What am I doing?

To my loyal readers: I'm so sorry. I'm terrible. I'll try and update something soon. I'm just trying to get my stuff together now that I've literally lost all of my old files. I'm working on a new/blank computer so please don't hate me. * cowers *

For now, enjoy some (late) Valentine's mush.

Standard Disclaimer

Sasayan was a simple person. He didn't lie (much).

When he said that he didn't mind being 'just friends for now', he meant it. But, I mean, that was two years ago. He didn't think they would still be in the 'don't get too close!' phase.

Even Sasayan had a rope. And he was at the end of it.

They were together all the time. They hung out without Haru and Mitty all the time. Heck, she had even slept over at his apartment once because her parents had left for a trip and she had watched some scary movie the night before. And as much as he enjoyed having her over, he could very much so do without his roommate's crude remarks.

Something was different recently, however. She was avoiding him.

Why?

He hadn't held her hand or made any remarks about how cute her outfit was. He made no (obvious) pass at her.

Why on earth was Natsume avoiding Sasayan?

She messaged him less and less, and saw him even less frequently. Sasayan chalked it up to another one of those patented 'Natsume Mood Swings' and just went about his business. That was two weeks ago.

Sasayan liked going to the batting cages.

Despite his busy college schedule and the longer time it took to arrive at the batting cages, he still visited often. Micchan was always sitting happily. He would wave Sasayan in with a 'welcome back' and a free round of swings.

This time, however, there was another patron in the otherwise empty shop. And she sure as hell wasn't there to hit a few baseballs.

Natsume had frozen when she saw Sasayan walk in. She had situated herself on one of the couches inside the lobby and had a few of her belongings strewn about the small coffee table. She stood quickly and began gathering her things, obviously flustered.

Sasayan took a moment to observe her. He hadn't seen her in a while. She looked the same. Flawless outfit, flawless makeup, and flawless accessories. The only thing out of place was her frizzled hair. A clear sign that she was running her hands through it.

Then she was gone.

She rushed out the door without so much as a peep. Micchan lazily waved after her as he called out, "Bye Natsume. Come again soon."

Sasayan turned to the older man with a curious and suspicious look. Micchan just kept his smile plastered on his face.

"What was Natsume doing here?" Sasayan asked evenly.

"Visiting," Micchan answered coolly as he lit a cigarette.

"But what else?"

Micchan shook the match he had used to distinguish the flame, "Just visiting."

"No," Sasayan said simply.

Micchan raised an eyebrow but said nothing more. Sasayan turned on his heel and began walking toward the entrance.

"Aren't you going to take a few swings?"

"Maybe next time," Sasayan answered without looking back.

Sasayan never thought of himself as petty or depressing.

It took him ten minutes to realize that he was no longer walking home. He was just wandering aimlessly around where he spent his high school afternoons in a huff.

There was the fast food place where he would eat after practice with his friends. There's the family restaurant where his family went after he graduated to celebrate. There was the park where he would walk through to get to the baseball equipment shop he frequented. There was the cafe where he and Natsume finished their summer homework in a rush during their third year in high school.

Why was she at the batting cages?

Why was she avoiding him?

When did she become comfortable around Micchan?

Sasayan found a park bench to sit. All these questions were starting to make him dizzy.

When had they gotten close? Were they close?

Sasayan had to admit: Natsume had changed since her high school days. Sure, she was still an awkward man-hating, blog-loving, speed-eating weirdo. But, she had changed.

She smiled more when guys were around. She opened herself up. She grew.

Physically as well.

Natsume was always pretty, but now she was truly a thing to behold. Her clothes that used to make her look cute now made her look womanly. Her make-up that used to draw out her pretty features now subtly bring about her natural beauty.

He told Micchan that he better not regret it. Missing out on an amazing person like Natsume.

He was still a man though. And Natsume is clearly no longer a girl.

Was she really over him? First loves always cut the deepest.

Sasayan roughly rubbed his face the palm of his hands. He was doing it again: sitting alone and thinking about the worst possible outcomes. This was usually when Natsume would pop out of no where and comfort him in her own awkward way. Sasayan chuckled a bit thinking about her stuttering voice as she would invite him out to eat bread in a not-so-subtle way of trying to cheer him up.

But she wasn't coming.

So he would have to go to her.

