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It Rains When I Laugh

One-Shot

Where is your happy place? Is it in the mountains that span your mind? Is it in the fields that span our globe? The plains of the great west? How about the beaches on the coast? An island in one of the 10,000 lakes of Minnesota? Or maybe its just in your room. Where ever it is, I hope your happy.

I'm not.

My happy place only comes in the spring. That's when cherry blossoms fall and flowers grow. That's when people melt off their ice cold hearts and begin anew. When new life is brought forth by the rain. The rain is my happy place, where ever it is. In the rivers or streams, in the highlands or plains. My happy place comes with the rain. And right now, it's raining.

It's raining on the cliff in the highest mountain I'm on. It's raining on the trails down below. No one is here today. It seems so bleak and dreary to a normal person, but to me, it's absolute bliss. It falls and caresses my skin, holding me affectionately in its grasp, keeping me warm and cool all at once. It clings to my skin, never letting go, willing me to stay on the cliff, and not fall to the river below.

Today though, I have to leave it behind. The rain that made me laugh as a child now blows harshly in the sky, as if its moved on to someone else who needs its warmth. Its moved on from me, who once praised its grasp, now to someone who praises it more. The rain won't hold me again. Never again, will it show me a glimpse of hope as it once did.

"Goodbye," I whispered into the wind. I took my first step towards the cliff. The thought of a friend comes to mind. I said goodbye to her just today. I wanted to tell him I'm so sorry for all I've done, wanted to hold her and hear her say stop. I wanted just that, but what I said confused her. Now she's at home, I bet, being loved by her lover. He's so sweet, that I felt happy for her once the two fell in love. I always wondered if it would happen to me, but no, the world goes on without me.

"Goodbye Kairi. Goodbye Sora," I whispered as I took my second step. The wind picks up and reminds me of a storm that hit the area. The storm changed the lives of two of my best friends. Hayner and Olette. They were in the woods camping when it hit, completely unknown from the radar. It was so severe that the chances of them surviving it were slim. But they made it. They took shelter in a cave for two days before the storm blew over and help could come. They were both starved, cold, but something stood out. They had only one blanket and shared it, holding onto each other for the strength to survive. They survived when others in the woods didn't. Now they're closer than ever, sharing so many secrets and thoughts, even holding hands and kissing in the night. That never happened to me. No one saved me. No one held me when I was cold but the rain.

"Goodbye Olette. Goodbye Hayner," I whispered. My third steps put me precariously overlooking the cliff. A small fire is noticed in the distance. Lightning had struck the tree. The smoke reminded me of Riku. Riku was my brother. He always knew what do and always kept bullies away from me when I was little. He taught me how to love the snow, when I thought it was too cold to play in. He's a senior now. When he was a junior, he got mixed up with drugs and substances. He was so into them, that he literally blew all of the family off. But there, in that world of drugs and gangs, he met Xion. Xion was an abused girl, his age, that escaped through drugs. She served her gang leaders with whatever they wanted. Riku, repulsed by this, even with his own plight, set out to save her. They became very close and for a few months, all was well between them. They became the closest of friends, sharing their wishes and dreams, as well as their secrets. But for a week, Xion ceased to show up. Then, Riku found out she was running away from the gang that had she had served so faithfully. So he beat up every single gang member, claiming he would kill them if they touched her again. Soon after, the gang broke up, and Xion and Riku moved together to a college to enhance their lives together. She had a savior. He had a purpose. I don't have either.

"Goodbye Riku. Goodbye Xion," I whispered into the roaring river below. The water. It flowed so harmlessly, so free, it made me remember a time when one person made me so happy. He was just there when I needed him, there when I was lonely. He taught me how to laugh in the rain. His spirit was so free, so light, seeming to float with the sky as life went on and on. He always said to laugh when your sad, laugh when your happy. He cleared the clouds in my head, and even if just one, a small beam of sunlight burst through the dark clouds, giving me a glimpse of the sky above. In the end, a glimpse is just a glimpse. Even he, who made me so happy, could only give me a glimpse. A glimpse of what could be, of what could happen.

I take the final step towards the edge of the cliff. You can see the wind as it swirls underneath me, the river thrashing about its shores. The birds were crying while animals took shelter in the forest behind me. At the edge of the cliff, a single flower has closed its once pure red blossom, now to only show a bud. The rain falls harder and harder on to my shoulders. I take the final step and allow the wind to carry me away.

"Don't you dare!"

I step back and fall onto my back. I look back and notice a black hooded figure running towards me. His steps quicken as I collapse onto my side, tired from the pain of the loneliness, the pain of the invisibility. He falls next to me and latches himself to my torso.

"Don't you dare leave me alone! Don't!"

I look at his face, a collection of a fair complexion and cerulean eyes that match the color of the sky I once imagined. He's crying into my shoulder, trying to stop the inevitable, holding me back from freedom.

"I don't want to be lonely again," I whisper. "So I wanted to go somewhere where their isn't rain. I could see my grandma, my grandpa. Maybe Mom and Dad if I wanted to."

"Don't. You're not alone. You aren't alone!"

We sit there contemplating our thoughts. Finally, he stands up and lifts me into his arms.

"You will never be alone Namine. I'm right here."

I resist the urge to latch myself onto him, but eventually, he pulls my arms around him. Tears form in the wells of my eyes, and finally unleash themselves into the rain.

"It's so lonely. Riku's gone. Mom's gone. Dad's gone. Everyone is gone!"

"But I'm not! I'm right here!" he yells against the torrent of the rain. He leans in close and whispers into my ear. "I'll stay with you from now on. I knew you were lonely. I wanted to be by your side, but I couldn't. So much was happening with us both. But now, I will. I'm not leaving you ever again."

He takes me by the hand and pulls me towards the woods. The rain ceases in a miraculous moment of divinity, and the sky reveals itself to me once more.

"See Nami? It's right there," he says, with his trademark grin.

I look up. The clouds are dancing with the sky as the sun shines down in rays. Birds sing in circles above as animals move out from their shelter in the storm. A rainbow flows across the sky itself, blending all the colors into one.

He pointed into a small mud puddle on the ground shaped into a heart. He drew in some lines and words revealed themselves as they would on paper.

"I love you Nami," he whispered.

"I love you too, Roxas."

ARGH. THE ANGST OF IT ALL. I felt very happy writing this. I don't know why... xD

-an1995616