Kana: Believe me, if there is someone else out there with this plot, she or he does crack.

Disclaimer: me? Own Hellsing? Um…NO. Buy a dictionary people, instead of looking for people to sue. Blah.

Summary: Imaginary numbers must go somewhere. Alucard's trapped in a world where vampires are not only real, but treated as a part of the community. And one more thing; in this world, Iscariot reins supreme.

Notes: Yes, there will be OCs. No, there will be no romance other than my personal favorite – the sadomasochist of the Hellsing pairings. Guess if you can.

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Fidelity

Prologue: The Other Side of Imaginary Numbers

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Forgive me god, for I have sinned. I Have killEd so many peopLe, and I enjoyed it. Please forgive Me god, instEad of smIting me. I have drunk the blood of innocenTs, and savored its taste. I Have fed on hUmans and killed childRen's moThers when they came to Seek revenge.

Neil's new patient was of the strangest kind. The unknown man was in one of the deepest comas he had ever seen, with only a few bleeps every so often on the heart monitor to show that his body still thought of itself as alive. He barely breathed and he made no sound, and when the machines recorded him dreaming, it was always incredibly faint and dim.

But he wrote. The unknown man's right hand seemed to have a mind of its own, and, until a week ago, doctors had been baffled as to why his hand moved so fluidly. At first nurses thought he was having a mild seizure, but when none of the machines spiked it was dismissed.

Only Neil, who had the skills of a drunken intern on his best days, had the notion to put a uniform blue pen and a piece of college-lined paper under it.

And something amazing happened.

"Look," he told his wife, showing her the paper one night after staring at it for hours. She merely smiled at him, knowing he loved his patients –

Especially the vampiric ones.

"What is it?"

"The capitalized letters, look –."

At the bottom of the paper was the word HEL.

His wife frowned. "As in 'hell'?"

Neil shook his head, looking a little pale. "I thought that if I left out the letters that were capitalized for grammar purposes it would reveal something, like his name. But when I used that technique it didn't work because I reached a dead end."

"Maybe he was using chat speak," she chipped in.

He shook his head. "He doesn't seem the type." He grinned impulsively. "Vampires are always devoted to proper speech." Then he went back to looking like he had seen a ghost. "So I used the letter from 'Please' and got this."

He revealed a piece of scrawl that had been covered with his hand before.

HELP ME IT HURTS.

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Neil began to talk to his new favorite patient. Using brail he answered the man and through his pleads for forgiveness the man spoke back. It took weeks for him to register his questions and another few days to write back, but it was progress that amazed his superiors. When other doctors tried to write to him the man became silent and his heart monitor became a steady line like it had been before.

In January Neil asked him what his name was. In March the man replied ALUCARD. The next day he asked what happened to him. Five weeks later he wrote I DON'T KNOW. His superiors never called Alucard by his name, and instead called him 'the vampire', but Neil knew better.

In between messages, Alucard wrote drabble. He pleaded for someone who was his Master and wanted his Police Girl. The sound of banging stimulated him and spiked his monitors. Unlike usual vampiric patients his body never rejected the warmed blood the hospital gave him though IV sacs. Neil was glad for that, for he had heard horror stories of vampires vomiting blood all over the bleak whiteness of their beds.

And Neil saved all of his papers. He pinned macabre scrawling of VEREWOLVES and MASTER on the walls in his home office and studied them, hoping he would find something that would hint to why Alucard was the way he was.

And then he finally saw it. In each paper there was a letter that was bolded out slightly. For the next two years Neil saved each paper, and marveled at the way a vampire could survive.

His recordings were dismissed because of what he found.

My name is Dracula. I am a vampire. I serve under the Hellsing Organization and I was killed when I became imaginary numbers. Please help me. I need to save her.

Neil's latest question ('are you alright?') was answered with this: I WANT TO DIE.

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Kana: And there you have it, the prologue of the product of mixing Cheetos and Pepsi. Lets all celebrate by reviewing!

If you can guess who Neil is you get a cookie. A big cookie.