There were times were I felt lonely sitting in my room. As a child I only relied in adults for I had no siblings. Some would say I was growing too fast or knew too much, but not enough to be a prodigy. I always tried to be sweet for them, a smiling perfect child. But why? Why was I so lonely? What cured me from it? Well it's a simple thing…
Ciel Vincent Earl Phantomhive.
I remember the day I met him. Mom and dad had left me 'alone' and I was crying in my room. Only three years old and hated to be left alone with nobody around. I wanted mom to come back and tell me a story or dad to turn on his computer and put on the song 'rain keeps falling on my head'. But they were not there.
"Hey! Stop crying!" said an annoyed voice of a boy. My cries stopped as I felt somebody clean my tears with a silk handkerchief. My vision slowly cleared as the soft cloth left my skin. Noticing I wasn't in my room anymore I stared at the place filled with black flowers and white background and in the middle of all was a black cat with two different colored eyes. It was beautiful and elegant silky midnight blue fur. Blue and violet orbs stared at me for a while.
"Hi kitty…" I said with my voice a bit exhausted from crying. Slowly it walked towards me, little by little morphing into a boy wearing a sapphire blue Victorian styled outfit. The same eyes stared at me as he kneeled to my height with a phantom smile on his lips. "My name is not kitty. I am Ciel Vincent Earl Phantomhive, and I've come here to offer you a deal"
"a deal?" I asked him, he looked much older than me, but not as old as papa and mama. He nodded a mischievous glint in his dual colored eyes.
"yes, you can ask for anything you want and I will grant it. But then when the time comes I will ask you for something in return" he answered to me. Anything I wanted?
"Keep me company for the rest of my life! And never leave me! I don't wanna be alone!" I cried hugging him.
He cured me from my loneliness. People thought I had an imaginary friend and that kept me company. Of course Ciel would play with me the games papa and mama were trying to show me (like chess or Risk), eat my favorite sweets with me and take care of any monsters. I was only a child, but I looked at him as if he were a prince.
He would tell me all these cool stories about his adventures and be my bath buddy. It was like being in a small pool just him and me (Well. That was only when mama couldn't bathe me). It was weird for me that each time I wanted him to meet my family he would hide. I remember that little by little I made him smile at my stupid stories and games. He would do everything I said and played with me just like I wanted. Ciel was special, he knew my games usually had adventure and romance and he did his best to do as I imagined. When I felt down he would play a song for me with his violin and let me sing the lyrics. We would twirl around the room singing the words of 'green sleeves' and 'Scarborough fair'. Nobody would interrupt our moments together.
Yes, I was a child. But I grew and started to get corrupted. By the age of nine my smiles started to disappear and my parents had divorced. A nun (if I can even call her that) that had been my mother's friend started to interfere a lot in my life. I could rarely see Ciel now because she banned me from anything that had to do with 'imaginary friends'.
"Don't cry…don't give her the satisfaction." He would say hugging me when I managed to escape from her words. Rage built inside me, towards the nun who lived here, towards my parents, towards those who laughed at me. Time seemed to drown me more and more into a never ending abyss of despair and sorrow. Little by little obscuring all of my real happiness.
Ciel had left…I didn't see him for a year after I turned eleven. All that was left of him was a letter and a present for my birthday. Yes, he never missed a holiday present for me and from me. I locked myself constantly in my room and stopped opening the balcony door as I used to do with Ciel. I wanted to hear him play the violin again. Wanted to sing the songs we used to sing together. I wanted him back.
But like everyone since I was nine, he left.
Or at least he made me believe he had.
"You are a little liar! You hear me?! A liar! You are a lazy person who does not love her mother!" yelled the nun at my face as I glared at this woman yelling at me. Oh she may be a nun, but im sure she is an angel from hell!
"No! You are wrong!" I said back "and stop yelling at me"
"Yelling…THIS IS YELLING YOU IRRESPONSIBLE GIRL! IF YOU WANNA KEEP ON BEING THE LAZY CHILD YOU ARE THEN LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND GO TO YOUR FATHER'S!" she answered, her tone of voice louder. It was incredible how my mother could keep on working on her things with this woman's yelling. No, I don't cry. I won't give her the pleasure to see me weak. I must be strong. So without any questions I turned away and rushed to my room.
