Solitary- The Truth
Elina Amell had always followed the rules. She was quick to learn that in the Circle, there was a heavy price to be paid for disobedience. But now, as she paced the floor of the library, she thought she might be forced to break a few rules after all her years of piety.
"Jowan," she said suddenly to the dark-haired mage who had been watching her ponder. "I'm really worried now."
"You've been worried every time, Elina," Jowan answered with a sigh. "And he always comes back in one piece." He'd been trying to concentrate on his book, but Elina's agitation was radiating off of her in waves, distracting him. She always worried too much.
Elina plopped herself down in the chair next to Jowan, keeping her voice low as to not be overheard by Senior Enchanter Torrin, who was practicing with one of the younger apprentices across the library. "It was different this time, and you know it. It wasn't his usual smart mouthing. He attacked a Templar."
"The Templar instigated it first," Jowan answered, though he knew it hardly mattered. He tried calming Elina by adding, "First Enchanter Irving wouldn't let anything terrible happen to him. Anders isn't dangerous, just hot-headed. And everyone knows it."
Elina tapped her fingers impatiently on the table in front of her for a few moments before getting to her feet. "Anders has been in solitary for a week now. I think that warrants me asking the Knight-Commander about it." She'd already tried asking the First Enchanter, but he was prohibited from visiting mages when they were in solitary.
"That's not a good idea," Jowan answered quickly. Elina had always stayed in the good graces of the Templars, and Jowan wasn't keen on the idea of her getting on Greagoirs's bad side in any way. "Just wait a few more days. I'm sure he'll be out then."
"He's our friend, Jowan!" Elina gave the mage a frustrated look. Her eyes, usually a light blue, turned gray whenever she was upset. Now, they were a stormy color, and her voice was tight as she said, "Anders doesn't tell us what goes on in solitary, but you've seen how weak he is every time he gets out. And he limps, like he's been hurt."
Jowan finally closed his book, giving up completely on getting anything done. "Elina, there's not anything we can do without getting in trouble ourselves. Do you want to end up in solitary, too?"
Her voice was practically a growl as she answered, "I don't expect you to come with me, so I don't know why I'm even continuing this conversation." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the library, leaving Jowan to try to remember if she'd ever spoken to him that way before.
Elina tore through the halls quickly, her tall and thin frame somehow seemed intimidating to the apprentices who passed her. When she reached the Knight- Commander's office, she had to take a deep breath before knocking, trying to keep herself calm- she didn't want to do anything rash, no matter how worried she was.
"Yes?" The Knight-Commander answered from inside.
Elina pushed the door open. "Knight-Commander, I wanted to speak with you," Elina swallowed hard, trying to balance the mixture of frustration and intimidation she felt. The Knight-Commander was sitting at his desk, writing. "It'll only take a moment."
"What is it?" Greagoir answered, slightly surprised to see the mage at all. Elina had always been well behaved and mostly kept to herself. Greagoir knew she had few friends. The boy Jowan followed her around, and she and Anders had formed a close friendship over the years. Greagoir had hoped Elina would be a good influence on Anders, but he never seemed to stop his trouble making ways.
"It's about Anders," Elina said, closing the door behind her. "He's been in solitary for over a week now, and I was worried. When will he be released?"
Greagoir looked at Elina closely before he put down the quill he'd been writing with. "When he will be released is up to my discretion and the Templars who have been watching him. He has not shown any remorse for his actions." Greagoir replied simply.
"Anders has his pride, Knight-Commander," Elina noticed her hands were shaking, so she balled them into fists, hoping Greagoir hadn't noticed. "I don't know if you heard, but the Templar hit him first. Anders was protecting himself."
The Knight-Commander stood from his chair and moved around to the front of his desk, while thinking it was curious the normally subdued Elina was refusing to back down. "I understand Anders was goading the Templar."
"But the Templar was the first to violence. Did your Templar receive solitary as well?" Elina couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth, and Greagoir's eyes widened. "Knight-Commander, I'm sorry if I'm being disrespectful, but Anders is a good person and my friend. And I may not know exactly what happens in solitary, but I see the mages who come out of it only a shadow of their former self. Anders has been strong every time he's gone into solitary, but I worry that this time, it will be too much."
Greagoir crossed his arms and found himself sighing deeply. He was not fond of solitary, but it was effective. The mages who went into solitary came back out much more docile and controllable. Anders, though, had yet to be any more manageable. "Solitary is necessary to keep order. Magic is dangerous, Apprentice Elina, you know that. And better than most."
