SG: My first TWEWY fic. Enjoy
Disclaimer: I don't own TWEWY, Square-Enix does.
Reaper Roll'd
Yodai Higashizawa was in a terrific mood, reminiscent of cherries. No… not cherries… blueberries? Apples? Choco-choco-chip? Well, whatever food his mood resembled, that didn't matter, as the cake he had been so carefully crafting for the past – Higashizawa checked the clock – 2 and a half hours was near complete. All that was left was the secret ingredient – Reaper Spice. The label read: "Do not use. Will cause sudden and inexplicable use of internet memes."
Higashizawa put the gentlest dash of spice into his cake, and started laughing maniacally. "The proof is in the pudding… The pudding of their doom!" Higashizawa strolled over to the fridge, and took out a chocolate pudding. "This, one specifically."
******
16-year-old Neku Sakuraba was in a delightful mood. He had just passed a particularly tough exam, and was going out to the movies with his friends to celebrate. The movie they were going to see was "Robot Ninja Carrot Men: Invasion of Cucumbers." Because while robots, ninjas, carrots, and men weren't cool on their own, cucumbers made them awesome.
Neku was just passing through the Scramble Crossing, when he saw someone he had thought was long gone: the Food Reaper.
"Hello, Neku. Are you ready for a delectable doomsday, including an appetizer, main course, and dessert?"
"I thought Shiki and I erased you a year ago!"
"Fool! Good food never spoils!"
Neku met that statement with a questioning look. "I am going to ignore the sexual implications of that statement, and skip straight to the appetizer."
Right then, Neku's good friend Beat showed up. "Hey, Neku! I thought you was goin' to meet us at the theater, yo?" Before Neku could answer, a giant blackberry materialized in the center of the crossing, and started on a godzilla-esque rampage, throughout the city.
Beat turned to Neku, desperate to know what was going on. Instead, he asked something else. "Neku! What does the scouter say about his power level?"
"It's over nine-thousaaand!"
"What! Nine-thousand? There's no way that could be right!" Neku and his friend looked at each other for a moment, unable to understand the reasoning behind their exchange. "Um…" Beat started. "Ignorin' da reference to the American Dragon Ball Z, what're we gonna do 'bout dat giant berry?"
"No clue. I say we go get Rhyme and Shiki." Beat nodded his agreement, but before they could leave Higashizawa teleported in front of the two, blocking their escape.
Suddenly, the blackberry wasn't the only food terrorizing Tokyo. In addition, there was a giant roast chicken. Higashizawa laughed maniacally. "How are you gentlemen? All your city are belong to me! You cannot survive make your time. Ha ha ha!"
"Neku! Beat!" The two boys whirled around to see Shiki and Rhyme. "We came as soon as we escaped Rick Astley!" Shiki called out.
"Rick Astley? He rickrolled you?" Neku faced Higashizawa, eyes flaming with anger. "That's going too far, Reaper!"
"There is nothing you can to do stop my well balanced diet of doom! You are nothing but appetizers for my appetizer. And now… meet dessert!" Finally, a 3000 meter tall cake joined the two other courses, sealing Tokyo's doom. Wait a minute… Neku thought. The blackberry came – then an internet meme. The chicken came – and then an internet meme so that means… Neku smirked. He had found the one fatal flaw in Higashizawa's logic. "Well played, Higashizawa. But you made one mistake."
Higashizawa laughed the threat off. "Please. I made no mistake. Tokyo will be burnt to a crisp, and there is nothing you can do to"-
"In case you're forgetting Higashizawa…" Neku paused for emphasis. Beat, Rhyme and Shiki looked at Neku expectantly. –"The cake is a lie."
Higashizawa's face flamed with agony! This couldn't be! "Defeated by a reference to Portal? No… No!"
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true," Neku gloated. Higashizawa faded, and his creations too, probably retreating to the UG.
"So…" Beat said. "Who's up for a movie, yo?"
"Um…" Rhyme said. "The theater was destroyed in the rampage."
"D'oh!"
The End
Okay, honestly… what was I thinking?
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