we please do it?" I know that voice, that's sakura, I felt Itachi tense up next to me. He was really possessive over sakura, well considering he has had a crush on her since he was like thirteen (sakura was 6).
"No, I'm tired go do it with sasuke" Naruto groaned, are they talking about what I think, and why did he use me as the substitute, not that I would mind having sex with sakura, though I sure Itachi would kill me if he found out about that time in the hot spring…
"but I wanna do it with you, besides sasuke isn't as enjoyable when I'm with him like last time we did it, he pretty much just sat there while I did everything" she complained
I was yanked away from the door and was forced to look into Itachi's angry eyes and in fact I think I saw the iris flash red.
"What are they talking about?" I could tell he was about to totally rip my head off but I really wanna know what's going on
"Later" I put my ear back the door long enough to hear sakura say
"Besides his isn't as big as yours in fact compared to yours his is like a house to the universe" I see Itachi smirk, he had heard
"Well, let's start then" Naruto (from what I could hear) grinned "because we all knew how terrible your sensei, ole baa-chan, was terrible at this while my teacher, perv sage, is great at it"
"Well, I'm good at it, and you should know from past experiences "
"This is true"
"What can I do now?"
"You can suck it"
Then all you can hear is some rustling
"Ah... fuck sakura why are you so good at this?" Naruto groaned
"Practice makes perfect and we get a lot of practice don't we?"
It was silent for a few minutes, and I finally noticed Sasori was holding a voice recorder and Deidara had a nose bleed and Itachi was practically radiating the aura of the devil himself.
Then we heard:
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh" for sakura getting higher and higher in pitch
"Oh, fuck yeah Naruto!" sakura all but screamed
"Sakura, you're so damn good" Naruto groaned
I'm assuming this is all Itachi could take cause next thing I knew the door was gone and I was standing there with my ear to nothing like a god damn idiot.
"What the hell's going…on…in… here?" Itachi's protest died down when we saw that Naruto was looking very gloomy on the bed while sakura was doing some sort of victory dance.
"V for victory" and she made a peace sign
"Yo, guys shouldn't you be in your rooms and why does Sasori have a camera?" Naruto went from happy to confused in a matter of seconds when he spotted us
"I could ask you the same thing and why do you have a camera?" we all stared at Sasori
"There's no law against it and I wanna see how this plays out" he held his camera higher in exaggeration
"So what's going on?" I ask
"We are playing cards duh" sakura looked at us like we should know better
"But from outside it sounded like you were…" Deidara stoped mid-sentence turning beet red
"We were what" they both asked at the same time
…
"Having sex" Itachi finally answered while I was readying myself for whatever they would do
And of course they had to be smartasses and do something I wasn't prepared for.
They laughed their asses off.
"Me… him… sex…" sakura managed to gasp between her laughing fit and possible seizure.
"You… thought… us "Naruto wheezed out between his laughing attack and possible lung damage.
We didn't understand. They pointed to the bed where we saw a deck of cards deal out for blackjack and seems as though sakura won. That would explain a lot.
"What about you say that Naruto's... Erm... Groin is bigger than Sasuke's?" Itachi directed at sakura
"I was talking about egos; whilst Sasuke's is big Naruto's makes it look non-existent." Well done.
"Does this mean you're still virgin?" of course Itachi had to ruin it
"Yes"
Shock when through me
"Whoah wait, what about that time at the hot spring?" I asked and I knew that was the wrong thing to say
"What did you do to cherry's innocence?" Itachi could kill ten men just by looking at them
"Uh, Itachi, bro" I said putting up my hands in surrender
"Sasuke, we've never been to a hot spring" she looked confused
"So, it was a dream, never mind" Deidara face palmed
*click* (end of recording)
"Perfect, I'm going to put this on YouTube" Sasori ran before we could protest.
Me, Itachi and Naruto tried to go after him but sasuke tripped on the rug and fell on Naruto, somewhere in this process their lips met and of course Itachi fell on top of that.
Mental image: Naruto is being straddled by sasuke who is kissing him, while Itachi looks like he is taking sasuke from behind
*flash*(snapshot)
"Facebook" and Sasori took off again
And sakura just made it ten times worse
"Such a Kodak moment"
"FUCK YOU SASORI AKANOSUNA"
Ten minutes later the police were involved because one of the residents heard the yelling.
And while the police were keeping them busy on the other side of the campground, you could hear maniacal cackling and on the screen of a dark red laptop were the words '100% complete- upload is finished'
A/N: so ya like tell me or don't your choice, (don't choose the latter) love me