Elina felt the words like a slap across her face. No one had brought up her past for years now, though she thought of it often herself. But to have someone remind her of what she did… She shook off the regret and shame that surfaced with Greagoir's words and told him, "Knight-Commander, please allow me to see Anders. Yes, I do know that magic is dangerous. So let me speak to my friend. He won't be broken by solitary, but he listens to me."
The Knight Commander leaned on his desk thoughtfully. He wasn't ready to let Anders out of solitary- not when he had reports that Anders still yelled out curses whenever he was brought food and tried to blow up the door to his cell only a few days before. The boy deserved months in solitary for his attitude. But he knew Elina was someone, even though she was not necessarily popular, who was respected by the other mages for her often wise words and patience. Maybe, since Anders was a close friend, Elina would be able to make him see some sense, just this once.
Greagoir nodded slowly. "I will allow you to speak with him, but I will not let him out. If his behavior in solitary improves after a conversation with you, I will lessen his time."
Elina knew that was the most she could get from him. And she really just wanted to see Anders, and make sure he was alright. "Thank you, Knight-Commander." Elina gave a brief curtsy, the action still a habit from her childhood days in Kirkwall.
"Come with me. I'll have one of the Templars take you to him now." Greagoir led the mage out of his office, wondering what possessed the girl to muster up so much nerve when Anders had been in solitary many times before. She might've realized that this time Anders had gone too far. Attacking a Templar was no small offense.
Greagoir glanced at the mage at his side as they walked. She was sixteen or maybe seventeen now, and pretty enough for him to consider what Templar to send with her. The Knight-Commander knew that some of his Templars weren't self-restrained and were often disrespectful of the mages, particularly the younger females. Of course, Greagoir didn't tolerate this, but the Templars often got away with their actions for far too long before Greagoir discovered them.
He saw the new recruit, Cullen, as they were about to reach the stairs and Greagoir paused. The boy was maybe a year or two older than Elina, and so far had been incredibly meek and well behaved. He trusted that Cullen would be able to lead Elina to solitary without trying anything… not in her best interest. Despite what the mages often said about Greagoir, he was not a brutal or evil man, though hardened and gruff.
"Cullen," Greagoir barked, causing the young Templar to practically jump to attention. "Take this mage to the holding cells. She's to speak with the mage Anders and then be brought back up by tonight. Do you understand?"
Elina, who had been walking silently with Greagoir, now looked at the Templar named Cullen with creeping fear. She didn't know the young Templar, but she had been hoping she could stay with Greagoir. While she didn't particularly like the Knight-Commander, she at least knew she was safe with him.
"Yes, ser." Cullen answered, intimidated by his gray-haired superior.
"Well, go on," Greagoir told them, before turning and leaving Elina with the Templar, needing to get back to the letter he'd been writing to King Cailan about the condition of the tower.
Elina and Cullen looked at each other, both unaware that the other was equally as nervous and wary as they were. "I… um… I suppose w-we'll go now." Cullen told Elina shyly. He was grateful he wasn't actually taking her to stay in solitary. He'd only been down to the cells once, and he hadn't wanted to go back to the dark and damp place where the some of the other Templars abused the mages.
Elina nodded. "Lead on. I will follow," she answered. She'd witnessed the brutality of some of the Templars, but had only been subject to it only twice. The Templar Frederick had cornered her once in the library when she'd been out past curfew. She had fallen asleep at the table. Frederick had found her there, and as she tried to leave, and grabbed her wrist and pinned her against one of the shelves. He'd told her to not make a sound, looking at her with crazed eyes. He'd leaned toward her, and Elina remembered squeezing her eyes shut just as Anders had called her name. Realizing she hadn't come to bed in the apprentice's quarters, he had gone out to look for her.
Elina hadn't said anything as she squirmed out of Frederick's hold and hurried to see Anders. But when Anders had seen the Templar stalk out from between the shelves to threaten the mages for being out past curfew, Anders had put the pieces together, and wrapped his arm protectively around Elina's shoulders as they walked back to the apprentice quarters together.
The second time, Elina had been present when one of the more outspoken apprentices called the Templar a few unsavory names. As the Templar raised a hand to hit the apprentice, Elina stepped between them. "Move," the Templar had snarled at her. When she refused, he simply hit her so hard she was thrown to the floor.
Elina watched Cullen closely now, as she followed just a step behind him. She knew it was wrong to view all Templars the same way. There were some genuinely kind men who were among them. But Elina was always wary, and always prepared for the worst. And it had served her well.
