Hello! Welcome to my little fic! These are scenarios for DM-Sama's "Ways to Get Akatsuki Pissed at you!" I hope you enjoy!
Deidara
1. Sing at the top of your lungs "Dude, looks like a lady" and hide very quickly when he tries to find you.
'Twas the night before morning, and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!" A shrilly voice screamed. A loud bang followed and then footsteps running down the hallway. A girl skidded around the corner, cackling as she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, UN! I'LL BLOW YOU UP WITH MY ART, YEAH!" An angry, red-faced blonde male followed not far behind. His long blonde hair glided in the air behind him, making him look like a woman at first glance. "NEVER!" The girl screamed, cackling. She turned a corner, then made a sharp turn around another corner before jumping and hiding in a closet. She covered her mouth with her hands and stayed quiet, holding in her snickers as she heard the male thunder passed her. "WHERE IS SHE?!" She heard him scream. Once he was gone, she slipped away and hid in Zetsu's garden, where Deidara never would set foot. She was safe.
2. Dye his Akatsuki cloak pink and glue a very large bra in the chest area, then during the next meeting say, "Hey look. Deidara has a sister."
Everyone gathered in the meeting area, Pein staring silently with his purple-ringed eyes. Nenia fought to hide her smirk as everyone gathered there. She could feel the murderous aura around the blonde-haired Akatsuki member, and couldn't help but stare at him. He glared at her, but she ignored him when Pein began to speak. It didn't take long for him to finish, so she felt it her queue. She stood up, putting on a shocked expression as she gasped and pointed at Deidara, exclaiming, "Hey look! Deidara has a sister!" Said blonde's eyebrow twitched as his aura got even darker. She let out a smirk before fleeing the meeting area with a scream, "HE'S GONNA KILL ME!" She was able to hear some chuckles, which were drowned out by an outraged shriek as the blonde chased after her. She cackled as she ran through the halls with the raging male behind her. Back in the meeting room, Pein's eyebrow twitched and he let out an agitated sigh. "Dismissed." He ground out through a clenched jaw.
3. Tell him Tobi just told you his most deepest and darkest secret and that you just posted it on the internet. When he accidentally tells you his secret say, "Nah. but I was recording this whole conversation. TO THE INTERNET!" And flee.
[Lets pretend they know what the Internet is, ne?]
Nenia walked into the kitchen to get something to snack on. Seeing Deidara rummaging in the cupboards, she grinned as an evil thought occurred to her. "Hey Deidara!" She called, walking over to him. He turned around and growled at her, "What?" Nenia pouted at him. "My my, someone's in a shitty mood. PMSing?" She smiled sweetly. Deidara glared darkly at her, but she brushed it off with a wave of her hand. "I just wanted to tell you Tobi just told me your deepest, darkest secret and I put it on the Internet, but if you're not interested, I'll go show the others." She smiled secretly as she turned. Deidara's growl made her smile grow. "Oh no he didn't!" He raged. "I'm going to kill that bastard, un!" He snarled at the air. Nenia turned around with a fake clueless look on her face. "Why?" She asked him. Deidara stared at her before huffing, "Because he just told you that when I was a kid, I played with dolls." He rolled his eyes, his tone stating that it was so obvious. Nenia blinked and smiled. "Nah, I was fucking with you. But I recorded this whole conversation!" She held up a miniature tape recorder. "To the internet!" She turned and fled, cackling as she went. Deidara screamed in rage behind her. "GODDAMNIT!" Nenia smirked as she hid in Itachi's room. Said Uchiha simply looked at her as he sat on his bed, a scroll in his hands. Nenia put a finger to her lips in a "Shh" motion. He blinked and simply went back to reading. She cackled to herself, and Itachi chose to ignore the chill that went down his spine.
4. Ask him the true meaning of art, and during the first five minutes of his speech, snore really loudly. When he shakes you awake, yell at him, "Sasori's art is better!"
It was a fine day, and Nenia was bored. Deciding to fuck with Deidara some more, she set off to find him. Finding him in the living area sculpting some clay figures while Kisame played shogi by himself, she sat next to him. "Hey Deidara?" She asked in an innocent tone. He growled softly, "What?" She pouted at him. "Still sore about that secret incident?" She snorted. "Man Dei-chan, calm down." He simply growled at her. "Anyway, I have a question." She paused, waiting for a "What, un?" Looking at him she said in a serious tone, "What's the true meaning of art?" Deidara glanced at her. Seeing her serious expression, he smiled. Finally! He'd been waiting to rant about his art! "Art is fleeting, un!" He began. And so, he began to rant about how fleeting it was in every way. Nenia pretended to listen for a few seconds before she fake-fell-asleep. She began to snore very loudly. Kisame guffawed at her boldness, watching with an amused expression. Deidara frowned at her and shook her awake. "Hey, wake up, yeah!" She snorted and blinked, looking at Deidara. When he opened his mouth she screamed at him, "SASORI'S ART IS BETTER!" Unbeknownst to her, Sasori had been walking by at that moment. Hearing her statement, he stopped dead in his tracks and poked his head in to look at them. Smirking, he told Deidara, "See brat? True art is eternal!" Deidara's face turned red and Kisame roared with laughter, holding his stomach. Nenia took that moment for Deidara's distraction in arguing with Sasori to slip away unnoticed. She giggled evilly to herself and went to go bug Itachi.
5. In case of emergency: Run like you're being chased by a psychopathic bomber.
Walking down the hallway, Nenia headed towards the kitchen. As she neared, it was at that moment that Deidara exited her destination. His head turned. They both stopped. His eyes narrowed and hers widened. "You!" He snarled. She squeaked and fled, screaming as she ran down the hallway with Deidara at her heels, throwing tiny clay spiders at her. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Heads poked out of rooms to see the commotion, watching in amusement as the bomber chased his pranker. Nenia saw her escape up ahead and sped up. The door opened as Itachi made to look out to see what was going on. Their eyes met, and before he could react, she dived into his room and hid under his bed. Deidara skidded to a stop and snarled. "GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN, UN!" He screamed. Itachi glared at him, his ears ringing from the screaming. "NO!" Nenia screamed back. "I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAN!" Deidara growled loudly. "COWARD!" He snarled. Itachi sighed and glared at the blonde, which the blonde promptly ignored in favor of glaring into the room. "YES! I LIKE HAVING TITS AND A VAGINA! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" She screamed back. Red-faced, Deidara huffed and stormed off. Once he was out of sight, Itachi closed his door and stood in the middle of his room, arms crossed. When Nenia came out and looked at him, he simply raised an elegant eyebrow. She grinned cheekily and waved at him, rubbing the back of her head. "Howdy?" She squeaked. He shook his head, a light smile forming on his lips. "What am I going to do with you?" He murmured as he sat on his bed. She sat next to him and rubbed her head against his shoulder. "Be my knight in shining armor." She said with a grin. He simply sighed.
What'd you think? I'm sure if I really thought hard, I could come up with better scenarios, but it's five in the morning right now so, naaaah. x3 More to come!