"my lord…is this the one?" I heard a voice in my dreams say. Wait! I heard him before! A deep voice with British accent. Who is that person?
"yes, she is…she is the one" I heard the boy's voice answer. "That insolent fool! Slave of passion! How dare she hurt my angel?! I only wish I can show myself sooner. That way my flower shan't be hurt…" his angry voice rebounding my brain. The song…was from the phantom of the opera. When the phantom gets jealous after Christine's first concert. He twisted the words for himself. If only I could answer. But no, I stayed there mute in place.
Just like always mysterious presents made their way in that school years holidays until it was time to go to school after summer. I was going to enter sixth grade. An outcast? Ignored? Yes, that I had turned into. Yes, I had some friends. I could have conversation with anyone; but I was flat out ignored. And somehow I became immune to my own fear for I didn't want to get attached and lose anyone again. Well, people knew that it was scary to make me angry. At least that is what I heard. I thought that year when I entered the classroom I would see the usual people. How wrong I was.
A boy dressed in my school's uniform entered the classroom, but not just anybody. Straight blue/gray hair and an eye covered with an eye patch. Beautiful deep blue orb striking a cold glare to those who whispered about him. His navy blue expensive backpack was ordinary along with the others.
"Ciel" He turned when he heard me murmur his name. His beautiful blue orb shining in recognition happiness and another feeling I did not know what it was. A phantom smile drawn on his lips as he made his way towards me.
"Hi there Azu! It's been a long time, hasn't it my lady?" he said with his usual expression. I just couldn't help it! I had to do it! Out of an impulse I hugged the friend I thought I lost as tightly as I could. Burying my nose on his shoulder I inhaled his sweet scent….lavender, just like I remembered. "I missed you" I whispered not caring about those who asked us questions or teased us.
"shhh…I won't leave. I promise" he murmured softly into my hair. We let each other go at the teacher's entrance and class started. I was so happy! I could see him again! And unlike people used to say…he is not imaginary! At recess we would talk and play like when I was younger, my imaginary world was now real for me and him. Every day ended the same both of us going to our homes and not seeing each other until it was time for school.
I dreaded this day so much. I had worked hard in making valentines for everyone (per teacher's orders). It was the 14th of February, the day I hated the most. I only got silly petty valentines of people who didn't even have interest in me…all saying 'happy valentines' or 'you are awesome'. Some others made by ´friends´ who told me how special I was…but none of secret admirers. Yes, ridiculous to think a girl like me would gain such a thing. The only ones I told about this were my teddy bear, my mother and Ciel. Always had been wishing for somebody to secretly love me and send me letters in valentines.
Well…the secret letter box was opened. The usual names being called, all of the popular or pretty girls in the class running to get their letters.
"For Azucena from the phantom" announced the teacher. My eyes widened in disbelief. Did I just get called?
"Azucena" the teacher broke me out from my musings and quickly I grabbed the letter and stared at it. It was an elegant looking parchment letter sealed in royal blue wax. The smell of lavender emanated from it as I carefully opened it.
Angel of music, the one I love with my all.
Your bitter sweet soul I desire to become mine.
My love please accept my black heart tonight
A demon I am but with no intentions to hurt you.
My fair lady, lass of my heart
A bear from your birth marked us as one.
My mark bestowed on your skin unseen by mortals
A phantom I am.
Riches beyond desire
Immortality and love
All of that I may offer.
A broken heart you may be
But let me repair you my sweet doll.
Those humans that hurt you shall not ever do so again.
I promise you my love ill see you
You will know who I am
For I will never leave again
The poem made no sense. But it didn't matter: it was still beautiful in its own way.
Everyone was trying to find the mystery person who gave my first REAL valentine letter. We were so into the investigation we never noticed the blue haired boy staring at me from the distance. His smile wide and warm only noticed by the teachers who grinned as well. Time passed and we were now at recess for half an hour. As usual Ciel and I were playing together.