"I, uh. We're almost there," Cullen said as they reached the steps leading to the basement. "I'll ask someone once we're inside where, uh..." Cullen cursed himself internally, having forgotten the name of the mage they were supposed to find.
"Anders." Elina supplied automatically. Her hands had started to shake again. She'd never wanted to step foot in solitary. But she had to at least try for Anders.
Cullen nodded his head up and down so quickly Elina was almost amused, had it not been for her heart pounding in her chest. "Right. Anders. I'll ask them which cell he's in," Cullen finished as they went down the steps. The air was already getting colder. Cullen reached the guard standing outside of the cell unit and said, "The Knight-Commander ordered me to take this mage to speak with Anders. I'm then to bring her back tonight."
The Templar looked from Cullen to Elina, then told them, "Michael is with the bastard right now. You can wait."
Elina felt goose bumps raise on her arms. Whatever Michael was doing with Anders, it wasn't simply a lecture on rule following. "The Knight-Commander…" she broke off as the Templar gave her a fierce glare. She swallowed hard and tried again. "The Knight-Commander gave me permission to speak with Anders. And I want to go in now."
The Templar standing guard snorted and proceeded to smirk at Elina as he said, "You could go in now if you wanted. But I don't think you want to, girl."
Elina's breath caught in her throat, and she made a squeaking noise. She then steeled herself as she answered in a voice much stronger than she thought she was capable of, "Please take me in now."
Raising an eyebrow the Templar said, "Very well. Just stay out of the way, or you'll end up in solitary as well. Cullen, you're not needed any more. Return to your duties."
Elina looked back at Cullen. The bumbling curly-haired Templar was much less frightening than the Templar she spoke to now. Cullen caught her panicked gaze, but there wasn't much he could do as the newest recruit. He saluted sharply and turned, glancing over his shoulder at the young mage as he returned up the stairs.
"Let's get this over with, then, shall we?" The guard was still smirking as he opened the door to the cells for Elina. Cold air rushed to meet her, along with a pained groan coming from somewhere down the hall.
The lighting was dark, only a few torches flickering on the walls. "Go on, unless you've changed your mind." The Templar put a rough hand on Elina's shoulder, forcing her past the doorway.
Elina took a few more steps in before someone cried out again. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see that one of the cells had an open door. The Templar pointed to it. "That one is where Anders is. He's being taught a lesson, right now. The bastard tried to blast his way out of the cell a few days ago. He needs to learn his place."
Elina moved, only half aware of her footsteps, until she heard another agonized shout. She ran the remaining steps to the cell and, from the light in the hall, could see a fully armored Templar kicking a crumpled form that was curled up on the ground.
"Anders!" She gasped. She felt a kick to her side as she dropped to the ground in front of Anders, trying to cover him with her own body.
"What is this?" The Templar roared angrily, and he kicked again, this time his foot coming in contact with Elina's spine.
"Knight-Commander's orders," the Templar who'd shown Elina inside answered. "You've had your fun, Michael. Lock them in there. We have to get the bitch back out at nightfall."
There was a grumble, and then the door to the cell swung shut, leaving the mages in complete darkness. Anders groaned, and Elina clutched her side where the Templar had kicked her. "Anders, it's me," she managed to say, her whole body convulsing with tremors.
"Andraste help me," Anders rasped. "Elina?"
"Yes, I'm here. Hold on, I'm going to get some light." Elina told him as her shaking began to lessen.
"Don't-" Anders tried to say, but Elina had already summoned a wisp. In the dim light the little ball gave off, Elina looked at Anders's face for the first time in a week and felt her eyes widen in horror.
His lip was bleeding, his skin stretched across cheekbones that were now jutting out from his face, a purpling bruise across his forehead and a fading bruise on his chin. He was shivering in the cold of the basement.
"Maker," Elina gasped. "Anders." She couldn't think of any other words to say as Anders's face contorted with pain. She took off the outer layer of her robe, placing it over Anders like a blanket.
Anders tried to sit up, and Elina quickly helped him, supporting his arm. He had his other arm arm clutching across his lower chest. Elina's hands were trembling as she reached out to touch his cheeks. "What have they done to you?" She felt tears well up in her eyes.
"I'm alright, Elina," Anders said softly, catching her hands with his own. "But you shouldn't be here. Please tell me you weren't sent here. Please."
Elina shook her head, refusing to blink and let her tears free. "No. I convinced the Knight-Commander to let me see you. I was worried that it was going to be worse for you this time. And I was right." She used her magic to probe Anders's body, a pale green light growing from her fingers. He had a cracked rib, a fracture on his shin, and bruises everywhere. Elina felt her eyes sting, but she didn't want to cry when Anders was the one who'd been tortured.
