Cyrus Eats Cheesecake

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. It belongs to Nintendo/Satoshi Taijiri.
Also, this story was actually written as a joke when a bunch of people and I were coming up with random pairings in the Pokemon universe. I had an idea of CyrusxCheesecake, and decided to write it. It is technically safe for work, but I've rated it as M anyway because ..well, you'll see. I've had a LOT of various reactions to this story. Anyway, enjoy.


Everything seemed rather drab and dreary in the Distortion World. It was as though the life had been sucked out of everything. Colors were somehow less than they were before. The air, if it could be called that, was stale and empty. There was no echo. Each sound was somehow less than it was.

Cyrus observed the strange, spiked tree as it writhed outward from what seemed to be empty air, and did nothing as it vanished. For him 'strange' was hardly in his vocabulary. This world was his home now, and he saw no reason to worry about why any of it happened anymore.

As it happened, he found that he was rarely bored. Boredom was for people who felt anything at all, and Cyrus prided himself on being emotionless. No, wait, he didn't do that either. He saw no need for such fleeting things. Instead, he set his sights on much larger prey.

Giratina was around, somewhere. Not to say that he hadn't tried to capture the legendary creature. In fact, the two now acknowledged one another. Giratina rarely bothered Cyrus unless it was feeling up to a nice game of chase. And Cyrus usually complied, battling it until one fled or something else happened to catch their interest.

Today, it was the strange, floating, circular object. It resembled a wheel from afar and Cyrus lifted his head from his hands. That, he had never seen before. It was vaguely familiar. The man rose to his feet, idly dusting his pants off, and made his way over to it. It floated along lazily, and as he neared it he saw that it was not a wheel at all.

It looked a bit like a pie.

In the vaguest expression, Cyrus felt his left eyebrow raise slightly. How peculiar. What was a pie doing in the distortion world? He reached for it, enclosing the plastic container in his hands and observing it. It was about the size of a dinner plate.

No, it was not a pie, he saw, as he opened it. It was a cheesecake. Instead of having no smell, Cyrus could pick up the vaguest hints of chocolate chips nestled amongst the white fluffy cheesecake, and the graham cracker crust that made up its frame. A plastic bag rested atop the cheesecake, and Cyrus found that there was a fork and a napkin inside.

Of course, Cyrus rarely felt anything physical in this place. When he was tired, he slept. Aside from that, he rarely felt hunger. However, the smell of the cheesecake was powerful compared to the rest of the world and his stomach suddenly reacted. As though he had never consumed food in his life, a sharp stab suddenly overtook him. Cyrus nearly dropped the cheesecake, one hand clutching his stomach and his body doubled over.

"..."

Cyrus paused for a breath. His stomach was not about to relent, as the potent scent of chocolate, cheesecake, and graham cracker was enough to even make HIM crack.

The man did not fuss over his dilemma. He was hungry, so he should eat, right? Why not? It was here, so he should eat. This did not stop him from having a quick look around. After all, what if Giratina passed by? He didn't feel like explaining why he was eating a cheesecake on the ground to the legendary. But he didn't feel like anything.

Cyrus went about the whole thing with little fuss. He sat, cross-legged, and set the plastic tray in his lap. The fork and napkin slid out of the package so easily into his other hand. He tucked the nakpin into the collar of his shirt and spread it out over his chest. As for the plastic wrapper, he simply let it float away and vanish. Yes, he just littered.

His hand shook as he clutched the fork in between his gloved fingers. Lowering it down to the cheesecake, Cyrus pressed the prongs against the creamy surface, practically tantalizing his aching stomach. Dragging the fork along the cheese, he pulled with him a few of those lucious looking chocolate chips, smearing dark brown over yellow-white. His mouth began to water as he gently dug the fork into the cheese, scooping up a few chocolate chips onto the end of the fork.

By this point he was trembling so hard his mind was whirling. He could not explain any of this. Emotionally, he was as blank as ever, but his body was causing him to react in the strangest and worst of ways. And all at the sight of a cheesecake? The thought was enough to make him want to push the fork away from his face. However, his stomach seemed to seize his hand and force the fork at his face with enough force to probably puncture his mouth if he hadn't opened it.

The moment the sharp cocktail of cheesecake and chocolate entered his mouth his eyes rolled back into his head. No pleasure could possibly surmount this. Physical anyway. Cyrus felt nothing emotionally. He reminded himself of that. However, his first taste of the delicious cheesecake was enough to nearly put him into a hunger frenzy. Never in his existence had he tasted something so grand, so wonderful, so ALIVE as the cheesecake.

It was calling him, beckoning him with a power he could not name. He dug the fork in deeper, until it poked the bottom of the plastic tin and scooped up a larger amount. He took some of the crust with him and shoved the whole thing in his mouth, breathing heavily through his nose. His forehead began to moisten with heat and sweat and his body shook with pleasure as he thoroughly chewed and swallowed his second bite.

His mind was completely overtaken by his sudden lust for cheesecake. Already he was into the third bite, chewing and swirling the trio of flavors around in his mouth. As he swallowed, he was unable to help the very quiet, subtle moan from deep within his chest. His breathing became faster as he took another bite, tongue slithering along his lips to catch the remnants of graham cracker that soiled his mouth.

If there was a such thing as paradise, this was it. Cyrus could not think. He could not feel - at least not anything but the cheesecake as it slid down his esophagus and into his stomach, creating a heavy sensation he had not been previously aware of. Cyrus realized that this fork would never be enough to satisfy him. No, he needed something bigger. There were no shovels that he had seen in the Distortion World, but he didn't need that. He went directly to the source of his physical pleasure.

Cyrus picked up the plastic container and held it in both of his sweaty palms. His tongue slid seductively along the surface of the marred cheesecake, saliva sliding down from his open mouth and dribbling down the top of the cake. Mouth parted a little more, teeth slowly coming together as he took a massive mouthful of the center. Not caring if he smeared chocolate all over his face or his nose was covered with cream cheese he chewed thoroughly, savoring each bite of the cake before he swallowed.

Dragging his tongue along the cake, he swirled it in the hole he'd made, stomach swirling with pleasure as more of the cheesecake made its way inside. He pushed his tongue against the creamy center, feeling it give and the cake slide around his tongue. His breathing quickened, his eyes rolled back into his head, pleasure mounting as he forced his tongue deep inside the cheesecake, quiet little moans escaping him. He was nearly there.. to the place that no pleasure could possibly surmount, when his eyes suddenly focused on something over the edge of the pie plate.

It was large, mostly black, and quite long. For a second he ignored it, but his brain suddenly clicked into gear and he blinked, focusing his gaze towards the large legendary Pokemon hovering not even ten feet away.

It did not look aggressive. Rather, it was simply staring at him. Cyrus got the vaguest feeling that it was... amused.

All of his pleasure was gone and Cyrus threw the cheesecake away, wiping his mouth with the napkin and tossing it aside too. Giratina seemed to blink, hovering there.

"What?" Cyrus asked blandly. "Have you never seen a human consume food before?"

"No," echoed a voice in his mind. "And I hope I never do again."

And so ends the story of Cyrus and the cheesecake.