A/N: Okay, first things first. I have the STRANGEST (or perhaps, not so strange) obsession with Ichiru crying. Damn chapter twenty and that omake... THEY HAVE POISONED MY MIND FOREVER. D: Yes, anyway, I've always wanted to do a 'kissing in the rain' scene 'cause I'm a hopeless romantic sap and so here it is.
Rating: T
Pairing: ZeroxIchiru
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight nor the song, "Say Goodbye". All rights go to the wonderful (if infuriating) Matsuri Hino-sensei and the band, Skillet, respectively. I'm just having fun. ^^
Say Goodbye
Ichiru Kiryu watched impassively as his lover, Zero, packed his bags.
No, that wasn't right. They weren't lovers anymore. They were brothers once more, estranged twins with nothing more to hold their two halves together. This fact should have hurt more, considering all they had been through these past five years. But it didn't. Why should it? Ichiru had known this was coming. He had seen the passion, the romance, the love… slowly flicker out this last year. He had tried to ignore it, sure, tried to pretend they could fix it, that they could rekindle the fire again but alas, his hopes were in vain. Zero was leaving and there was nothing to help it.
Zipping up the last duffel bag, Zero straightened up and turned to his twin, who was leaning in the doorway of the bedroom they had shared for the better part of five years. So many memories, both bitter and sweet… Zero shook his head and said, "Well, that's everything."
Ichiru said nothing, only nodded once.
Zero sighed. Ichiru had not spoken to him since it had been decided he should leave. It had been Ichiru's apartment originally, after all. Hoisting the nearest duffel bag up and slinging it over his shoulder, Zero said, "I guess I better get going then."
Again, Ichiru nodded but this time, words accompanied the nod. "Yeah, you better." He didn't want to look at Zero anymore. If his twin was going to leave, better sooner than later. He didn't need a living memento of what they had shared.
Opening his mouth to say something, Zero decided against it and shook his head. There was nothing left to say. Not that anything would matter, anyway. He was leaving his first behind: his first kiss, his first date, his first slow dance, his first relationship, his first time… The fact that all these firsts were with his younger brother ceased to disturb him anymore. He did not regret a single thing he and Ichiru had shared. Not one single thing. However, it was time to move on.
Zero picked up the other duffel bag and strode past Ichiru, who stepped aside to allow his twin through. They did not look at each other as Zero passed. When the elder Kiryu reached the door, Ichiru dared a peek, just to steal one last glimpse of his former lover to see if it invoked any sort of feeling in him, anything to have the right to beg him not to leave…
Zero froze as he reached for the door handle. No, he couldn't do this. He couldn't leave without one last look at Ichiru. He glanced over his shoulder, gazing almost hopefully at the place where the younger twin stood it the hallway, almost hoping that their identical lilac eyes would meet, almost seeking something of their past affair, no matter how small… But Ichiru wasn't looking him. No, the younger Kiryu was staring at the floor. Zero's heart sank. Finally, he left,
Ichiru heard the door open and close, knowing Zero had gone. The apartment was silent but for the echo of the rain falling heavily outside. The silence was unbearable. Ichiru made his way to the stereo in the living room and turned it on, listening to whir of the CD changer . After a moment, it clicked a CD into place and a rock ballad began to fill the apartment:
[i]Things are changing
It seems strange and
I need to figure this out…
You've got your life, I got mine
But you're all I cared about…[/i]
Striding over to the couch, Ichiru fell onto and after a moment, reached for a pillow and hugged it to his chest, listening to the song.
[i]Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
Where has all the time gone now…
I'm left alone somehow
Growing and up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over[/i]
Suddenly, Ichiru found himself crying, practically sobbing into the pillow he hugged to his chest. How could he be so stupid?! He didn't want Zero gone! There was no one in the world he wanted more! They could work on this! They really could! He just… wasn't ready to let go.
Tossing the pillow to the side, Ichiru rushed out of the apartment.
[i]Don't say goodbye…[/i]
Zero was throwing his bags into the trunk of the car when he glanced up at the apartment building once last time. The living room light in their… in Ichiru's apartment was still on. He wondered what his twin was doing at this exact moment. An image of Ichiru in tears flickered across his mind and Zero felt a distinct stab in his heart. He would hate to cause his twin any sort of pain. However, it was very unlikely that Ichiru was crying over him. It had been Ichiru's idea to break things off in the first place. Still, Zero clung on to that tiny bit of false hope…
"Zero…?"
Turning his gaze downward, Zero saw Ichiru, standing at the base of the apartment steps, already soaked with rain. His long silver hair clung to his face as he peered, nearly desperately, at his twin through slightly puffy and bloodshot eyes. The rain was coming down too hard for him to tell, but Zero was almost certain his brother had been crying.
[i]'Cause I don't want to hear those words tonight…[/i]
"Ichiru…"
Breaking into a relived grin, Ichiru rushed at Zero and enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug, clinging to him as though he were afraid to let go. He buried his face in the crook of Zero's neck, breathing in the familiar scent and sobbing, "I'm sorry, Zero! I'm sorry for everything! I don't know what I was thinking! Please don't leave! I don't want you to leave… because… because…"
[i]'Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I…[/i]
Zero gratefully returned his twin's embrace. Without words, he knew exactly what Ichiru was trying to say. Feeling his brother's body trembling with sons against him, he squeezed tighter and said gently, "I won't leave, Ichiru. If you don't want me to, I won't leave. I'll stay right here… with you…"
[i]And although we knew, this time would come for me and you…[/i]
Ichiru lifted his to gaze in near disbelief at his brother. "Really? You'll stay?"
Zero nodded.
"For how long?"
"Forever sounds good to me."
A renewed wave of tears washed over Ichiru as he beamed at his twin. "Zero… I lo--"
Zero pressed a finger to Ichiru's lips and shook his head. "No, don't speak."
And so Ichiru was speechless.
[i]Don't say anything tonight…[/i]
Time seemed to slow down as Zero leaned forward, closing the few inches of space between him and Ichiru until their lips met. Instinctively, Ichiru closed his eyes and pulled Zero closer, feeling as his lover wrapped his arms firmly around his waist, holding him tightly. Yes, he had been stupid before. This was where he belonged. In these strong arms, kissing these beautiful lips… forever. Yes, there were no goodbyes in forever.
[i]If you're gonna say goodbye…[/i]