"Don't heal me," Anders said in a low voice when he felt Elina's magic. "If they notice, they'll beat me more next time." While Anders had never wanted Elina to see him like this, he was selfishly glad she was here, though in danger, because he could see her. Her full lips were twitching with barely contained emotion, and he could sense her anger, fear and worry. But she shouldn't be here. There were things much worse than beatings that went on in solitary. He forced himself to let go of her hands. "You should get out of here. Now."
Elina's hands dropped from his face. "No. I'm not leaving you. The Templars can't do this. If Greagoir knew-"
"He'd tell them to stop?" Anders interrupted bitterly. "Greagoir knows what goes on. He thinks it's necessary. After all, he fears magic more than he does the evil in his own men. The evil things that go on under his own nose." Anders hissed in pain as he tried to straighten.
Elina reached out to support him again, leaning him against the back wall of the tiny cell. "I have to try something." Elina answered, her voice betraying her emotions. "I told Jowan I thought they were going to be harder on you this time, since you used your magic against a Templar. But if I had known… if I had known what they were doing to you, I would've come sooner. I'm so sorry, Anders." She reached out, with one hand this time, to gently touch the side of his head, cradling it.
"It's not your fault, Elina. But you really need to get out of here," it hurt Anders to speak, his chest protesting. But Elina was watching him with such concern; he didn't want her to worry further.
"You're not going to make me leave." Elina shot back. "I may not be able to heal you, but I can still help." Her hand glowed green again as she sent out waves of mana into Anders. He closed his eyes. It felt like sunshine and summer breeze to Anders, and when he opened his eyes again, Elina's face was only inches from his own, her own eyes closed in concentration. The wisp cast minimal light, throwing shadows across Elina's features. Anders had always found her unconventionally beautiful. She had a long nose and round cheeks, with a stubborn chin. But she had soft lips—her only feature that gave away how vulnerable she was underneath her defenses. The closeness made him want to kiss her now, as he'd done once before when he'd found her napping in the sunlight streaming through one of the tower's large windows, like a cat. He'd almost wanted her to wake up so he could reveal to her his harbored feelings, but she'd continued sleeping.
Anders leaned in until their foreheads touched, and Elina opened her eyes. Though usually different shades of blue, they turned green when she used her magic. It was Anders's favorite color for her. "Elina, please leave now." Anders breathed, which was not at all what Elina had been expecting. Anders sensed her distress and said quietly, "I don't want the Templars to have any reason to hurt you."
"They've been hurting you, Anders. And while I'm obviously not looking for a beating, I'm not leaving you until I say what I need to." Elina told him, straightening up, breaking the contact.
"Then tell me," Anders said, suddenly feeling much colder as Elina pulled away. "Tell me and please go."
Elina leaned her head against the wall next to him, their arms resting comfortably against each other. "Greaogir said he would lessen your time if he saw an improvement in your behavior. And I know you tried blasting your way out of here a few days ago."
"So… you're telling me to be a good little bastard and let the Templars beat me as they wish?" Anders asked with a humorless laugh.
"I knew before that things were bad in solitary. I didn't realize how bad." Elina said in a small voice. "All I can ask is that you don't try breaking out again, and don't talk back to the Templars. I'll see if I can get Greagoir to let you out. I'm going to tell him what really goes on here. He would stop this madness if he knew."
Anders turned his gaze away from Elina, saying, "Greagoir has been down here before. The Templars aren't as brutal when he's around. And it's not as if he actually cares about any of the mages."
"He wouldn't stand for this. I can speak to the First Enchanter as well," Elina felt her eyes fill with tears again. "I'll do anything and everything I can, Anders."
"Since the Templars reported to the Knight-Commander that I tried to escape, he won't want to listen to anything you have to say." Anders replied with a sigh that agonized his ribs. "Elina, you can't do anything."
"We'll I'm damn well going to try anyway," Elina snapped, her voice lashing out like a whip in the poorly lit cell.
Anders looked at her, shocked at her response. Her anger filled the cell, and he could see her visibly trying to calm herself down, as she took deep breaths. "I didn't mean to make it sound-"
"Please don't say anything," she answered through gritted teeth. She was furious. Her friends had been in solitary before. They never wanted to speak of it, and now she knew why. Every time they came down here, they were beaten until half-dead, powerless to do anything. She forced herself to clear her mind, concentrating on breathing slowly.