Sasayan was genuinely surprised when she answered his call.

He was prepared to leave a voicemail (or several), but she answered in a slow voice. The softness of her tone could have convinced someone that perhaps that was her first time answering a cellphone.

"Are you alright?" was the first thing Sasayan could say. He heard a gentle whooshingsound which could only mean that she was shaking her head on the other side of the line.

"I-I'm fine. Wh-what? Do you need something?"

Sasayan smiled a bit on relief. Her usual defiant tone was starting to come back. It had just been so long since he heard her voice.

He twiddled two slips of paper in between his fingers, "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Why?"

Sasayan tilted his head back lazily to look at the white ceiling of his bedroom, "I, by chance, won a raffle at the supermarket. I got two tickets to the theater to see any movie. There's a movie you wanna see isn't there?"

It was a lie. He hadn't won a raffle. He bought the tickets because he knew that a super girly movie that she had been raving about for months had just come out. But she didn't need to know that.

"Do you want to go?"

"Me?" she said after a short silence.

Sasayan let out a laugh, "Well, I'm not going to go with my roommate." Natsume knew all about Sasayan's problems with his loud, arrogant, obnoxious, filthy roommate. He vented to her the most. Still, the guy always paid his rent on time. That counted for something.

"What time?"

Sasayan felt his body perk up a bit, "Are you busy at some point?"

"Just the morning and early afternoon," she answered quickly.

"Are going to see Micchan?"

Sasayan didn't mean to ask that. At all. It flew out of his mouth faster than the high speed pitches at the batting cages.

"H-h-hah? Why- What- What are you-?"

The young man's body stiffened. He felt his fingers and toes grow cold. Something in him dropped. He couldn't tell if it was his stomach or his heart.

"That's not it!"

Natsume was a terrible liar.

"You can meet me in front of the theater at 5. The one where we went last time together. Message me if you can't make it. I gotta go."

As he pulled the phone away from his ear, he heard the faintest protest come out of the speaker of his cellphone. He really didn't want to hear it. He pressed one button and the room was filled with a radio silence.

It wasn't until he looked back at his phone's screen did he notice the date. It was February 13th.

Sasayan arrived at 3 o'clock sharp.

It wasn't because he was nervous or excited, quite the opposite actually. He felt almost numb. He didn't realize that he was two hours early until he caught a glimpse of the small clock tower near the theater.

He managed to find a relatively empty cafe across the street. Surprising since the day was Valentine's Day. He ordered a drink and set his phone down directly in front of him. He chose a window seat at the edge of the cafe and could see the groups of people walk past in his peripheral vision. He kept his eyes firmly planted on his cellphone.

He really was expecting it. A message. A "sorry, but I can't make it". Something. He lost track of time in that small cafe.

Suddenly, his cellphone began to vibrate loudly, creating an amplified rumble from the table. Sasayan quickly grabbed it to pacify the sound. Flipping it open, he found one message:

"WHERE ARE YOU!? (-)!"

He blinked at the message slowly then checked the time. It was 5:45. Rushing out of the cafe, he crossed the street. Sasayan had barely made it ten feet away from the theater when he heard his name being called. He turned around only to witness a thin girl rush toward him. For a moment, Sasayan thought that she would tackle him down. Instead, the stopped about three feet away from him. He was mildly disappointed.

Natsume stood before him, clearly fuming. It took Sasayan a moment to realize that her eyes were slightly watery. He held back a wince.

"Where have you been!? I've been waiting for you since 4:30 and I'm cold!" she semi-shouted with a stomp of her foot.

Hearing how long she was waiting surprised him. Natsume worked on 'Natsume Time'. And that was usually anywhere from 10 to 45 minutes late. Next, Sasayan noticed the red tip of her nose. She had been waiting so long that the cold February air had nipped at it. She wasn't exactly wearing the warmest clothes, however. Her coat looked warm but her short skirt and high heels left a lot of room for chilling breezes.

It took another moment to notice how perfect her attire really was. Her make-up done perfectly. Her hair was in a fashionable up-do. She looked cute. She hardly ever looked like this when they went out normally. Lately, she was in a shorts/pants and t-shirt combo. But this time, it looked like she was going on a date. Sasayan almost started feeling excited.

Almost.