Sometimes I wonder, why does he keep playing with me? I mean we are 12 years old (well I'm technically eleven, but that's beside the point!) people at age ten stop playing the types of games we play. Yet, here we are, activating our imagination and creating a whole different world. Though there is something I've noticed for a while…his eye changes color each time we play, and our games seem too real to be simple imagination. I nervously looked at him trying to make the question I dreaded. "Hey, Ciel ,I've been meaning to ask you for a long time now…" I said still observing him with no expression at all. He looked up and everything disappeared around us.
"What is it?" he asked me with his usual cold expression. I was nervous…but I needed him to answer "you have been coming to school for a while…but you have done this ever since I met you. Why is it that each time we play games, imagination games that is, your eye turns pink. Why is that? And why do you wear an eye patch"
He stayed silent for a moment and then he grabbed my hand taking me somewhere more private. His hands seemed to be covered by fingerless gloves. Multiple times teachers had told him he wasn't allowed to paint his nails, but he never cared about them. He sighed slipping off his right glove and his eye patch. What I saw made me gasp in surprise. A demonic seal on his hand and eye, each one was different…but both represented one of the things mom had shown me to fear as a child.
"Wh-what is that?" I asked still staring at the marks. He came closer making me flinch a bit, his eyes filled with hurt, pain and fear of rejection.
"I'm a demon…but please…I won't hurt you" he said to me softly as if I were a scared animal.
"B-but no! Why? When? How?Who are you?" I was bombarding with questions fearful of the outcome, the boy in front of me was the exact thing I've been fearing all my life!
"The bear, the one they gave you when you were born. It's from my company, Funtom Company to be precise…I´m really the most famous detective in the millennia…"
"What does teddy have to do with this?!"I interrupted harshly. It was good that we were in recess or this would have been a horrible thing to explain to teachers.
"He was made for the person who would keep me company for the rest of my life. Only that person would be able to have it. Your grandmother bought it for you when you were born, and gave it to you. Ever since that day you were chosen to be the one and only love of my immortal life"
"You can't be Serious" I said to him my eyes wide. Before he could reply the teachers started calling us back to class. I couldn´t get to concentrate in class. The most famous detective of the millennia…The guard dog.
Wait he is the one who gave me the valentine!
Then that means….
The phantom was in love with me? No, that can't be right.
Ciel is a demon, but then why would he follow me all the way to Mexico? Was it really true what he said about teddy?
All these questions invaded my mind when I got home. Now that I think about it, it made a bit of sense. Maybe it wasn't love…it might be an obsession with my soul. My bittersweet soul. I can still remember my wounds would heal faster because he licked them, the face Ciel made when he did that was indescribable. Like a child eating the most delicious lollypop.
The days when I met up with friends that weren't him I would catch him watching us with a demonic glare. He, along with a man in black, always seemed to appear where ever I was. I was watched ever since I was a child…and now I realize I was never alone.
Next day I came to school as usual and searched for Ciel. When I found him he was sitting alone in his usual spot waiting for us to be called in. His demeanor was that of melancholy and sadness. I could sense it strongly and it broke my heart. Slowly I made my way towards him and silently sat right next to the blue haired demon. Without a word I took his hand in mine softly stroking his cold white skin.
We needed not to say a thing…he knew. He knew I didn't hate him. He knew I had accepted him. I was only twelve at the time, I had had crushes before (only two) both of which never gave me the hope of ever being with them. They knew, Ciel was there. The teacher called us interrupting this precious moment. His eyes flashed pink with annoyance as I sighed and let him go.
That night I could feel him right beside me. His dark soothing presence was really close to me. Delicate fingers tracing my face, cold but comforting as they gripped my shoulders. With his gentle hands he removed my wavy brown locks from my slightly tanned skin. I felt him lean closer to me, I could feel his breath on my ear, I let out a slight shiver.