Her anger was slowly dissipating, and instead now Anders could feel extreme distress. Elina was a unique mage in this respect—her feelings always manifested themselves around her through magic, making it easy for other mages to pick up on her emotions.
After a several moments of silence, she let out a breath she'd been holding and looked at Anders again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry." The words of the Knight-Commander from earlier in the day rang in her ears. 'You know how dangerous magic is better than anyone.'
Elina still relived that moment sometimes, the horror never truly going away. She had been only seven years old in Kirkwall. There were several other children her age that had always disliked her, always teased her at every opportunity. She remembered the one fall day she'd been playing, throwing a ball to a stray dog who'd taken a liking to her. She loved scratching the pup behind his ears and frequently talked to him about her day or the weather.
The other children found her and begun their merciless teasing, and Elina was almost accustomed to their harsh words and name-calling now. She still tried to get away from them when she could. Now, she called the stray dog back to her, afraid that the children might resort to hitting her this time. "At least the dog likes her," one of the little girls taunted. "The dog's stupid enough not to mind her stutter."
"S-s-stop," Elina tried to sound menacing, but failed. "L-leave me a-alone."
They all laughed at her, and the meanest girl in the group pushed her to the ground. The dog, dubbed Prince by Elina, growled at Elina's attacker and scrabbled over to her side.
"The mutt really does like her," another child had scoffed. "Get out of here," he aimed a kick at Prince, who yelped, but immediately scuttled back to where Elina was trying to get to her feet.
When the boy advanced toward Elina threateningly, Prince sunk his teeth into the boy's leg. With a yelp, the boy shook the dog off.
"That thing is feral!" The boy shouted at Elina. "What are you doing keeping a thing like that around?"
One of the girls snarled, "Kill it. It's probably dangerous."
"No!" Elina shouted as the boy drew a knife from his belt. "No, stop! He's n-not going to hurt a-anyone."
"Hold it down and I'll knife it," the boy ordered, and two of the girls reached to grab Prince, who was barking.
"Stop!" Elina wailed, Prince yowling as the girls managed to grab him, though they squealed as his teeth snapped close to their arms. The boy advanced with the knife, trying not to be bitten by the dog's gnashing jaw. "STOP!" Elina couldn't control herself. There was a rumble almost like thunder and lightning fizzled out from her, though she didn't know what she was doing. It lashed out in a cloud, and the children's terrified screams split through the air.
Elina gasped, dropping to her knees as the cloud vanished. The children were motionless on the ground. Elina looked around in horror before she started screaming, calling for anyone. "Help!" She cried between sobs. It was minutes before someone finally came, finding a seven year old girl kneeling amidst bodies, hysterical, saying as her body shook, "Help them. I didn't m-mean to… I didn't mean to… I d-didn't want to… Help. Help. Please."
"Elina," Anders repeated her name, taking her hand to try to lessen the waves of fear and… guilt? Was it guilt he felt from her?
"It's dangerous for me to be angry," Elina said quietly. "I don't want to hurt anyone ever again. But that doesn't mean I can't fight against something so wrong." Her eyes moved to Anders. She'd been so careful for so long, following all of the rules and remaining half-ignorant of the things the Templars did. But looking at Anders's face now, bruised, starved, and bleeding, she wasn't going to let her own fear of herself stop her from doing what was right.
"What are you talking about?" Anders asked, but Elina wasn't meeting his eyes now, as she looked straight in front of her.
"I'm going to do something about the Templars. I'm going to make the Knight-Commander see. And I'm going to do it without hurting anyone." She got to her feet.
Anders tried to stand, but cringed at the tendrils of pain that shot through his body. He sank back to the floor. "Elina, I don't know what you're thinking about doing, but please be careful." Anders pleaded.
Elina didn't respond, but knocked on the cell door. "I'm ready to leave, now. Let me out of here." She shouted. She had already set her mind on what she was going to do, so she ignored the part of her brain, maybe her common sense, that was telling her she was being foolish and would get herself killed.
The door to the cell swung open. "That was a short visit," the Templar who'd been beating Anders before now glared at Elina.
"The Knight-Commander is expecting me," Elina told him in a shaking voice. She pushed on, "Don't you dare touch Anders again, you bastard."
"What did you call me?" The Templar leaned in dangerously close to her face, but Elina refused to take a step back.
Anders, ignoring the pain, braced himself against the wall as he stood. "Elina, stop." He told her quickly, not understanding her sudden change in attitude. Had she gone crazy?
"I said, don't you dare touch Anders again, bastard." Elina took a shaky breath and braced herself for what was to come.