If You Thought I Was Perfect
"Hi." I looked up and realized that the person who just said hi to me was none other than Lily Evans.
"Uhh" my mouth dropped open. Damn it! She looked confused
"Um.." She looked around the compartment. "How's your summer been?"
"Hey Evans, what's up? Good summer. Didn't have to see my bloody family once. Oh and by the way did James do anything wrong to piss you off in about the 20 minutes we've actually been on this train?- Wait" Sirius said turning to me "Have you even seen her today?"
"Nope." She answered for me "I just thought that I'd come and give a friendly Hello.. you know." She smiled. God why did she have to be so perfect.
"Uhh" I seriously still couldn't say hello.
"Wait Lily Evans. Wants to say 'hello' to James Potter?" Said Sirius trying to believe his eyes.
"Not just James, come on. I don't hate you that much Black!" She smirked. "Well I'll see you two later" she said turning to me "maybe when you can talk."
She left the compartment. I turned to Sirius "Mate..? Did she just?"
"Do that? Yes. Did she just use your name? Yes."
"Do you reckon she's got Nargles?"
Oh my god. I cannot believe that that just happened. Damn it! What is wrong with me. I have to go and let this stupid fall in love with Potter' thing get stuck in my head and now of course it just HAS to come true. Really? Why is life so cruel. And the fact that he couldn't say a word to me. I am definitely going back to plan A. It worked fine the second half of last year (well right up until the end that it.) and I can do it again. Ignore it. My feelings will go away… yeah they will! As soon as James Potter becomes a bloody prat, which isn't going to happen! Because he decides he's going to change his ways a be bloomin' lovable and now and now and now he decides he's over me! NOW! Just my bleedin luck. Why did he have to change. Damn him for changing. It's not fair. He can't do this to me. Not now.. He's just such a "HEAD BOY! No wait… James, Shit! Why did I use his first name again!, Potter is head boy.. Has Dumbledore lost his marbles? Oh my God.. this is- this is barmy." I mumbled all of this more to myself than him.. Oh he's till here. I force myself to eye roll "You are kidding right?" He sighed
"Well at least it's nice to see that Lily is back to normal with so little faith in me"
"What do you mean back to normal? What kind of question was that!" I definitely know the answer. Why the Hell did Dumbledore go and make him bloody head boy "You weren't even a prefect!" I squaked
"Um Lily I wasn't planning on it either.. I just.."
"You just? You just? You don't think you could have mentioned it to me when I tried, and F.Y.I failed, to have a conversation with you about how your summer went!"
"Well it wasn't a high point alright. And that is just what I'm talking about, normal.. You tried to have a conversation with me a bloody conversation! I mean sure, last year we were acquaintances. But you made it clear you didn't feel like being around me when none of your other friends were."
"I-" I squeaked. He had me.. Plan A. Avoid Jam-Potter. Reinstating now! I stare at my feet.
"Ah shit, Lily" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I guess.. I don't even know. I just hope this can be a good year." To hell with that! This is going to be the worst and LAST year of my life! Did you hear him, I freaked out at him (when it's not his fault!) and he apologized for defending himself without so much as raising his voice. I told you, he's not going to be a prat anytime soon. So I answered simply "I hope so to."
ok. I have decided that I wasn't going to blow up at perfect Lily when she goes crazy. Damn it! It's not her fault. Like Moony said "You egg her on naturally. She got used to you being a prat and she can hardly help going barmy, Prongs. You've just got to show her your not one anymore. Then she'll start to change."
"Yeah mate," Sirius added "Prongs she can't help it. And I'm not sure if.. well.. maybe.. youshouldjustmoveon"
"What?" I nearly fainted.
"I think what Pads meant was that you should get the idea of her going out with you this year out of your head.. at least for now. Just work on being her friend. Wait until she realizes what she's got in front of her." He had tried to let me down easy..
