A/N: This is set sometime during season six, but I guess it's a little more AU than cannon
Disclaimer: All mine! Mine I say! Anybody believe me? Crickets chirping Right then, everything Buffy-related belongs to Joss and Co.
A/N: This is set sometime during season six, but I guess it's a little more AU than cannon. This story has been rattling around in my head for a couple of weeks now and for the sake of my sanity I decided not to re-watch all of season six to decide exactly what episode I wanted it set after. So for the purposes of this story, Buffy and Spike are at the beginning of their little dysfunctional relationship, Willow and Tara are still together, everyone knows that Buffy was in heaven, and Tara knows about Spike and Buffy.
Special thanks to my beta, Courtney! You rock!
Part 1
Tara and Willow sat at a back table in the Bronze, talking softly. When Buffy had suggested they take a night off, they had jumped at the chance. In fact, Willow felt more than a little guilty at how quickly they had jumped at the chance. The tension level in the house had skyrocketed since Buffy's revelation and Willow had no idea where to start fixing it. However, both girls were determined to enjoy their alone time. They had each dressed in the other's favorite outfit. Tara wore a pale blue, long-sleeved blouse with a slightly darker blue A-frame skirt. The v-neck of the blouse was a bit lower than Tara usually felt comfortable wearing, but she justified it that it was for Willow. Willow wore Tara's favorite tan peasant top and a long, flowing black skirt.
Their conversation was cut short by a loud screech that came across the house speakers. They turned their attention to the stage as the bartender made his way up.
"Welcome to open mic night at the Bronze!" This brought a general cheer from the crowd.
"Tonight we have our usual treat for the LADIES!" An even louder cheer went up from the female population of the bar. He was forced to wait a couple minutes for it to die down so he could finish.
"Welcome Spike!"
Again the cheers went up.
Tara looked over at Willow. "Did he just say Spike?"
Willow nodded. "Yeah, I think he did."
Together they moved closer to the dance floor so they had a better view. Indeed, it was the blonde vampire that was silently fixing the height of the microphone stand as the bartender made his way off stage. There was a stool on the stage behind him and a guitar in a stand next to it. The two moved closer, careful not to draw his attention. They shared a look then turned back to the stage, waiting to see what the vampire was up to.
"Yeah, well, this song was written for the same bird I always sing for." He paused a moment giving the crowd his famous smirk, "even if she would st… kill me if she knew."
The crowd murmured quietly, while he took a seat on the stool behind him, picked up his guitar and carefully tuned it.
Willow picked up a conversation that was going on behind her.
"Oh, he is so sexy. I can't believe his girl doesn't appreciate him." A female voice spoke.
"I know. You can so totally tell he's completely in love with her." Her female companion responded. "If he was mine, I don't know if I would even let him out of the house."
They share a laugh.
Willow looked over at Tara who was doing her best to seem very interested in the ice melting in her drink.
"Tara, do you know…" Willow's question was cut off by the soft music coming from the stage, much to Tara's relief.
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight, spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back into the arms of Grace
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah
Where I want to be
I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm
Trying to identify the voices in my head, God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel alive
And break these calluses off of me, one more time
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door
And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah
I don't want a thing from you
Bet your tired of me waiting for the scraps
To fall off your table to the ground
'Cause I just want to be here now
'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say and
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah
Where I want to be
Where I want to be
Willow couldn't do anything but stare at Spike as the last cords of the song faded away.
"Well, thanks." Spike's sultry voice said over the microphone, sending most of the women's hearts fluttering if the deafening roar of applause was any indicator. He gave a little smirk before he bowed and walked off stage.
Tuning the next performer out, Willow turned to Tara as they made their way back to their table and sat back down.
"Do you know something?"
"Um… I can't r-r-really say." Tara stuttered. It wasn't her secret to share. She made an effort to seem completely absorbed in the chore of setting her drink down on the napkin in front of her.
"Come on. Now I know you know something. What did I miss?" Willow asked, giving Tara her resolve face.