"my angel…I'm sorry for the pain this may cause you. I know you are awake my valentine, but I would not be able to live this eternity damned with you dying in a future." Whispered Ciel with his silky voice. I didn't move I only waited stiff in place as I felt his cold lips on my neck, and then pain. My mouth and eyes open wide as a silent scream never came. It was all silent as the torture continued to invade my body.
It hurts!
Help please!
It hurts too much please!
Tears rolled down my eyes as the demon cradled me to his chest. He sung to me a soothing song trying desperately to stop this tremendous pain. Nothing worked…well at least I don't remember because next morning I woke up, I believed it was all a dream. Oh, how wrong I was…
Ciel seemed different today, observing me like an experiment. People around me still talking about the nonsense of Valentine's Day…seriously, won't they let it go already? I glared at them from my seat when I heard them offending 'the phantom' that sent me the letter. But when I did one of the kids met my gaze and let out a loud gasp.
"Her eyes!" I heard him whisper quietly to the others. His soul along with the others were shivering in fear and confusion. Wait- Did I just say souls?! Holy! When did I-? Oh don't tell me he- I looked at Ciel frightened his blue eye only stared back with an apologetic expression.
"I'm sorry Azu, but it was the only way I could keep you with me without the risk of consuming your soul" My eyes widened drastically when I heard his silky voice in my mind. No this cant be possible! Ok ,ok calm down. Let's see, Ciel if you hear me: please! I beg you to get me out of this situation.
His expression when back to his neutral cold face as he nodded at me twice. Slowly he got up from his seat; the temperature seemed to drop with each step he took towards the kids who I had glared at. The girls giggled and muttered nonsense as if he couldn't hear them say all those 'fan girly' things about him. Suddenly he came to a stop making us all shiver with fear or cold. Ciel's imposing presence seemed to overwhelm every one of us that were within inches of him.
"Leave her alone. Or I'll tell the teacher about the things you have bringing to school." He said to them with a voice so cold and smooth, that if he wanted, it could turn into ice. They seemed to want to say something to him but with a demonic pink glare the kids ran away with their tails between their legs. I had told my mother earlier I was staying with Ciel at his house and she accepted glad that I was making friends. Well…let's just say that his 'father', Sebastian, took us to his house (which by the way is a mansion). The lunch was delicious! Who knew this guy could cook such a meal?! Anyways…Ciel took me to his music room and as we sat on the piano bench I recalled the previous event.
"Ciel…explain. What did you do to me? More importantly. Why?" I was shivering at this point. He gazed at me guiltily as he took hold of my hands.
"We demons eat souls and make contracts with humans. They ask us for something, a specific goal. When they gain what they want we eat their soul; But with you. I couldn't, as much as I wished to taste it…I couldn't bring myself to do it. Look there are things that even we demons do not understand. I do not know how to say this, but you have my mark and the red string of destiny tied to my finger. These can only be seen by non-mortals, and they mean you are my soulmate or what you humans like to call it: My wife" He explained leaving me stunned. It's too much…too much to process. If imp his wife that means…I'm a demon?
He nodded at me once confirming my suspicion. I clenched my fists, and for the first time in ages I started to cry, just like the day he met me. My tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt his arms wrap around me. No words…he only held me till I calmed down. "Ciel…"
"Don't say anything, I understand. I have just turned you into the creature you feared the most, its normal for you to react this way. But I beg you…don't hate me" he mumbled into my hair. How could I possibly hate him? He was the only one who stayed, who did his best to never hurt me. Even if he turned me into a demon, he did it in order to stay with me forever.
"Thank you" I heard him say. And before anything else was said he took my face in his cold hands and little by little he got closer until our lips met. They were soft and cold almost as an ice-cream. As fast as it happened it ended. It may have been the most magical thing I had in my life, but it still made me hide my face in my mate's chest who only laughed in amusement at my antics.
Ever since that day we have been together. Never have we separated, he trained me on my new powers and as soon as we turn eighteen in human years (and look that age) we will marry and disappear.
This was the story of our life.
The story in which my best friend is my soulmate.
And my soulmate….
Is a demon.