Story by SinisterMarmalade
I intend no disrespect, infringement or profit from Tenchi Muyo, View Askew or the creators of either.
THE MASAKI'S GET BONGED
Part 1: No Need For Stoners
It was early morning at the Masaki shrine. Tenchi Masaki listened to the birds chirp as he paused in his sweeping of the large stone steps to take in a deep breath of the sweet morning air. Hanging in the air, though, was the tang of sweeter smelling smoke. He looked towards the bottom of the steps where two young men were smoking strange cigarettes. One of them was tall, thin and very animated, with long blond hair tucked under a knit cap. The other was a bit portly, with a moustache and short beard. This latter figure seemed to tolerate the antics of the other with quiet resolve.
"This is the shit, Lunchbox! We got some sweet Chinese blunt, some music by Sex Machineguns, and I'm so high I could do some Matrix kung fu shit, hanging in the air for hours! I fucking love China! If China was a chick I'd fuck China! Hell, I'd fuck China if it was a guy! But I'm not gay you hentai fuck!" the animated one directed this last bit at the other. His friend looked at him for a moment, bemused. "What the fuck, Lunchbox? Did I grow an extra dick somewhere when I wasn't looking?"
"We're in Japan dumbass," the other responded.
"Fuck, Japan? Are you sure? Gimme the map, you portly fuck," said the first.
"Pardon me," said Tenchi, approaching them. "I couldn't help but overhear, but you are in Japan and standing in front of the Masaki shrine," said Tenchi helpfully. For some reason, everyone was speaking the same language fluently. "By the way, what is that strange incense you're burning?"
"You want a hit of this shit, man? I gotta warn you, its harsh," said the manic one. Following his instructions, Tenchi took a hit, held it for half a minute, and blew it out slowly. Soon, Tenchi was giggling maniacally about something. "Dude, you okay? I swear Lunchbox, this guy must be a blunt virgin." The other one nodded his agreement. Suddenly, inspiration struck Jay. "Yo Lunchbox," he whispered conspiratorially, "want to get this guy all fucked up?" The silent one that about it a minute, then enthusiastically nodded his head.
"Here man, swallow this," said the hyper one, handing Tenchi a strange pill. Tenchi should have known better, but in his current state he readily complied. Our somnambolic duo waited a few minutes.
"Alright, it should start to hit now," said guess who. He kneeled down to where Tenchi was rolling on the ground giggling unintelligibly. "Yo snoogans, I'm gonna let you in on some major top fucking secret shit okay?" Tenchi, suddenly all ears, just nodded. "I'm Jay and this is my fat ass sidekick, Silent Bob, and where from outer fucking space. There's this space pirate chick we're after, she likes to give blow jobs that eventually make your head explode. You know, the one you think with."
"AAAAAAHHHG!!! Ryoko wants to blow me!!" Tenchi said, running towards the temple in fear. From somewhere in the distance, Yosho's ears perked up.
"I should be so lucky. Well, there's always Ayeka," he muttered to himself and went back to his meditations.
End part 1.
I intend no disrespect, infringement or profit from Tenchi Muyo, View Askew or the creators of either.
THE MASAKI'S GET BONGED
Part 1: No Need For Stoners
It was early morning at the Masaki shrine. Tenchi Masaki listened to the birds chirp as he paused in his sweeping of the large stone steps to take in a deep breath of the sweet morning air. Hanging in the air, though, was the tang of sweeter smelling smoke. He looked towards the bottom of the steps where two young men were smoking strange cigarettes. One of them was tall, thin and very animated, with long blond hair tucked under a knit cap. The other was a bit portly, with a moustache and short beard. This latter figure seemed to tolerate the antics of the other with quiet resolve.
"This is the shit, Lunchbox! We got some sweet Chinese blunt, some music by Sex Machineguns, and I'm so high I could do some Matrix kung fu shit, hanging in the air for hours! I fucking love China! If China was a chick I'd fuck China! Hell, I'd fuck China if it was a guy! But I'm not gay you hentai fuck!" the animated one directed this last bit at the other. His friend looked at him for a moment, bemused. "What the fuck, Lunchbox? Did I grow an extra dick somewhere when I wasn't looking?"
"We're in Japan dumbass," the other responded.
"Fuck, Japan? Are you sure? Gimme the map, you portly fuck," said the first.
"Pardon me," said Tenchi, approaching them. "I couldn't help but overhear, but you are in Japan and standing in front of the Masaki shrine," said Tenchi helpfully. For some reason, everyone was speaking the same language fluently. "By the way, what is that strange incense you're burning?"
"You want a hit of this shit, man? I gotta warn you, its harsh," said the manic one. Following his instructions, Tenchi took a hit, held it for half a minute, and blew it out slowly. Soon, Tenchi was giggling maniacally about something. "Dude, you okay? I swear Lunchbox, this guy must be a blunt virgin." The other one nodded his agreement. Suddenly, inspiration struck Jay. "Yo Lunchbox," he whispered conspiratorially, "want to get this guy all fucked up?" The silent one that about it a minute, then enthusiastically nodded his head.
"Here man, swallow this," said the hyper one, handing Tenchi a strange pill. Tenchi should have known better, but in his current state he readily complied. Our somnambolic duo waited a few minutes.
"Alright, it should start to hit now," said guess who. He kneeled down to where Tenchi was rolling on the ground giggling unintelligibly. "Yo snoogans, I'm gonna let you in on some major top fucking secret shit okay?" Tenchi, suddenly all ears, just nodded. "I'm Jay and this is my fat ass sidekick, Silent Bob, and where from outer fucking space. There's this space pirate chick we're after, she likes to give blow jobs that eventually make your head explode. You know, the one you think with."
"AAAAAAHHHG!!! Ryoko wants to blow me!!" Tenchi said, running towards the temple in fear. From somewhere in the distance, Yosho's ears perked up.
"I should be so lucky. Well, there's always Ayeka," he muttered to himself and went back to his meditations.
End part 1.