"Well, you know how much Spike l-l-loves Buffy, right?" Tara didn't look at her girlfriend as she asked this, instead concentrating on drawing patterns in the condensation on her drink.
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with…" Willow trailed off as she realized what this meant.
"But that doesn't mean that Buffy…"
Tara looked up to meet Willows astonished gaze. "T-t-they've been s-s-seeing each other."
Willow's look of astonishment changed to a look of shock with a dash of disgust added in. "But it's SPIKE! And why didn't she tell me? I'm her best friend!"
"If you could see your face, sweetie, you would know why Buffy didn't tell you. She didn't even mean to tell me, it just kind of slipped out. You know she's been having a hard time dealing since she's been … back. And Spike has been… helping her."
"Yeah, but she could have talked to us. She didn't have to turn to Spike." Willow replied, indignantly.
Slowly Tara shook her head. "No she couldn't. We didn't want to hear it. Even now that we k-k-know where she w-w-was, everyone has been expecting her to just… get over it and be happy. B-b-be happy in a way that is 'acceptable.'"
Willow wanted to dispute that comment, but she found that she couldn't. Even before they knew that Buffy had been in heaven, they had expected her to be grateful and happy about being alive.
"I don't understand." She whispered. "How could I miss this?"
Tara put a comforting hand on Willow's arm. "They've been v-v-very careful."
"But she's just using him right?" Willow asked almost hopefully.
"I don't think so, sweetie. Watch them, the next time they're together. She cares about him. I just think she feels that she can't let herself because of what you, Xander and Giles would think."
"But Spike is, like, evil, right?"
"Willow." Tara admonished. "When is the last time he did something evil? And would an evil vampire really take care of Dawn and watch out for the rest of us while Buffy was… gone?"
Seeing the determination on her lover's face, Willow did think about it. And she couldn't come up with a time when Spike had done something evil, at least not in the last couple of years. Taking care of Dawn and watching out for the other Scoobies couldn't be put down to anything other than his feelings and his promise to Buffy because she hadn't been there to see it and they certainly hadn't paid him.
"So what do we do?" Willow asked softly.
A mischievous grin broke out on Tara's face. "We help."
Tara stood, pulled Willow up with her and made her way over to the bar. It took a few minutes, but she finally got the attention of the bartender.
"Hey, that guy, Spike, does he sing every open mic night?" Tara asked, amazing even herself that she was able to do it without stuttering.
The heavyset bartender looked over the two girls standing before him. "Yep. But you're wasting your time, ladies."
"What do you mean?" Willow asked, a bit more harshly than she intended.
The bartender scowled at her, but answered her question anyway. "Because every female that has ever tried to talk to him after a performance has left disappointed. Whoever those songs are dedicated to, he's loyal."
A group of boisterous college kids stumbled up to the bar at that time, demanding the bartender's attention. He held up a hand, telling them to wait a minute.
"Anything else?"
Seeing that neither Tara nor Willow had any other questions and weren't interested in ordering a drink, he left them to their own thoughts.
The next morning Tara and Willow stood outside Spike's crypt. The harsh light of day left Willow reconsidering their plan.
"Are we sure this is the right thing to do?" She asked, looking over at Tara.
Tara sighed. She had hoped Buffy and Spike's display last night had shown Willow the truth of the matter. They had come in from patrolling arguing like always. But that hadn't stopped Buffy from cleaning and bandaging a wound on Spike's head. Tara had made sure that Willow had seen the tenderness with which Buffy had touched the blonde vampire.
"You saw what I was talking about. What's the problem now?" Tara asked, frustrated. True, she hadn't known Spike when he had actually been evil, but she couldn't understand everyone's current reluctance to see him as anything else.
It was Willow's turn to sigh. "I don't know. It's just that, it's Spike. Should we knock?"
"Well, that would be polite."
Just then the door to the crypt swung open and a voice came from the darkness. "Ladies, are you going to come in or stand there all day?"
A/N 2: In case you were wondering the song is Breathing by Lifehouse. This is my first FFN posted fic so reviews? Pretty please? With sugar and whip cream and a cherry?