AN: Yikes! So I finally gathered the courage the post this. This is a songfic to the Radio-heads creep and this is set after the last episode of the anime. And this is my first El-fic ever so if I don´t manage in staying in character you know why. And pretty please, be nice.
"Creep"
What am I doing here? Lucy looked at the dull, grey, building in front of her. This looked more like a prison then a school and reminded her way to much about her time behind closed walls. Closed walls and a treatment no child should ever be exposed to.
Yes, what was she doing in such a place? It was a school, a place for people that were actually allowed to learn, allowed to live…
Like she was, the other one who´d been living behind closed walls most of her life. Yes she…
Like every other day since the dreadful night when Lucy´d almost lost her life, the stump that was once a horn forever reminding her, Lucy sat outside the school-building waiting for the one person she couldn´t forget.
You deserve this. Lucy closed her eyes as she thought of the huge purple eyes looking at whoever they faced with nothing but pure kindness. You deserve to live, deserve to get a future. A future without me…
As always, Lucy sat patiently and watched until the smaller pink haired girl´d come out, well hidden behind one of those huge trees.
And as she finally came out of the building, wearing her blue school uniforms and the black ribbons, hiding the horns that Lucy now only had one of, the other diclonius held her with her eyes , memorizing her every move, her every expression to make sure she had them painted in her memory in case, in case…
There were three other girls with her and she, Nana… the small girl with the sparkling smile was dancing around as if though those arms and legs she had now had always been part of her body.
Lucy could see Nana was smiling now and as she turned her head, her sweet, childlike face towards Lucy it was as if though her huge eyes was looking right at the other girl.
When you were here before, couldn´t look you in the eye.
Lucy remembered the first time she and Nana met. She´d find it hard to face her for some reason. As if though Nanas purity was to much for her to take, her good will towards every living creature something that Lucy could never measure up to.
Still Lucy had faced her and more then that committed the very actions that were the reasons Nanas arms and legs would never be what they once were. Because such was Lucys nature. Nothing was so pure she couldn´t violate it.
You´re just like a angel, your skin makes me cry.
Lucy looked at the other girl from afar, hiding safely behind her big tree. Nana looked so happy where she was standing in the middle of the schoolyard, her smile making her whole face radiate.
Why Lucys eyes were watering all of a sudden she couldn´t tell, all she could tell was she was glad she had somewhere to hide.
Nana danced around again, gesturing unstoppably as if though she was talking about something that excited the life out of her, the three other girls laughing.
You float like a feather in a beautiful world.
Nana had indeed learnt life, learnt how to live and furthermore laugh in a world that should eat the likes of her up and spit them out. She had developed the potential, the potential she´d always had to belong, to be part of the beauty that surrounded her.
That´s why I couldn´t let them take that chance away from you. Lucy looked at the girl.
I wish I was special, you´re so fucking special.
Lucy sighed. No matter how she tried she´d never manage in understanding the way of thinking that was required, no matter how she wanted to…
She was meant not to understand, not to be understood…
But I´m a creep, I´m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here? I don´t belong here.
What was she really doing here? Outside this school she could never enter, close to someone that she could never really be close to.
Yes, what was she doing here? In this place, in this world…
I should have been shot, I deserve nothing less. I can never live here, never love here… never love her…
Lucy put her hand to the stump of her horn a other symbol of her imperfection, of her deformation. I´ve always been crippled, the only difference is it´s visible now.
What was it like? To live, to feel, to want? When looking at the pink haired model of sweetness Lucy couldn´t help but feel and want… but in order to do that she had to be allowed to… yes live.
I don´t care if it hurts, I wanna have control.
I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul.
Again Nana turned around seeming to look directly at Lucy, her eyes seeming to witness of something completely different then the rest of her smooth face.
Was Nana looking at her?
Lucy looked at the other three girls, one was redheaded, one blond and one dark haired but all of them had one thing in common. Next to Nana they were hardly noticeable!
Watching her for one years time Lucy had seen the other girl evolve, turn into something even more beautiful then before. Someone who could just walk into a room and put a smile on all faces and take those smiles back as fast as she left.