Then he remembered where she was before she was waiting at the theater. This cute outfit wasn't for him. It never was.

Sasayan turned on his heel, "Well, we missed the 5:20 showing but we can still make the 6:05 one."

"Wait!"

Sasayan had to keep himself from loudly coughing when he felt his collar being yanked. He thanked his quick reflexes, otherwise he would have landed on his butt on the cold hard ground.

"What?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

Natsume let go of his collar, a blush rising up her cheeks. "A-uh. Ar-aren't you going to apologize?"

"Sorry," he said flatly.

She stomped her foot, "Hey!"

Sasayan gave her an exasperated look. He scratched the back of his next and looked down to the ground. He heaved a heavy sigh then started, "I'm sorry for leaving you out in the cold."

Natsume froze for a moment. She wasn't expecting him to suddenly become so serious.

"And I'm sorry I forced you to come out with me today."

Natsume's mind went blank for a moment. She blinked then blinked again. Excuse me?

"Hah?"

Sasayan locked eyes with her, "If you had plans with... someone else... You could have just brushed me off."

"Wait, wait, wait," Natsume said quickly as she raised her hands to stop him, "I never said I had plans with someone else."

Now it was Sasayan's turn to be confused, "But you and Micchan-?"

"Th-that was-!," she stuttered, her ears beginning to burn, "I was there because..."

Sasayan didn't realize that he had scooted closer curiously. Natsume had moved her gaze down to her feet and was fiddling with the end of her skirt. She looked positively adorable. Sasayan wasn't even sure how he was managing to hold himself back from just reaching out and pulling her as close as possible to him. Before he could fantasize anymore, she looked back up, locking eyes with him.

"I was there because they came out horrible yesterday!"

Before Sasayan could ask who (or what) on earth was 'they', Natsume was rummaging through her purse. Finally, she produced a small, clear, plastic bags filled with strangely shaped brown... lumps.

Then it clicked.

Sasayan laughed a little, then found himself fully doubled over laughing. Tears were burning the edges of his eyes.

"Sasayan!" he heard Natsume wail.

"S-s-sorry," he managed to wheeze out in between laughs. He wiped at his eyes as he straightened out. His laughter died down once he saw Natsume's pouting face. He cleared his throat and with a grin asked, "Are those for me?"

Natsume's face was aglow with red and her ears were burning once more, "Unless you don't want them."

Sasayan's smile widened. He reached out his hand, "I'll gladly take them."

She gently placed the bag onto the palm of his waiting hand. Natsume's heart beat faster as he brought the bag closer for an inspection. "They're not pretty," she said quietly. Sasayan hummed a bit as he turned the bag around in his hand. "I-I know you don't like candies that are too sweet so..." she trailed off, "I tried to make some with Mitty yesterday but they came out worse."

"Worse than this? Is that even possible?"

"Hey!" she cried.

Sasayan laughed as he turned his attention back to Natsume, "This is the first time you've done something this. Thank you."

Natsume mumbled a bit as she turned her flustered face away. A comfortable silence overcame the two.

"Hey."

"Hmm?" Sasayan answered.

Natsume slowly lifted her gaze, "This is a Valentine's date isn't it?"

Sasayan's eyes widened. He couldn't stop a silly grin from growing on his face, "Unless you don't want it to be."

Natsume gave him an exasperated look. Sasayan let out a light laugh then reached out and grabbed her hand. Before she could protest at all, he was leading them into the theater.

The chocolates were way too sweet, but he didn't mind all that much.

Omake

"So why were you at Micchan's this morning?"

Natsume blushed, "Everyone else was too busy today. His kitchen was the only one available."

"And so you were there earlier this week because...?"

"I was looking up recipes," she said as softly as possible, avoiding all eye contact.

Sasayan squeezed her hand in his, "Next time come to my place to make them."

She, surprisingly, didn't say anything. Sasayan was about to say something else when he felt the faintest squeeze of his hand.

Fin

AARRRGGHHHH the manga is over! * cry in a corner * I honestly love these two to death. Like seriously. These two were my favorite pairing. I wish there could have been more with them but I think the ending left a lot of potential for the imagination. Hence, this fanfic.

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, drop me a review! If you really liked it, check out my other fics. This is the first fic I've ever written for this fandom but I have plenty of other mushy romance stuff.

Until next time!