Author's Note: This is a PARODY. I don't really write like this. Don't believe me? Check out the other twenty-something stories I have. (The OC is from my other parody work – "Too Perfect to be True")

Hey! Guess what? I don't own any of the characters! Wow! Isn't that amazing?

Harry was walkin thru the school ground lookin for Ron. Harry had just now notice that Ron had been missing for 3 days. But he supposed that the fact that Ron's bed had been empti shouldve been a clue.

It take Nieville stickin his head in Harrys face durin breakfast for Harry to realize that Ron was missin. Harry suppose that the only reason for this was cuz someone had put a spell on him. Which was only natural to assume since he was at Howgart the school of Wizcraft and Witchry.

Harry coght a flash of red down near the Forest Forbidden and tok off runnin toward it. Just as he reachs the Forest Forbidden he fell in a whole. He kept fallin and fallin, never able to reach the bottom.

Eventually (somehow, dunno how) he reach the bottom. Harry hit the ground with a bounce and kept bouncin like a kid on a trampoleine

After an hor of this he realized that he had stop bouncin. In surprise, he look round til he found a light switch. Flickin the switch made the hole room light up. Harry look round in surprise.

The place was full of magic! It glow green and blue and gold and hard and purple and rose and turquoise and mauve and soft and golden and silver and blue and rainbow and shiny and tan and black and white and fuzzy. It was amazin!

"WOWZA!" Harry whisper as he ran around in circles tryin to catch the flyin purple fuzzy rainbows.

"Hey! Harry! Whatcha doin!" Ron shout from where he was sittin on a jumbo jet that look liked a christmas tree.

"Ron! Im on drugs!" Harry scream as he did cartweels thru some flamin hops that appeared.

"No, you aren't on drugs! I am!" Scream some crazy chick with long flowing ebony locks .

"Who you?" Mutter Ginny from her spot on the monkey bars.

"I'm Hemolele! I'm from Hawaii – courtesy of a nice fancy school in Japan. I didn't like it there though, they made me explode!" Hemolele say gracious as she began doin ballet on tigtroe.

"Really?" Harry call out from his spot on a dancing bear shoulder.

"Yes, really. Do you want to dance with me Harry Potter?" Hemolele stop dancing and came to Harry, then she help him off the aliaphant back and onto her titope.

"Ya, love two!" Harry whisper excite as he begin to dance a walts alung the titrope.

Ginny scream in horror! "HARRY! What you doin with that mary sue!"

"I dumpin u fer her!" Harry proclaim loud to the crowd great hall. "Bumblebee will you marry us?"

White Bumblebee look down his long nose and over his alf moo spectacle. "Why dear Harry course I will! Yer the chosen one after all!"

"Nay! I will not have it!" Screams Hook Nose from his seat by the candiler. "Harry is mine!"

"No! U belong to me!" Hermione breath brethlesly from atop the gobby of fire!

"Hermione! What bout r kiss kiss slap slap?" ron ask forlorly rom a piktur fram.

"no! I dun wan play kiss kiss slap slap anore! I wan play squick w/ severus!" Hermione call she jump on sevurs and start frenchin him.

Harry begin two dance magik danc with Hemolele as severus and Hermione begin to mak the best w/ to back on tabl in front of mcgonoogall

Sprout kam ot of her pot and begin to konsol ron as he sob tear of sady at da noise severus and Hermione make.

Aftr a moment Bumblebee join them and they retret to da pot of dirt with a few mandrakes.

Ginny watch the orghy or oa moment before grabin a Firebolt from the kitchen and flin of two fvist Hagrid.

Three day later harry is getting maried and Hemolele is prununced queen of wizardry. Twogether they kill Moldevort as he sleep and staby the horcucz

Den harry take wand, cloak, and stone and make em lok like der symbol. Eh and Hemolele stick der thingies twogether and when they is doen bad whorcrux is dun and all is hapy

Da Ennd.

Author's Note: It's bad, it's supposed to be bad. I'm making fun of a certain bad fanfic about vampires and mary sues and such. Also, I just want to prove that anyone can write a bad story, lol. So, take this with a grain of salt and have fun tearing it to pieces. Just don't think that this is all I do…please, don't :)

Enjoy! Read! Review!