"You mean forget her. It's not possible. It's not. She is a part of my life.. For so long.. taking her out of it, would be taking away my childhood.- But maybe your right. I-"
"Listen mate. Trust us."
And I had. So I must.
"James?" what? What was that? "James." I awoke a hand shaking me gently "James it's time to go meet the prefects. In the prefects compartment." What? Had I fallen asleep? And why was she looking down at me. Did I shrink? As if reading my mind Lily answered
" You sighed after I said I hoped it would be a good year and closed your eyes.. And Y-y-you fell asleep." She turned pink.
"What? Did I say anything?" My whole charade would be blown if I had said anything about Lily!
"No.. no. not really. Y-you um well.. you kind fell over on me.." I peered up at her.. her cheeks were now red and then I realized I was still there.
"Oh!" I said as I jumped off of her and tumbled out over the floor. I stared up at her in horror and started throwing out apologies "I'm so sorry Lily! Really! I didn't mean! I'm oh my!" I stopped and realized she was laughing at me. I didn't have to worry.
Yes, but what that lovely boy sprawled across the floor doesn't know, before he started mumbling, is how close I'd been to touching his perfect unruly hair. After a while I got used to it and had placed my hand gently on his head. At first he went silent I almost removed my hand. But then he "hmm"ed and I continued to stroke his hair. I know! I'm hopeless. How can I avoid Jam-potter if I'm stroking his hair. I should have used the opportunity to shove him off me and laugh at his face. It was just so soft and now all I wish was that there was no prefects meeting and that I could have just sat there and touched his lovely black hair. But no.. I had to wake him up. I laughed, I honestly don't know what was so funny about this whole situation.. It was just so ironic. He loves me for years and I absolutely abhor him and now he goes and gets over me and I can't help but fall head over heels in love with him. And the fact that he teases me about it in his sleep just isn't fair. And it's just so funny. But well then he just looked at me strange and I just got up and left expecting him to follow.. Which, he did. And now heads duties are over, which surprisingly he didn't do to badly on. I'm in the common room sitting in my favorite armchair waiting for James to come back down from his dorm room after he realized that 1. There weren't enough beds up there. 2. Stop Sirius from trying to kick Peter out of the dorm. 3. Realize his stuff isn't up there. And 4. Realize that he has to share a separate dorm with me. Yeah this should be interesting. And speak of the devil (because it's really not fair that he got over me and now I'm trapped in this stupid mess.) here he comes. I can feel his eyes draw towards me.. I'm clearly no reading my book.
"Um Lily. Do you know anything about the situation upstairs?"
"Oh yeah.. we have separate dorms as heads. I was waiting for you to realize. I just wasn't expecting you to stay up until 12 first.. ugh. And I had to actually pretend that I wanted to read my book that long when I was really watching you play exploding snap.
"But, why didn't you tell me!"
"You got the letter too. Come on James really. Didn't you even read it?"
"I.. I didn't even look at the envelope until today on the train." YES! He's not taking his duties seriously that means that I can hate him again!
"What? Why? Because that's really irresponc-"
"No, Lily, I didn't open it because I didn't get it before then." Damn it! That was such a stupid stupid stupidly good excuse!
"But, It's Dumbledore" I fumbled around for an answer "And… Owls! They can find you anywhere!"
" I guess he just hadn't made up his mind."
"More like lost his bloody mind!" I closed my eyes telling myself he didn't deserve this.
"James.. I'm sorry. We're heads and we need to be on good terms- so- I guess, I just that's a really hard answer to believe."
"You're right lily. And I am lying, partially. But I'm just- just not ready to tell you."
"Oh…" I felt like reaching out and hugging him.. but just succeeded in looking awkward.
"Well, er, can we go to bed now.."
"Yeah.. our dorms are near Ravenclaw. I'll show you." I led the way out of the portrait hole.
To hell with this. How am I ever going to ignore him if he's Head Boy AND we share a common room? This is so fucked up.