Yes, her presence was missed… Certainely missed, Lucy wrapped her arms around the tree in front of her looking at the girl again.
Did Nana notice, did Nana know?
I want you to notice, when I´m not around.
You´re so fucking special, I wish I was special.
Nana turned around towards the other girls still with a smile on her face. She exchanged hugs and kisses on the cheeks with each of them before the girls smiled back, turning their backs to walk away.
Lucys eyes widened as she noticed Nana sitting down on the bench. What was the other girl doing here all by herself?
Maybe she´s waiting for…
No! No matter if that was the case or not Lucy had to stay here, she just couldn´t risk once again…
She looked down at Nanas wells shaped legs, once again feeling a almost physical pain. Only she knew what those really were, and most importantly, why?
Knowing herself, Lucy knew these kind of events were no rarities and she knew only to well how little it would take for her to give into these thoughts again.
Cause I´m a creep, I´m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here? I don´t belong here!
Nana was resting her elbows on her knees, her hand on her chin. She was looking away, at what Lucy wasn´t sure.
Lucy wanted so badly to sit next to her, put her arm around her soft, tender shoulders. But she had to settle with watching, imagining how that pink hair would feel under her fingers, how it would feel breathing in that sent that was uniquely Nanas.
Seconds that felt like minutes, minutes that felt like hours… Then the angel rose to her feet, walking with quick steps out of the school-yard. Yes, she was leaving like every other time, her feet barely touching the ground.
She´s running out again
She´s running out
She run, run, run, run
Run, run
Lucy drew a deep sigh. Her heart was beating, every fiber in her body protesting against what was about to happen.
Without even knowing how it´d happened Lucy´d risen to her feet, left her hideout to run after the one she´d so badly tried to stay away from.
"Nana! Wait!" Lucy heard herself say.
She ran over the sideway, suddenly seeing Nana turn around. Even though her eyes were wide they said nothing of surprise. They were more…
"So you finally show yourself, Lucy-san".
Lucy couldn´t say anything, just nod as a reply.
Nanas eyes were serious, her face making that familiar frown Lucy had learnt to love.
"I knew you were there", the younger diclonius kept on, "you know our kind can always sense when a other is around".
Yes, Lucy knew, but the chaotic events under one years time, her growing feelings for the elflike figure in front of her had made her forget. Forget everything else.
Without thinking Lucy approached the other girl taking her in her arms.
"Why?" Nana asked softly.
I wanna make you happy, whatever you want.
The girl didn´t protest as Lucy pressed her lips against her silky hair, pressing her small shape against her.
Before she knew how it´d happened their mouths met, her hands running threw Nanas pink hair. Lucy wrapped her arms around Nanas waist as the kiss grew more intense, feeling her heartbeats increasing. She´d longed for this for so long, taste the taste of what was unselfish love.
You´re so fucking special, I wish I was special.
Lucy wanted to stay like this forever, forget there was a past, forget there was ever to be a future, forget everything safe for the silky hair under her fingers, the soft, warm, body close to hers, the lovely sent under her nostrils.
But I´m a creep, I´m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here, I don´t belong here.
One last brush of smooth lips against hers and Lucy gently put her hands to the girls shoulders looking into her eyes.
"Live!" she said softly to the lovely face before her, "get yourself a future and forget the past".
Then she slowly turned around walking away on the grey sideway. Enough with this. Enough with dwelling in dreams. This was not Lucy place to be, not her life to damage.
Get yourself a future forget the past. Where that future would be or what it´d consist of Lucy didn´t know, but one thing was sure and it was that this future was not here, not with her.
I don´t belong here.
AN: So yeah! That was my first El-fic, now give me your opinions. And yes! I know that was a very un-Lucy like behaviour. But come on! She did "evolve" in the last episode so it´s not that unlogic.
And the biggest reason I posted this is there are to few Nana x Lucy-fics here. Really, there should be more! But ok, now I´ll stop babbling. Anyway, any critisism is welcomed as long as it´s constructive but if you flame, burn, burn, burn!
Anyhow, thanks for reading this XD!